Money, TTC, Morals and in need of advice.

Gillyx

quintwins wrote: »

Very true, we manage no matter whats thrown at us (same goes for dads btw)


My boys had the same bottle issue, however i was forwarded, so i had several different types in anyway, in the end they would only take the mam newborn teats, and then cheapy bottles with similar teats so worked well for me in terms of cost, however you can easily get away with 2 bottles, one on the go and one in the sterilser should you need it (not that i'd want to but you could, infalcol worked well for my twins and we had no issue getting it on script, i find dr's alot more helpful that health visitors/midwifes when it comes to presciptions.

Yeah Dad's too we needed the mam bottles because of the air vent things in the bottom, really helped with wind/colic. I'm not complaining, I'd spend my last penny on him, but I think the pressures of having a new born (especially if it's your first) and if you're scrimping, it's not easy, we've been there. Infacol & Colief are different as far as I'm aware, co-lief actually goes into the bottles and reduces the lactose. The doctor here prescribed it for us, but I know one of the other ladies I speak to on here, her health trust didn't as it could be bought over the counter. Infacol made his bottom wind a lot worse, and the doc said that's quite common. I know of some people that have spent nothing, because of getting things on the cheap or given to them and that's amazing, unfortunately for us, we were one of the first to start having kids so no one really had anything to give us

Funnily enough start up costs aren't bad, I find it's the things that crop up that tend to cost the most. Also if you have a winter baby your heating will more than likely go up, even slightly.

quintwins

Gillyx wrote: »

Funnily enough start up costs aren't bad, I find it's the things that crop up that tend to cost the most. Also if you have a winter baby your heating will more than likely go up, even slightly.

Funny you should say that, i never had heat when i lived on m own, it's all oil heating here and i couldn't afford a fill of oil for 3 years i had no heating even in the snow other than a wee elec heater, once we had our kids i'm never without oil just incase, i put money aside for it and as soon as it gets low or we run out it's refilled that day, my kids will never go cold while i have a say in it.

We were also the first of any of our friends and familys to have kids so very few handme downs (and i hadn't yet really discovered the wonders on the internet since i couldn't afford it either) however the gifts we received were shocking like £300 of adams vouchers and a shocking amount of clothes. my granny offered to buy my pram, my mil our moses baskets (and with my 2nd child my pram aswell) and my mum bought my cots, we found lots of people asking us what big things we needed as people prefer to buy or contribute to something you need rather than yet more clothes.

chirpychick

We live off £17k a year, we also pay a 1k mortgage every month so to say money is tight is an understatement.
We are expecting our first baby, it took 5 years to get pregnant with a viable baby and up until a year ago I was working but had to stop due to various reasons.
Everyone told me that babies don't have to cost much, but they really do!
Even with my dad buying a pushchair and getting everything except cot and car seat second hand we are only just managing.
I will have to formula feed and the cost of that is huge.
thankfully i picked up cheap reusable 2nd hand nappies.
Personally i am over the moon to be having a baby after much heartache, but if i could do it all over again, id have a job even just something small part time.
So that is what I would say to you.
It isn't nice wondering if you're going to be able to afford a car seat in time for coming back from hospital etc.

pinkclouds

chirpychick wrote: »

We live off £17k a year, we also pay a 1k mortgage every month so to say money is tight is an understatement.
We are expecting our first baby, it took 5 years to get pregnant with a viable baby and up until a year ago I was working but had to stop due to various reasons.
Everyone told me that babies don't have to cost much, but they really do!
Even with my dad buying a pushchair and getting everything except cot and car seat second hand we are only just managing.
I will have to formula feed and the cost of that is huge.
thankfully i picked up cheap reusable 2nd hand nappies.
Personally i am over the moon to be having a baby after much heartache, but if i could do it all over again, id have a job even just something small part time.
So that is what I would say to you.
It isn't nice wondering if you're going to be able to afford a car seat in time for coming back from hospital etc.

^I'm sorry things are difficult for you. But I think your answer is invaluable to the OP. It's very much a balancing act between money and Mother Nature. You can only defer your options for so long... And then it may become a question of which scenario would you be happier in - A or B.

I don't want to pry but if the formula milk is because of any medical issues - yourself or baby - is there any chance you could get a sympathetic doctor to prescribe it? Alternatively, if baby is healthy, one of my friends weaned her baby at 10 months with no ill effects. (Weaned on to cow milk, I mean.) I wouldn't advocate blanket early weaning but if you felt your baby was ready at an early age... Just saying. x

FatVonD

Can't quite believe I'm about to say this but, once you have a child you will eligible for tax credits, why not take a trip to the site and put in your husband's wage and a pretend offspring to see what you would be entitled to?

I wouldn't normally be encouraging somebody onto benefits but as someone who left conceiving until it was too late (naturally, that is) I am fully aware that mother nature smiles more favourably on those physically in the best position to have a baby, not financially.

Without wishing to impose anything on you, the costs of formula/bottles would be much reduced if you were to breast feed.

*Lights blue touch paper and runs*

Pee

As someone else who left it too late, I would say if you are sure that it is what you want and your partner is sure too, then go ahead.

Someone mentioned the pressure on him if he is the sole bread winner, and this is an important issue to address and get his opinion on.

Having said that one of my friends who could never hold down a job as a single man really pulled out the stops when his son was born and really took to the responsibility.

You are young enough to wait a bit, though, if you do decide to.

littlewhiteowl

Just want to say thank you to everyone that has posted. They have all been invaluable to me and given me lots to think about.
I would love to breast feed so that would take the cost of formula down, As a couple of you have pointed out, obviously i would LOVE to be in work first hence the dilemma. I feel bad even thinking it but i am starting to wonder (whilst avidly looking for work) If working say part time (in any job, as much as id want to) would cover the cost of childcare? Does anyone have any opinions on that part?

Gillyx

R.e the breast feeding, I wanted more than anything to breast feed, nothing to do with cost, and I tried and tried and tried, my son wouldn't latch and I think honestly half of Ireland have seen my boobs, he was checked for tongue tie, I had midwives, doctors, Health visitors, breast feeding support people, all try and fail to get him to latch. In the end he wouldn't have been able to be breast fed due to an intolerance, and the milk he is now prescribed is as far removed from a cow as you can get :rotfl: I expressed for around 4 weeks. So even with best intentions it may not go to plan for everyone.

quintwins

littlewhiteowl wrote: »

Just want to say thank you to everyone that has posted. They have all been invaluable to me and given me lots to think about.
I would love to breast feed so that would take the cost of formula down, As a couple of you have pointed out, obviously i would LOVE to be in work first hence the dilemma. I feel bad even thinking it but i am starting to wonder (whilst avidly looking for work) If working say part time (in any job, as much as id want to) would cover the cost of childcare? Does anyone have any opinions on that part?

Imo, no you would really need to be working full time, or in a very high paid job, if you work less than 16 hrs you won't be entitled to any help with childcare from tax credits, working minium wage you could be working for £2 an hr or less, thats before you take into account transport and lunch ect, also you may find once your baby is here you don't want to go back to work straight away.

Best of luck to you i really hope you find the right solution for your family.

FatVonD

According to the calculator I just found on a salary of £13,000 with a child under 12 months you would be entitled to just over £5,000 per year in tax credits (plus child benefit of aROUND £70 PER MONTH?)

Oops, apologies for caps