Separation, Divorce and a new relationship

BitterAndTwisted

If she's not interested in living together and only marriage would be an option I would strongly suggest that you make it plain that it's not going to be likely at all within the next five years or so. Then judge her reaction to that news. If she's serious about your relationship and she's a keeper she should understand your position. If she's unhappy with that, she's probably a gold-digger.

You could ask her to sell her house in Poland and put any cash realised into your house when you re-mortgage together splitting ownership according the the percentage of equity put into it. That might be a way of separating the wheat from the chaff.

whitewing

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

If she's not interested in living together and only marriage would be an option I would strongly suggest that you make it plain that it's not going to be likely at all within the next five years or so. Then judge her reaction to that news. If she's serious about your relationship and she's a keeper she should understand your position. If she's unhappy with that, she's probably a gold-digger.

QUOTE]

Depending on her age. Personally, I knew I wanted to get married. I would have waited maybe 2 - 3 years but not 5.

Like your other idea about selling the polish house.

warwicktiger

whitewing wrote: »

I think she sounds very sensible and knows her own mind.

The comment about kids interests me. Is it you who will not have more children or her?

My husband would have happily not had a child of his own, and I didn't really want any more, however, I felt I could not be with him if it meant depriving him of the chance of being a natural father (physically not being able to have children would be a different matter). Now our daughter is here, he is delighted.

I am 54, had a vascectomy, she is 50. She has two daughters in their early 20's in Poland