surprise wedding help

I_wanna_live_for_free

If it were me I would say no. Sanctimonious arrogant git. Refusing to marry and then changing his mind... God's Gift, definitely. :eek:

Let him do his own research. You're just pandering to his arrogance and making it seem like it's a thing that normal people want and do.

Which it isn't. Most if not all brides love the preparation and build up to the wedding day. To have that taken away "because she really wants to be married " to such a self-centred man beggars belief!

Hope whichever venue is chosen has incredibly wide doors... He'll need it to get his oversized head and ego out!

t_obermory

You can't get married without one of the parties knowing before hand. If you're getting married in a registry office you both have to go before the event to have an interview with the registrar to prove you are who you say you are and the marriage is genuine. If you're getting married in church as far as I'm aware you have to meet with the vicar to do a similar thing then attend church a certain number of times before the day.

Personally I'd have thought it would be better for him to go the whole hog with a surprise proposal then they can plan the day together. As the other posters have said most women are going to want to know about their big day before hand even if its just to pick their dress out themselves.

Pollycat

iwanttosavemoney2008 wrote: »

I know none of you know the couple in question and are basing your opinions on what you yourself or what you think most people would prefer, however i do know the couple and i know she would love this they way he has planned, maybe i didn't word it correctly because a lot of you have taken great offence at it.

they are not spring chickens, and they have both been round the block a few times, they are very much in every way a married couple just without the paperwork.

like i said the people around them know this would be perfect for her and she would enjoy every second of it. i asked for advice on how to go about doing this as i know he will need help to make it a reality not opinions on whether it was right or wrong because for this couple it is right.

People haven't taken 'great offence'.

I notice you've posted this on the Weddings board now.
74jax has posted on both threads referring you to either the church or Registrar to see if this is possible.

This is a forum, you may only get opinions on whether this (imho truly bizarre) idea is possible or not.
In addition, you will get people giving their opinions on the idea of planning a wedding where the bride is ignorant of the fact that it's her wedding until the last minute.
That's the nature of public forums.

You (or your uncle) need to ask the people who know.
That will be either at a church or a Register Office.

The Registrar will tell you if this is possible:

iwanttosavemoney2008 wrote: »

my idea was that he take her to get the certificate a day or two before the day getting a special licence (she would not know it was a special licence then think there would be at least 15 days before the wedding and as the banns last for a year she would not know when the date was unless they set one) then after the 1 days clear notice (that you get with a special licence) they could have the wedding he planned straight away.

does anyone have any ideas like this that could be practicable??

globetraveller

I can well believe your uncle has the best of intentions. Whilst you are certain she would love to be married, you might find she will be far from happy of not getting the chance to dress as she would want for her own wedding, and also your uncle may well miss an invite to someone who she would really want there. He is actually just hogging the day, even if he doesn't realise it.
Why not work on a really romantic proposal? This may be your best bet as it would seem from others that she won't be able to be surprised by her own wedding.

sassyblue

iwanttosavemoney2008 wrote: »

like i said the people around them know this would be perfect for her and she would enjoy every second of it. i asked for advice on how to go about doing this as i know he will need help to make it a reality not opinions on whether it was right or wrong because for this couple it is right.

Hmmm...... arrogance appears to be a family trait. I'm not sure it's very romantic at all - it's still your uncle calling the shots - controlling, much?

Why would your uncle want to deny the woman who's wanted to marry him for so long the chance to create HER perfect wedding? Choose HER dress, ring or her flowers. These are very important things to most brides. I feel sorry for her.

The most perfect thing to do would be for your uncle to propose to her now and let her have the day of BOTH of their dreams.

antrobus

iwanttosavemoney2008 wrote: »

My uncle is trying to do the most romantic thing he has ever done. he is wanting to surprise his girlfriend with a wedding.....

Are all your family that crazy?

No, your uncle can't arrange a 'surprise wedding'.

It is a legal requirement to give notice in advance of marriage or civil partnership....You both must give notice in person - no one else can do it on your behalf.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/governmentcitizensandrights/registeringlifeevents/marriagesandcivilpartnerships/dg_175717

Alikay

I don't think it's romantic - to me it just seems controlling. He has withheld from marrying her for 15 years, and has now changed his mind but by planning it secretly isn't allowing her any input whatsoever.

Rockporkchop

If he sprung that on me, I would tell him to shove his wedding up his backside. I wouldn't put up with someone who "refused" to marry me for 15 years though. Why is he doing this now I wonder? I am betting it's financially beneficial to him in some way.

Margaret52129

I had friends who lived like this and were no longer spring chickens. He'd always said he didn't want to marry (never had been before), but she'd had 3 previous marriages (2 divorce and 1 died). They were very happy together and had got engaged. Then she when she was arranging her 60th birthday he said he would like to giver her something she'd always wanted - to marry her for her 60th birthday present!

They kept it secret from everyone and only announced it at her birthday party (making it a joint celebration). So she got her wish but they arranged it together. It was very romantic for them, and a lovely suprise for us all.

Kiboko

It strikes me that your uncle may have had a bad marriage previously? Thereby being anti marriage rather than refusing marriage to his gf, as time has gone by he may have realised that marriage to her would be a very different thing rather than a sudden change of heart towards her. Still don't think a surprise wedding is such a good thing, but I'm not assuming he's a git Maybe a lovely 'surprise' proposal is more appropriate.