make do and mend for tougher times

Popperwell

fuddle wrote: »

I hope I haven't embarrassed myself today. I'm a bit ashamed and wished I hadn't said anything now.

Nothing of the kind...I think it's good that you have heard so many ideas and opinions. It is a big step. And many on here have had experiece of fostering just as the other day they were able to input about child minding.

My blog goes through similar phases, I may something now and tomorrow something has changed. When you write as I am now this is my thought at this minute.

Again, an example I felt different on Thursday to how I did on Friday when that form arrived. I shouldn't be but I am worried but then hopefully when they have gone through it I hope things will continue as they were and I'll relax until the next problem comes along(we know that they will)

kidcat

Popperwell - how would you feel about starting a group? You could set the tone as it were and it certainly sounds as though its needed in your area.

Popperwell

Well I could think about it, would a social group be seen as "Work" in the eyes of the DWP/Governement? They are only funny. I suspect the voluntary work I used to do at the hospital for 15 years would not be allowed under the new rules now in force or coming in...

As to what we'd do at the group certainly would have to be thought of long and hard. And whether any restrictions on age would be needed. Or open to all...

Whether we need to hire transport if it was the kind of group that goes places or depend that some members have access to their own.

Also whether those attending are on low budgets that may restrict what can be done. It would be awful if someone felt embarrased in some way.

But something to consider.

elche1

Hola one and all,
Thanks Mrs C and fuddle for the bread advice....first batch is in the fridge and I can´t wait to try it in the morning. Will report back as to the outcome!
Fuddle re the fostering I will add my tuppence worth if I may. I have an older sister who with two little little ones of her own decided to foster, not for monetary reasons, but because she is just one of lifes "earth mothers". She just loved having a house full of kids ( unlike myself who must have been at the back of the queue when they handed out maternal instinct!! ) She fostered a little girl and from memory had her with them for about 3 years when she was taken from them and returned to her birth mother. Big sis and BIL were OK but it did have a very negative effect on her own 2 kids as they had suddenly lost their sister. She never fostered again. Went onto have another one of her own and now has a house full of grandkids to keep her happy. Sometimes you just have to look after your own.

Changing the subject somewhat I too am trying to lose a few kilos. Lost about 6 kgs so far by just trying to "low carb". I am not following any plan as such and luckily don´t have a sweet tooth at all ( cannot stand sweeties...sorry mardatha ) but just cutting out potato, rice, pasta and bread where possible. So tonight when OH had chilli and rice I had chilli and salad. Been doing this since beginning of this month and as well as the weight going in the right direction ....albeit slowly...I do seem to have a lot more energy which is a bit of a bonus.
Well hugs to all....an hour ahead of you here so going to put air con on in bedroom and read my new cookery book for an hour...exciting or what!!!!!

Elche

Possession

I know EXACTLY what you mean Fuddle as those are exactly the reasons I didn't foster, along with DH's very long and unpredictable working hours. I wasn't prepared to cause upset to my own children, which I guess means I wasn't right for it anyway. I did think it would be something I'd come back to as the children were older but now I'm not sure. My own children, and arthritis, exhaust me half the time so I don't think I could go through it again.
Back from my parents and a very happy weekend spent with my 2 little nephews. The 3 yr old is obsessed with flags so we had a couple of hours with shouts of 'ALBANIA! Whoopeee!', 'Trinidad and Tobago, that's my 5th favourite flag!' - he's like a little Nick Hornby. And the one yr old walks around singing to the tune of God Save the Queen, it's hilarious!

fuddle wrote: »

I need to know these things. To be honest I am put off but that is no bad thing. An awful lot to think about but I think Mar is right is suggesting that child minding would be easier.

I have played 'keepy uppy' with the issues today. I hate to say it but I don't think fostering is for me. Is that a bad thing? I feel like I have so much to give but selfishly I am not prepared to alter the dynamics of my family. I feel like I want to give a vulnerable little one a home but I don't want all the heart ache that comes with that. I feel like I'm letting myself down. I feel like I have quit at the first hurdle.

My lunch at MIL's house was lovely. A welcome change and guess what... I had a glass of red wine! I started chatting a lot :rotfl: The girls and I picked all her ripe strawbs, she had a fair few! Fingers crossed for my patch next year.

Going to enjoy the swimming olympic events, have a hot choc and get knitting my socks.

