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make do and mend for tougher times
Comments
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I said I wouldn't tell a soul but I need to share.
Last night DH and I had a discussion about my degree. I think we have all but agreed that I won't be continuing with it. I have so many practical skills and experience that I just don't feel having a degree will enhance. I am all about kids, it's who I am, who I was and wanted to be when I left school. That fun element of working with children soon developed into a wanting to help children. The childminding will be a super career for me but I want more too. Having worked with children who have very severe learning and behavioural difficulties, I miss the challenge element of working. Kidcat and others you're going to think I'm mad. I can't explain it very well but it's a feeling of working so hard with a child, putting your all into this little vulnerable human being but being rewarded when the little one progresses. It's process I have tapped into that I don't get from parenting. I need that challenge and reward aspect in my working life. It's very, very early days but we're discussing becoming fostering parents. DH is on board but we need to think about how it impacts our family life and as family is everything to us we need to be sure. There are many, many cons with the two pro's being I get my drive back into my working life, I get children all around me and we get a further income.
I've shared it now. I feel a little better. I plan to investigate further this afternoon so DH and I can have another discussion. It's an idea at present, something that we're going to take very slowly.0 -
My girls get £5 per week in cash and we pay for their mobiles, both on rolling 1 month contracts and if they abuse our rules for phone usage then the contract is cancelled until they can prove worthy again. They have to clean, dust and Hoover their own rooms weekly, change their beds, iron at least 10 items each a week and help with the dishes at least twice a week (they often don't more because we use that time to chat). When DD1 starts collage in September we are giving her £50 a month until she can get some part time work. That will need to cover all her clothes/ toiletries/make up/ socialising above the basics (we will supply underwear, jimjams etc and basic toiletries, if she wants the latest body spray or to dye her hair then she can fund it)."Start every day off with a smile and get it over with" - W. C. Field.0
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The Coop aren't too bad to bank with. UK call centres being the plus. Very slow to update online account and this is what ultimately made us leave the coop as when you have no overdraft (not allowed being bankrupt) you really need to watch with precision how much money is in the bank. I would myself in a muddle with their updating system. Another plus with the coop is that you can pay money and cheques into the post office.
If you phone the coop and set it up you can get live balances text to your phone which is a lifesaver.0 -
Thank you for sharing Fuddle. I know that you will go into this fully committed and you will know all that is required. But you do right to keep your plans close to your chest. On here at least you know you'll get support and help but to some extent you have anonimity."A government afraid of its citizens is a Democracy. Citizens afraid of government is tyranny!" ~Thomas Jefferson
"Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in" ~ Alan Alda0 -
Fuddle we were accepted as foster parents and were due our first placement when I we discovered I was pregnant with DS8, obviously we had to stop at that point as we needed the bedroom for the baby.
I do not think you are mad at all, what I would say is that it is incredibly hard, I have grown up with a number of families who fostered and now have a few friends who foster and all have had real difficulties when child move on, one eventually gave it all up when a child was returned to her family and then badly injured, she just couldnt take it any more.
The other impact is upon your own children because it does impact heavily, most cared for children need alot more time and energy than other children which takes your time away from your own. Even if its simply the extra meetings required for their care plan.
Having two children who require alot of extra care I often feel very guilty about the other two who I feel sometimes get less attention than the boys.
I do not want to put you off simply try to give you a realistic idea of what you face, if you can manage all the pitfalls its a very rewarding job. One of my current friends fosters and she is clear that it is her job, she wont consider anything else as its her coping mechanism. She even insists on her cared for children being taken away for two weeks while her and her own children holiday. She has a holiday with the cared for kids too but she says as a family they need time for themselves and she insists on taking it.
Oh my that all sounds so negative and its not supposed to at all. Personally my advice would be to go ahead with your childminding, as it will teach you skills that you can use in fostering and will also help you gauge how you feel about having other children in your home interacting with your kids.
Pocket money - I dont do I'm afraid, if the kids need money for stuff then I try to give it to them but some weeks there just isnt enough left to hand a required amount out to fritter on games and sweets, which I know makes me sound hard but its a struggle just keeping everyone fed and warm without adding pressure.0 -
Just had another downpour and sheets of water down the bedroom window. I know another poster had similar weather not so long ago and as a few on here live in the same county and within a few miles of each other it's been or it's coming.
I won't make a habit of it but the only lottery I do(and I only do it when it reaches silly money)is the Euromillions(especially when over a year it costs £208)which could be used elsewhere or I may not have in the future.
I won on Friday...all of£2.80
"A government afraid of its citizens is a Democracy. Citizens afraid of government is tyranny!" ~Thomas Jefferson
"Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in" ~ Alan Alda0 -
Many valid points Kidcat and it's not really a case of being negative, just stating how it is or might be. You put points for both sides. And even when difficult that it can still be rewarding."A government afraid of its citizens is a Democracy. Citizens afraid of government is tyranny!" ~Thomas Jefferson
"Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in" ~ Alan Alda0 -
Time to find me again0
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Not negative at all kidcat I need to read about the negativities of it all. There's no good going into something like this with rose coloured glasses. I know I can cope with children who have difficulties, what I don't know if I can cope with is those difficulties occurring around my children and in my home. So much to think about and learn.
It will be my job, a 24/7 job but still my job. To some extent I have had a taster of having to switch off at 3pm when a child you have rapport with, spent all day being positive around and helping gain some independence, goes back to a home that we all know is not a healthy environment to the child to be in. Am I strong enough mentally/emotionally? I don't know. Like I say, so much to think about. Thank you0 -
Guess it means the next tickets are free...
If and it is if I won enough great. If it was silly money I would allow for the tax. Let the interest build and live off that. Hopefully give to charity and yes on the quiet help posters on here...I could not help all so that's why it would have to be done anonymously.
I would avoid publicity and as I have few relatives I could probably manage to stay unknown..."A government afraid of its citizens is a Democracy. Citizens afraid of government is tyranny!" ~Thomas Jefferson
"Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in" ~ Alan Alda0
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