make do and mend for tougher times

fuddle

At mother in laws for lunch and on my phone so apologies for any typos.

MIL fostered when she was younger and I had no clue. She's given me a lot to think about too. DH Would be comfortable with under 5's only and so would I while the girls are still just 7 and 3. We need to talk to the girls too as it would mean they would have to give up their play room. I can't foresee any other problems on their behalf, but they may just throw up something we hadnt thought of.

Evie74_2

Kidcat you don't come over as being too pushy at all, as others have said it sounds like the other woman has the problem and it sounds like the other group members have realised it too, or they wouldn't be rallying round.

Katieowl - I am shocked that LAs would consider placing a sick child with a family without letting the family know what is wrong! Surely it is in the best interest of the child for those caring for them to have the fullest picture of their needs, quite apart from the issue of risk to the carer and the carer's own family? I'm almost speechless! :eek:

GQ - have a great evening! Simple pleasures are the best ones :j

Evie xx

mardatha

Fuddle I thought you were only going to child-mind ? Wouldn't that be a lot easier and simpler?
We had almost no rain today and yesterday but its 13C and windy. I wish we could have a real blast of summer before the winter draws in again

Angel_Jenny

Bobbykins wrote: »

Pops - if you do decide to have a go at something outside the home, it might be worth checking if there is a "University of the Third Age" run in your area - google U3A - it's a social group for people over 55 and they have all sorts of groups that might interest you. Our local one has walking/singing/knitting/cycling/bridge/whist etc, as well as short courses in all sorts of interesting stuff - languages, science, philosophy, art, crafts, etc.

My grandma goes to U3A and it sounds amazing! She mainly goes for a chat but there are so many courses available.

I will just have to wait a few years until I am 55. It had better still be around in about 30 years!!

wigglebeena

kidcat wrote: »

Oh my, we have a guy coming out tomorrow to assess our building claim (house under warranty needs small hole on apex fixing) and we have got to have the house presentable. It occurred that he may want loft access so mad panic to get DD6 room organised as loft hatch in her room (may look into vaibility of moving it actually as its a pain in there). Decided to heave out DS8 room on way past which was awful, managed his room in record time but am left with twenty video and DVD boxes and nothing to go in them - where do these things go?

Cannot believe the mess, especially as its only a few weeks since I had a huge sort out in there.

The steroids are giving me terrible heartburn, am not sure it thats normal, but at least the cough has started to subside I think. Although am not sure if its worse to be up coughing all night or have heartburn.

Can I ask do I come across as being a know it all and pushy? I ask because am really upset that one group I am involved with (they of the cake/petrol saga) the leader has really upset me a few times this week with comments like yes boss, font of all knowledge (she suggested a day out to someone and I pointed out it had closed down two years ago) and a few other bits, its all on FB which is awkward but a few of the group have contacted me and asked am I ok, as they are taking her comments to be nasty as well. I just dont know if perhaps I am being too much and should withdraw.
Its a group that is supposed to be my support and respite for DS - although the respite is a group activity that I have to attend and supervise DS myself and is stressful in the extreme, but he enjoys it loads.

I just feel that maybe it is me and I need to change somehow to fit in I just dont know how to do it.

Threw a casserole in SC this morning, using the diced chicken I had bought with intention on BBQ today, as it rained all night I dont see t he point, ground is soaking and huge puddles everywhere - hedge trimmer still in box as it rained the minute the battery was charged. OH work again tomorrow so have lost my chance as it were.

Managed trip to Mr T yesterday and grabbed mushy peas for 4p a tin, kids thought I was mad but as I pointed out if veg gets too expensive its something at least.
My approved food order is still showing as not being processed yet which is a pain, was hoping for delivery tomorrow so I can escape for day on Tues. when plumber due to install special valves on bathroom to slow water flow and help prevent any further flooding. Dad says he will be here so DS has no idea its happened!!
Gardener coming Monday to quote for garden and mum has agreed to sit in with them when they do job so DS is out of way and OH and I have agreed that when the building work gets done with scaffolding I will stay at travelodge until scaffolding is removed with DS too.

Can I ask how long garlic and onions take to grow, I planted both about 8 weeks ago and cant remember how I know when to lift them ?

(she suggested a day out to someone and I pointed out it had closed down two years ago)
So you were supposed to not say anything and let them have the trouble and expense of turning up there for nothing? Then you would have been in the wrong anyway, no doubt.

Popperwell

Angel_Jenny wrote: »

My grandma goes to U3A and it sounds amazing! She mainly goes for a chat but there are so many courses available.

I will just have to wait a few years until I am 55. It had better still be around in about 30 years!!

I'll swap you;)

With all the cutbacks and charities struggling you may be right.

Popperwell

Kidcat,
You come across well adjusted, friendly and are doing some really worthwhile care for your loved ones.

If you have friends coming out and supporting you as they seem to be take that as a positive sign of how people see you...

Angel_Jenny

Popperwell wrote: »

I'll swap you;)

With all the cutbacks and charities struggling you may be right.

I think I was born middle aged! I am in the WI and go to a knitting group but there are no classes or groups other than that around here.

Thinking of joining an art class just to get me out (I work full time and am a part time carer at home) but would prefer to go to quilting or jam making or dress making!

shelley_crow

fuddle wrote: »

At mother in laws for lunch and on my phone so apologies for any typos.

MIL fostered when she was younger and I had no clue. She's given me a lot to think about too. DH Would be comfortable with under 5's only and so would I while the girls are still just 7 and 3. We need to talk to the girls too as it would mean they would have to give up their play room. I can't foresee any other problems on their behalf, but they may just throw up something we hadnt thought of.

That age range is exceptionally hard to get approved for because everyone wants to look after younger kids. Generally they either get fostered for a very short time while introductions for adoption happen or during court cases when they are either returned to parents or not. Next to no children that age are fostered for very long unless there are behavioural or other issues which make them unsuitable candidates for adoption. You'll also find children in that age range will be kept with "in house" carers (working for Local Authority) so if you go to a fostering agency your chances will be less, meaning more gaps between placement and no income in the interim.

Contact arrangements for that age group are demanding too, especially for preschoolers and more so babies (generally contact each day at a contact centre/social services building for a few hours or more in a newborn's case, maybe after school and/or weekends for kids at school). So that throws up transport logistics, time away from home etc.

I'm not trying to put you off, just trying to give you a feel for the issues.

fuddle

I need to know these things. To be honest I am put off but that is no bad thing. An awful lot to think about but I think Mar is right is suggesting that child minding would be easier.

I have played 'keepy uppy' with the issues today. I hate to say it but I don't think fostering is for me. Is that a bad thing? I feel like I have so much to give but selfishly I am not prepared to alter the dynamics of my family. I feel like I want to give a vulnerable little one a home but I don't want all the heart ache that comes with that. I feel like I'm letting myself down. I feel like I have quit at the first hurdle.

My lunch at MIL's house was lovely. A welcome change and guess what... I had a glass of red wine! I started chatting a lot :rotfl: The girls and I picked all her ripe strawbs, she had a fair few! Fingers crossed for my patch next year.

Going to enjoy the swimming olympic events, have a hot choc and get knitting my socks.

I hope I haven't embarrassed myself today. I'm a bit ashamed and wished I hadn't said anything now.