I hope I haven't embarrassed myself today. I'm a bit ashamed and wished I hadn't said anything now.

SpikyHedgehog

smileyt wrote: »

Pooky, what a drag for you! Would your insurance cover the spoiled food or is it not worth the hassle claiming for it?

Can I ask a question of you all? Do I seem immature to you? I found out yesterday that someone I thought was several years older than me is actually younger - this person is very calm and collected and together, and always beautifully turned out. It made me reflect on myself and I've come out of the comparison badly. I have none of the trappings of an adult in this society - no house (well, rented, for which I'm grateful), no car, don't drive, no career, no pension, I'm as unsophisticated as it's possible to be because I am always out with dogs or on my bike or whatever, and I'm not even adult-sized and still get patted on the head by random strangers and bouncers in pub doorways! I have to buy children's shoes (only good thing is lack of VAT). This other person is not nasty and materialistic, by the way - she's a lovely person. I just feel very gauche and immature and wonder if that's how I come across?

I guess the good thing is that I know my friends are my friends because they're friends .... no-one would ever hang around with me for what I could get them .....

Sorry. I think this is the PMS talking. I think I am going to go back to bed for a bit until I can pull myself up by the bootstraps.

Smiley, you are you & important for being you! I'm nearly 42, married with 2 children (though we all know my husband doesn't live with us, having left me last year) & still say ' when I grow up' . I bet your friend compares herself to you as well :-)

fuddle wrote: »

Just took delivery of DD's bed base from freecycle. DH's work driver has picked it up in the van for us. Chuffed to bits. If I had bought a new base, a cheap one, it would not have been as good quality as this second hand one. For her birthday she would like a pink bedroom. She's had green and yellow monkey bedroom since we moved here. I'm going to sort it for her as her gift. Others have bought her duvet cover, wall stickers and MIL has managed to pick up a little table and chair for me to paint.

Personal question coming up..... bathing/showering. I've always had a bath or shower at night. I was wondering if it would be ok to get a wash down instead i.e. a basin full of water and wash every other night? My kids too. It would save a lot of water/gas charges. Is it seen as dirty though. I remember my grandma and grandad only ever had a bath on a Sunday night. They weren't dirty and didn't smell.

I have a shower every other day now I can wash my greasy hair every other day rather than every day, & have a strip wash the other day. DS1 showers twice a week with alleged strip washes each day (well, he certainly uses deodorant each day), DS2 has a bath once or twice a week with strip washes each day. The boys have eczema, so daily baths or showers aren't good for them anyway.

Cheapskate

Morning toughies

I'm going to bite the bullet, grasp the mettle, or whatever other metaphor I can think of and hand in my notice at weekend job this week, so will be £70 a month down, but so much better off time-wise, and less stressed out - no contest! Will feel a bit strange, and sort of sad, as I've worked there over a decade, don't know how it will go down with them, but as DH says the system's been changed for the worse, the high-ups have sh*t on everyone from a great height (whilst keeping their perks!), so why be loyal for 70% less money and worse conditions? Hope I'm doing the right thing - I'm hopeless at making decisions sometimes! :rotfl:

I'm saving what I can out of TC, so that come the autumn I'll have a little cushion for the winter, and will keep on my stitching job - hardly any money, but just enough for little extras now and again.

I have 2 sets of friends who foster, one lot have a daughter and began when she was about 13, the others have 3 boys (all left school) and have just started. Different family dynamics, but both have similar needs and desires to help some of these children, most of whom have appalling backgrounds. I couldn't do it, would be too upsetting for me, and our 2 are too young to deal with any fallout, but I am so proud of my friends who can do it. :T

A xo

fuddle

It's my hair that I'm finding the problem. I think it's so used to being washed daily that I can't cope with it the second day. I'm not sure what to do about it other than wash it daily util I can wear hats in the autumn. Hopefully then I can wash it every other day, not worry about what it looks like while hair adjusts to it's new regime.

Morning

Dreary here. Sun is there but mostly drear. Interesting watching the olympics yesterday and seeing really horrendous downpours - isn't that what Piers predicted?

DD has two parts to her room (the house was extended to make a study off the bedroom with an arch doorway between) I find the pair of them trekking all of little DD's things into the study part. They have asked for little DD to have the study as her bedroom. Dubiously, I moved the bed in there and they're thrilled. It looks cute them all together. I don't how long it will last but I'm hoping they can stay in there as come the winter months I won't need to worry about heating the other room. We shall see.

