Daughter buying lunch for skint school friend.

peachyprice

IMO, this is one of the drawbacks of the cashless system. If there is a minimum top up limit in place, £10 per child in our case, parents who are in genuine hardship living day to day who may have been able to scramble together at least some dinner money here and there every day are forced to find £10 in one hit.

For some disorganised this households this just doesn't work. I know it should, but not all parents are very good at budgeting and it's the childrenwho suffer the consequence.

peachyprice

londonsurrey wrote: »

It's nice that your daughter is being thoughtful, but you don't want it to be effortless.

So, can you afford sandwiches for the friend too? If so, I'd suggest that you give your daughter enough money for one person's lunch each month.
And then make available the makings of a packed lunch.

Your daughter then has the option of
- buying lunch for just one person
- buying lunch for two people, and then taking in a packed lunch for the remaining days.

She has the option of making the packed lunches herself, or inviting her friend over to help with making the packed lunches.

What's the difference? OP is still paying to feed someone else's child which just isn't right and packed lunches aren't cheap.

12sapphire

I work in a school and we've had cases where children were being bullied into buying extra lunches (thankfully, few and far between.) If you're certain this is not the case, that's OK!

However, I can assure you that if a child is being neglected at home the school will WANT to know and I urge you to tell your daughter's Head of Year/Pastoral Manager. They will talk to the girl involved sympathetically and will be in a far better position to be able to help the entire family.

CL

What age is your daughter? When we were about 15 one of the girls brought a packed lunch and told her mum we were all hungry/loved her sandwiches and brought in enough for a couple of us. We used to save our dinner money for cider on a Friday night (we all grew up to be very good girls though!)

Maybe the friend gets cash for dinner and her and your daughter are spending it on something they don't want you to know about (cigarettes or drink?)

We are all 32 now and still best friends LOL.

toejumper

I work in schools with this system, Its worth contacting the school and get to the bottom of this, you could also ask the school for a print out of what she has bought over the past few weeks. also consider is she being bullied into buying cookies drinks etc for other people, is the other child giving her the cash for the things shes buying, the school will make sure the other child if fed, all schools have a policy that no child should go without a meal and they will foot the bill and contact there parents to see if theres any problems at home with finances etc

amus

If this family are not feeding any of their children properly surely it is neglect and an issue for SS?

There's a difference between being disorganised and consistently letting your children go hungry!

BitterAndTwisted

There's probably something else going on rather than parents neglecting to provide a lunch or money for lunch.

Perhaps the child is expected to prepare her own packed lunch and just can't be bothered because bludging off her friend is easier and doesn't mean having to get up 20 minutes earlier in the mornings?

GobbledyGook

There's too much scope for this to be left imo.

The parents could neglecting the children.
The parents could be in serious financial bother and be letting it go whilst no-one is saying anything.
The OP's daughter could be getting conned or bullied.
The other child could be getting bullied and having her lunch or lunch money stolen.

It needs to be brought to the attention of the school so that the cause can be found.

peachyprice

GobbledyGook wrote: »

.
The other child could be getting bullied and having her lunch or lunch money stolen.

This is one of the reason that schools use this system.

The children don't get cash, the parents have to log on and pay by credit/debit card, send a cheque to the school or pay by paypoint in a local shop. The dinner ladies won't accept cash even if the girl did have it.

So you see, for a disorganised/cash strapped parent it has the potential to be an absolute nightmare.

schoolrunmum

You have all given me lots to think about-thanks. FWIW, they are all 13-14, and there is no doubt in my mind she is being coerced into it...she just being kind. I know the family has money problems...they are quite open about it, she is not being given cash for lunch that is being spent on fags/booze. If you saw her you'd understand! 4ft nothing and about 4 stone, wears clothes for age 7 yr old!