Separation, Divorce and a new relationship

warwicktiger

Would be grateful for comments and advice please.

My wife and I separated in July 2010, sorted out all finances and possessions in a business like way (No children) and in November 2010 Signed a separation agreement effected on the completion date of my house purchase. I moved out, she bought me out as she is the higher earner. I bought a house, with a small mortgage which I am repaying from my earnings, I have around £130K equity in the house.

Fast forward, April 2012 after several failed attempts I met someone I had been talking to over the internet that I am getting on really well with. There are issues, of course from our pasts but we have reached a point where her moving in, and also the Marriage word has been mentioned.

She has no house and little or no savings, and is from Poland, has been in the UK for five years.

If she were to move in do I have to tell the bank holding the mortgage, and if so what are the ramifications?

If we were to marry (after my two year separation expires) would she be entitled to 50% of the joint assets in the event of a future split?

Sorry if this sounds unromantic, just that after being a house owner not a renter all my life I cannot afford to lose half the equity in my house.

BitterAndTwisted

If the mortgage is in your name and only your name is on the deeds you don't have to tell the mortgage-lender anything if you decide to invite someone to come and live with you: lodger or lover.

Whether she would be entitled to a share of your assets after a future split is generally dependent on how long the marriage lasted. Courts often take the view that after the end of a "short relationship" ( two years or less, or thereabouts) both parties should return to the financial state they were in before marriage. In a marriage of a longer duration you could risk gifting her 50% as that is precisely the point of joining together in a marriage: "with all my worldly goods I thee endow" etcetera etcetera.

If you are absolutely certain that you do not want to risk losing any of the equity in your home or any of your other assets you should not have any partner move in with you at all. Ever. Should you choose to have this person living with you while you're not married you should ensure that you NEVER take a penny from them which could later be construed as them paying you rent. 50% of Council Tax, utility and grocery-bills: OK if you can prove it. No funds towards decorating, repairs or improvements. No sums of money for furniture. No expensive holidays in lieu of rent. Nothing.

Gigglepig

warwicktiger wrote: »

Fast forward, April 2012 after several failed attempts I met someone I had been talking to over the internet that I am getting on really well with. There are issues, of course from our pasts but we have reached a point where her moving in, and also the Marriage word has been mentioned.

It is good that you are planning up front, if you only just met in April 2012 perhaps it is a good idea to get to know this person a little better before you consider moving in/marrying? Just saying.

There are so many stories on this board of things not turning out too well and perhaps some of the sad stories could have been avoided if people took their time to truly get to know their partners character & circumstances before shacking up with someone.

BitterAndTwisted

If you've only been having a relationship with this woman for two months or so I would suggest, in the strongest terms possible, that it's altogether far too soon to be thinking about moving in together, never mind marriage. I wonder how she would respond if you told her that you'd not countenance living together or marriage unless you'd known each other for a couple of years at the very least?

What is it that they say: "marry in haste, repent at leisure"?

StuC75

I would say that if she was to move in then I would say have contribute to the bills & day to day expenses - but not to mortgage or household maintanence..

What you could suggest is to say save up what you she would be paying in rent; then if you were to buy somewhere together down the line that would form her part of the deposit - with your house forming your part...

warwicktiger

Thanks for the comments, all interesting and useful. As a point of interest she, not I mentioned marriage. Yes, it is early, there will be no summer wedding this year!

Errata

Fast forward, April 2012 after several failed attempts I met someone I had been talking to over the internet that I am getting on really well with. There are issues, of course from our pasts but we have reached a point where her moving in, and also the Marriage word has been mentioned.

Treat her to a wet week in a caravan in Cleethorpes on a strict budget; it will allow her character, personality and temperament to come shining through.

good_vibes

Hahaha Errata, that's a great idea
How many times have you met her? You said you have been talking over the internet.

BitterAndTwisted

They've been talking over the internet, have known each other for barely five minutes and she's the one who's raised the subject of marriage? Put the ruddy brakes on, and hard!

good_vibes

Might be worth googling "honeymoon period" too

littlerat

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

They've been talking over the internet, have known each other for barely five minutes and she's the one who's raised the subject of marriage? Put the ruddy brakes on, and hard!

Yep, this. I rarely comment on such threads but enormous red flags.

Is she about to lose her right to live in the UK..?