Nothing much doing today other than taking the girls on their bikes to my friends house where she has a cul-de-sac complete with roundabout kind of thing. We sit out in the street nattering on deck chairs, supping tea, while they have supervised freedom (is that a contradiction? lol)

Going to attempt a fish pie for tea tonight. The fish pieces have been in the freezer for about 2 months. They'll be ok won't they?

SpikyHedgehog

prepareathome wrote: »

I am wondering if I have brought to the attention of my HA that hubby and I are over occupying as today threatened them with legal action over repairs they have not done - tried to be patient, been waiting 5 years for a new front door that government gave them the money to give me under the improvements programme ( council couldn't afford to do it so government said if they transfer housing stock to a HA they would supply the money) and have been fobbed off over and over.

They ran out of money when they came to my door after doing windows and back door and next payment was to come in three months and door supposed to be done then and they forgot. They tried to get round it by saying I had signed a form saying I didn't want a door, but as no form could be found they had to agreed I did not do so. So for 5 years we have gone round in circles - them saying the money was spent elsewhere and so surveyor will have to say if I need a new front door ( original door from when house was built in 1930 not made to keep out draughts or even be that secure, more something just to shut to keep children in) so out comes surveyor who agrees door needs replacing and until its made will send carpenter who will make it safe - who comes and falls about laughing as only thing holding it in place is the paint and goes away. Then nothing happens till I phone again and so we start again.

That isn't what broke the camels back as they say, it was kitchen unit - in March found under sink cupboard was flooded so yes they were out within a day and I was told they had found just after they put the units in a seal was faulty in draining board and they were supposed to come and change them, but they only did the north of the city, they didn't bother with us as we are only 141 properties and many of them sheltered accommodation, so we are not important. Whole cupboard was found to be damaged as water had been seeping into the wood for nearly 5 years and so I was promised a new unit. Called a few times and told they have to have it built and so will take a few months. Then today open right hand door and it falls off and point of door hits my left foot ( door still attached to bottom hinge but top one slipped out of the rotten wood). I yell and blood starts pouring. Clean up the mess but cannot move last two toes at all. So taxi to walk in centre who sends me onto hospital for x-rays. Door- which is really heavy as full of water - has broken some bones in centre of foot and they think damaged a nerve or two but they will wait till swelling goes down to see. Can walk just no feeling on outside or last two toes which still will not move but throbbing in part of middle of foot

So when I got home phone HA again and got the usual surveyor story and told they cannot come and even take door off till next Wednesday - the bottom hinge has got stuck and will not come off unless I pull it from the wood, which would be easy to do, but I do not want to give them any reason to say I have damaged their fixture and fittings.

So I phoned Shelter to see if they could give me advice and they felt using the Community Legal Advice is way to go as I have already gone down the whole HA complaints process and never received as much as an email never mind a letter ( and I sent everything recorded delivery so I know they got them). So they asked our income and said we should be entitled to LA ( I thought you only got that now for criminal cases) so past my name to them.

They called back within half an hour and will be sending me all the relevant forms and explained what they will do - first a letter reminding them of the relevant parts of the Housing Act 2004 , girl said there were two parts that could be used. The fact they should ensure all properties are secure and the fact that all properties should be assessed not to have hazards is I think how she put it and the fact they knew about the weak seal causing the leak for nearly 5 years and never came and changed it, knowing water was leaking all that time causing sink unit to eventually become a danger and now leaving me with a heavy door half hanging off.

After doing this I again filled in the complaints form on the HA website and included what had happened at hospital and what woman at CLA said. Received first the usual automated reply but then at 5.30pm I received an email from a human being saying Project Manager will be in touch sometime next week - that's more than I have had in these 5 years.

Snag of course is I was hoping to keep my head down, pay my rent ( not claim the HB we could claim) keep in credit and hope they would not notice me for a bit when they start being squeezed to empty over occupied homes and this is going to bring us to their attention.

I couldn't leave it, also the door from side of house into my garden is falling to bits and so makes garden insecure and again been getting the run around on that since last November. So I have just had enough. If I continue to leave it might end up with so many repairs that they use that as an excuse to move us out. So annoying if I lived where they have their main stock of 20,000 properties in the north of the city they would be out to fix everything in a heart beat as they keep those homes perfect to keep winning awards showing what wonderful landlords they are - they win an award every month or so, we all get letters to tell us, but all for things they have done in the north never my area ever.

