Right to temporary custody of son whilst Mother is absent from UK

Ames

Do you really think that ten days with a scared and confused little boy is worth ruining your relationship with him forever?

He's going to be away from his mum, and getting ready for a big move. Then a man he's only used to seeing for an hour at a time every few weeks takes him to a house he's never been in for ten days full time? Do you really think he'll ever want to see you again after that?

Mrs_Imp

Toomuchdebt wrote: »

I would ask myself why she feels the need to spirit him away in the first place and why the access was so little. I have always allowed my kids dads(yes 2 of them, one marriage one long term relationship)access whenever they liked, even abroad.I would only limit access if there was a problem. My friend's ex husband has been granted 3 hours a week unsupervised, and that was after domestic violence, so there must be something more that you're not telling us.

Unfortunately, you're assuming that all mothers are as nice as you. I have met one who has said outright 'I don't want my kids, but I'd do anything to stop their Dad seeing them' And she did - not turning up at agreed times, arranging for the kids to be 'out' when their Dad had agreed access, moving to a different part of the country with the kids without telling anyone, preventing the children seeing their grandparents, just in case the Dad called while they were there. There was no domestic violence, no abuse, no problems with the Dad, except that the mother hated him and the children were her weapon of choice to hurt him.

OP you need to get some legal advice, and you also need to know what your son wants to do. He might jump at the chance of spending a few days with you, or he might be a bit more reticent. You need to base your actions on his wants and needs. And from now on, be proactive. Then when your son asks what you did to try and see him, you can tell him, rather than go 'umm...errrr...well'

Davey0001

Just in case anyone was wondering - I have spent 24 hours now going through all my files and working out the facts.
It's funny how your mind blocks things.
I've got copies of emails and letters going back year after year of me trying to gain access via multiple avenues.
I think those naysayers who suggest that because I'm denied access that this in some way implies I must be guilty of something just simply don't understand the plight of Fathers within the legal system right now.
Also - any argument which suggests that because I haven't had access means that I shouldn't have access is just folding in on itself.
I need contact and indeed should have a basic civil liberty to have that contact.
If I were female then this thread would read very differently.
I WILL fight to see my son and shame on those of you who have suggested that I am at fault for doing so.
I can only think perhaps your own partners were less passionate about their families. And no wonder.

Gigglepig

I don't think anyone thinks you are at fault for trying to obtain more contact through courts. But you are talking about kidnaping your own son, and trying to justify this with not being able to obtain contact through other avenues. It does not make you sound like a balanced individual with their son's best interest in mind.

tattycath

FBaby wrote: »

Your answer lies here. Whatever the reasons why you didn't take it to court sooner, the results are there. You have had no contact with your child for about 7 years. Your child doesn't know you. 6 supervised visits doesn't make for a relationship and your son doesn't need you now more than he did when he was 2 or 3 years old.

The fact that you are considering taking your son for 10 days is extremely selfish and can only result in him wanting nothing at all to do with you forever. He is reaching the age when his wishes will be taken into consideration. Remember, it is not about what YOU want, but what is best for your child.

Accept that you failed him by waiting so long to do all in your power to reastablished contact and therefore accept that it will take time with a lot of hard work against you. How far is your ex moving? Can you agree to go and visit there once a month? Whatever you do, don't give your ex, even less your son, a good reason to stop contact for good.

If what the OP is saying is true, then it 's a pity no one is telling/has told the mother the bit out of this quote I've put in bold. Unfortunately some ex's do use the children as weapons-I have seen this firsthand. Some ex's do try to cut the other parent out of the lives of their children-for no reason other than their own selfishness.

To the OP i hope you manage to sort out this mess and try to get a rottweiler of a solicitor who won't take any cr*p from your ex. Good luck.

lazer

I think this thread would have had very different responses too if it was a woman had posted the following:

My childs dad is moving out of the country for a year, and is taking my child with him. For 10 days before he goes, he is leaving our child with a friend instead of me and I want to spend time with my son as i won't get to see him much for the next year. Can I stop him leaving the child with a friend as i want him with me?

The response then would probably have been - he can't take your child out of the country, of cousre the child should be with you.

No-one would have questioned how often you ahd seen the child or why etc.

OP is right, it is not just the law that is against fathers, it is public perception as well!

tattycath

lazer wrote: »

I think this thread would have had very different responses too if it was a woman had posted the following:

My childs dad is moving out of the country for a year, and is taking my child with him. For 10 days before he goes, he is leaving our child with a friend instead of me and I want to spend time with my son as i won't get to see him much for the next year. Can I stop him leaving the child with a friend as i want him with me?

The response then would probably have been - he can't take your child out of the country, of cousre the child should be with you.

No-one would have questioned how often you ahd seen the child or why etc.

OP is right, it is not just the law that is against fathers, it is public perception as well!

Totally agree with this post.

FBaby

Maybe the nrp had planned this move before OP came back into the picture. I think if a woman came here and said she had no contact with her child for years but now wanted to take the child for 10 days because SHE needed it the response would be just the same.

geoffky

Beware of causing trauma to your son...do it all by the legal route.