Right to temporary custody of son whilst Mother is absent from UK

Davey0001

Hello,

I have a son aged 8. I am on the Birth Certificate. I was not married to his Mother. I do have Parental Responsibility.

I have been locked in an access battle with my ex for a year. She had blocked all access and is now only allowing 1 hour per month supervised. Cafcass haven't supported this ongoing supervised situation but Mother continues to insist on it.

Now my ex has applied for permission to remove our son from the country for a year.

I am not contesting this application directly (as it seems like court will probably grant it anyway, and Mother has already told my son and got him excited about it so if I block I will be made out to be the bad guy), but I am attempting to get some conditions agreed in my favour such as extended access, mandatory return visits etc

I have now discovered that Mother is leaving the country for her year abroad on July 31st but is not taking my son with her. He is flying out with a friend of my ex 10 days later on Aug 10th.

My question is this...

As soon as my ex leaves the country without my son, does my Parental Responsibility really kick in and therefore make me the legal guardian of our son?

If he is staying with my ex's friend, is there anything stopping me from just going round to that house and demanding my son?

Will the police back me if I show my passport and a copy of sons birth certificate?

I would of course return my son to allow for his travel abroad. I am not looking to 'kidnap' (for want of a better word) him, just have a week of access prior to his year away.

I realise that this action my count against me later on, but time is running out for me and my son. Once the time has passed it has passed. If I follow the 'proper' way of doing things I won't be having a relationship with my son.

Many thanks in advance

rhianna99

Im not sure where you stand, but id imagine that if the court has ordered you can only have supervised contact due to mother's wishes then that will still stand. I believe you would have to apply for the court to change it. Also, this is likely to be an emotional time for your child and if you go to the friends house demanding to take him, police involved etc, what effect do you think this will have on him?

Davey0001

No... it turns out the court has not ordered supervised access at all. I got bamboozled into this as Mother has been playing games with the system.
I have a contact order for 1 hour a month. No mention of supervised.
However - once Mother is out of country I surely then am legally responsible for my child. Therefore I should be going and getting him.

fluffnutter

You have, on court agreement (I assume), one hour's supervised access per month with your son. I appreciate that you're his father but that doesn't really seem the best background for turning up with police in tow and demanding your son full time for 10 days.

Seriously, you can't go from 1 hour a month (with supervision) to 10 days straight full time with no one else around. It would be completely inappropriate. AFAIK, the court order is quite separate to any parental responsibility that you have (which comes automatically if you're on the birth certificate and your child was born after 2005 anyway) and you don't suddenly become solely responsible for your child simply because his mother is away.

If you want a relationship with your son, unfortunately you have no other choice than to do it the 'proper' way. Like you say, anything else could completely scupper your future chances. But more than that, you're going to freak the !!!! out of your poor boy if you turn up 'demanding' him.

rhianna99

Ok, im not sure, could you see a solicitor in advance and find out your rights, You could probably get a free initial half hour. Before you do anything, you need to consider your child's needs and feelings, is this whats best for him?, I know it may seem that an extra week with dad must only be a good thing, but you have admitted yourself this may cause problems in the future, making it more difficult to see your son. Your ex may use that against you, saying she is scared you will take him again, or not return him.

Davey0001

My ex is using anything against me anyway - much of it made up.

fluffnutter

If you have a contact order, I'm going to assume that you don't share legal custody of your son. The following is based on that assumption, but it would be useful if you could confirm.

If you do want (and are able to obtain) access with your son for this period, you know his mother's going to need to agree, don't you? You can't just wait until she's out of the country, then go and demand him. She has sole custody, therefore it's up to her who he stays with when she's not around.

If she doesn't agree, then what? If you take your son without his mother's permission, parental responsibility or not, this won't be viewed favourably by anyone.

Davey0001

No - she doesn't at present have a residency order, so technically we're still sharing legal custody.

fluffnutter

OK, get yourself some legal advice and see where you go from there then.

Cat501

Is it quite common for courts to set contact orders at 1 hour a month?

It seems very little.....

Davey0001

Yes I know - it's been hell. My ex just wouldn't budge an inch. She refsued to talk to me about it. Refused to attend Mediation. Refused to attend court. She's blocked all access for years and is now using my lack of access as a weapon against me.
I understand that some people may think that I would be doing the wrong thing - but this is my relationship with my son. It just has to happen.