A friend I have in the north is fed up with them offering to upgrade her heating, windows ( she now has triple glazing) kitchen ( she has had two in 5 years), gardens done, walls built all round and she has a guarantee all repairs will be dealt within 1 working day and her rent is less than mine and I cannot get a secure front door never mind anything else.

Yes I am feeling rather hard done to.......if foot was to stop aching I could forget.

Got blight alert email for my area and all areas around, today - got ones for areas around over past week - so was hoping to go out and dig up my last potatoes but foot to sore and stress has brought on flare all over:mad: and today has actually been dry instead of the rain that was forecast, even sun late this afternoon.

Goodness me, PAH, your HA do mess you about! Hoping you get the stuff done quickly now & your foot heals well.

kidcat wrote: »

PAH - if you need one bedroom for your disability does that not entitle you to a council tax discount too? I know when we went into council and explained about having to add a bedroom for DS14 due to his ASD she told me that when he had his diagnosis I should go back in and apply for discount.

Currently, probably - I know my sister in law could have applied for a 4 bedroom house with nephew 2's diagnosis. But with the proposed bedroom tax, it could change :-(

Popperwell wrote: »

I think the carers association here and only two streets from where I live were hopeless, they did not really help or give advice when Mum was ill and as someone said on the radio when Mum passed away all contacts with those who supposedly help us just disappeared over night and you are totally alone.

As you've probably seen I did not rate the Social Worker and main District Nurse were poor and if I say that take it as read because you could nothave anyone more easy and willing to fit in with the plans of others. I was asking for advice about thecare I thought was poor from said people and I found out they shared the same building(so they probably are working hand in hand)

There probably are soem meetings I can attend and make some friends so I won't dismiss the idea.

Most seem to happen in the church groupMum's funeral took place, a couple of streets from the Nursing Home she passed away but taxi fares(buses are not reliable)will add approx £10 to the look out. Had it been in the town centre near me that would come down to £5 or I could try and walk it slowly.

Pops, if you contact the church group, there could be someone living near you that you could share a taxi with?

SpikyHedgehog

fuddle wrote: »

Just caught up on the Gardeners World section on pruning blackcurrents. Thanks so much for pointing me in that direction. I'm clear of what to do now.

Going to prune and take 2 cuttings tomorrow. One to plant on in the garden for a new bush and one in a pot to take with me should we move, the idea being I have 1 of everything I invest in to replant on, when we leave.

Tax when self employed. In my shopping I have bought two containers so I can begin collecting toys to childmind and a folder, notebook, highlighter for keeping accounts.

I'm unsure whether to make a note of these and put them down to start up costs. They have been bought for child minding but I don't know whether I can include them in my accounts before I'm even registered. Can anyone shed any light on it? The girls are going to go through their things and donate things to the children who come to play. Whether they can bring themselves to part with such things remains to be seen but I'm pleased they are thinking about giving.

Also, my children have a piggy bank and save any pocket money they get in there. I'm keen to teach the girls about good money decisions and bad and thought about opening the eldest daughter a savings account for her 8th birthday. What do you think? Too young or a sensible idea?

Pooky wrote: »

Fuddle - I really wouldnt start getting toys etc for childminding until you've started the courses and seen what grants are available. I had a £500 start up grant that I could claim but all the receipts I could enter for it had to be within a certain time frame. The £500 was more than enough for a start up, I got my first lot of contracts/accounts/accident book etc free for joining the NCMA too. I really would hold fire on the part, like I said before I started the course in the September and wasn't fully registered until the following June, I couldn't apply for the grant until I had my registration number and it was more than enough time to get some bits together. Another childminder friend passed a couple of enquiries my way and they came for a visit and I went straight into having 2 kids who were just over 1 year. At that age they play with anything and I built my toy stocks up slowly over the next few years.

more important than toys are the basics, high chair/s, pushchair/twin pushchair, potty, loo seat, cot and bedding (I used a travel cot as it needed to go in DD1s room when I was working but could be stored away when she was home from school) stair gates, garden safety stuff etc. OFSTED were/are very hot on the outdoor spaces. I spent my grant money on those items.

I'd keep all receipts, including those for the books & highlighters - if you can't claim them back, oh well, but if you can, you've got them to hand. All I'd buy for now is stuff you will use with your girls anyway, I think my childminder got the tax back on those items.