surprise wedding help

onlyroz

If somebody arranged any kind of surprise party for me I would be mortified and humiliated. If that party was a wedding then the feeling would be compounded 100-fold. I urge you to persuade your uncle to rethink his grand plan, which sounds dubious on legal grounds in any case.

skintchick

I think that after fifteen years of waiting this lady deserves to get e pleasure and excitement of planning her own wedding day the way she wants it to be.

Toomuchdebt

Well I'll be the one lone dissenting voice here and say I would LOVE it if it happened to me No stress about guests,dresses,flowers etc. (Guests are easily enough sorted out-all you need to do is say who would you invite if you were getting married...just as a casual conversation).I've been married before and hated every second of the run up to the wedding...would much rather have thought I was going to someone else's wedding(could have got changed into a wedding dress once I found out it was my own wedding) and find out it was mine.LOL. So there you go, some people would love a surprise wedding

Kittendreich

Why doesn't he propose and plan (with her) a small, low key wedding - then surprise her with a big reception. She would then know it was her wedding (and be able to give proper consent etc). He would know she had all the things (people, dress etc) that were really important to her - and it would be easy to have a conversation about 'if we had a bigger budget what would you love to do' - he can then arrange her dream wedding as a surprise (i.e. things she didn't think they could afford, people she didn't think could be there etc).

I wouldn't like it personally, but hopefully he knows his wife (to be) well enough and has chosen this approach as something she would appreciate...

pinkclouds

antrobus wrote: »

No, your uncle can't arrange a 'surprise wedding'.

It is a legal requirement to give notice in advance of marriage or civil partnership....You both must give notice in person - no one else can do it on your behalf.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/governmentcitizensandrights/registeringlifeevents/marriagesandcivilpartnerships/dg_175717

^Agree with the above advice. I don't think a surprise wedding is legally possible... in this country.

I'd suggest either a surprise engagement party or church blessing. Then they can complete the marriage at a later date.

Alternatively, he could spring for a surprise trip to Vegas. No banns necessary and get married the same day. Assuming he can get his hands on all the relevant paperwork without alerting her - passports, visas, decree absolute (if she was previously married), etc.

Pee

Have you contacted the registrar or a vicar or someone similiar to find out what is possible? I'd love to know.

I think there is a very valid point about getting hair done etc. It might be an idea for him to book her a hair appointment for earlier that day and let the hairdresser in on the secret?

POPPYOSCAR

Toomuchdebt wrote: »

Well I'll be the one lone dissenting voice here and say I would LOVE it if it happened to me No stress about guests,dresses,flowers etc. (Guests are easily enough sorted out-all you need to do is say who would you invite if you were getting married...just as a casual conversation).I've been married before and hated every second of the run up to the wedding...would much rather have thought I was going to someone else's wedding(could have got changed into a wedding dress once I found out it was my own wedding) and find out it was mine.LOL. So there you go, some people would love a surprise wedding

You are not alone.

I would love it as well.

I have no interest in buying a wedding dress etc.etc. etc. to just turn up and suddenly be getting married would be heaven for me.

ljbnotts

From a legal Point of view as a Registrar, this is not legally possible. She would need to give notice of marriage and she would need to consent to the wedding. This is to help cut down on sham marriages or where one party is being forced in to marriage.

Also another point is that they would not be able to apply for a 'Special Licence' to cut the waiting time down as these are only available in specific sets of circumstances (If one party was dying and couldn't be moved out of hospital etc).

Hope that Helps.

Seanymph

It is possible, although I have no idea how he did it my ex FIL did it on his g/f's 50th wedding anniversary - she thought it was a celebration at a hotel and it was a wedding he'd organised having refused to for years and being certain she'd love it as a 'gift'.

They were seperated within about 18 months.

Although she did want to be married, he hadn't included her children in ways she would have wanted them included, his children had been part of the planning in ways she wouldn't have involved them (for example I did the cake on request from the FIL)....... and she was devastated that she didn't have the opportunity to 'get ready' in the way she would have loved to and enjoy it.

I'm afraid she too found it controlling.

His children and he were as certain as you are now that it would be a lovely surprise. But they were wrong.