work not letting me drop a shift so i can look after new baby

poet123

I think backlash against working parents is increasing because the legislation allows a minority to take the michael.

One of my sons works on a small team, one of that team is on her third lot of maternity leave in 4 years and each time she has worked no longer than three weeks between them. Then they have to fight for leave in school hols and Christmas, and the single childless are right at the bottom of that pile. He badly wanted to go skiing with some friends in Feb half term (they are teachers) but he couldn't get the time off as the parents took priority. Those kinds of issues do foster resentment.

duchy

When my son was small I don't think I was ever asked to work a family unfriendly shift like Christmas day-and I appreciated it and would offer to work the more single friendly shifts when I could.

Now my son is "grown up" I volunteer Christmas day, Boxing day and try not to apply for holiday during school holidays. I don't have to but it's my way of "paying back" even though it's an entirely different job and company.

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I also think she'd have had more constructive replies if she'd been able to construct a paragraph correctly.

*HBS tough-love hat on*

IMO, as a happily childless thirtysomething, I get REALLY annoyed when parents assume I'll work all the time so they can swan off to be with their little darlings whenever they like. And it does happen. I know it's a minority who do this, and I APPLAUD all sensible working parents.

I can't remember the last time I had Christmas off (parents were favoured even when my father was dying) and I worked all the crap shifts when I still did shift work.

Dropping a sprog is YOUR choice, YOUR responsibility, and this should have been sorted months ago. Work the shift and use the money to pay a babysitter, OP!

*removes hat*

Good luck though and congratulations on a healthy sprog.

HBS x

heartbreak_star

Duchy, I take my hat off to you. I wish more people thought like that, the pay-it-back-or-forward type thing.

HBS x

Pollycat

My OH worked in IT and they had to be on call over Christmas/New Year.

As we don't have any kids, he always said he'd do Christmas Eve through Christmas Day, ending on Boxing Day morning.

All his colleagues were very grateful and quite happy to cover New Year's Eve which was the time we wanted off.

We never booked time off during school holidays - although that was a purely selfish decision as what couple without kids would want to book a holiday during the most expensive time of the year!:rotfl:

skibadee

Pollycat wrote: »

The OP may not have posted but was online at 19:24 yesterday.

I've just reread her first post and I do think the OP (who is 27 BTW) would have had more supportive replies if she'd asked about employment law relating to flexible working and for advice on the best way of approaching her employer for a shift swop instead of asking about getting her money 'made up' after giving up her job or being sacked.

I completely agree with you.

Dognobs

Can't she just get on DLA or IS and put a end to this? She would be better off on benifits anyway!

ab.da54

CornishWildFlower wrote: »

The OP is not a personal friend of mine, so I don't know the ins and outs of her entire life, some people can cope better than others. I won't assume, simply because I can manage, that she can.

Having a baby and getting back into the workplace can be very difficult for some, that's all I'm saying. Dismissing her fears or worries as trivia isn't helpful (not saying that you are)

Surely that is actually what you are doing by suggesting she has either stress or depression, no?

duchy

Ultimately though the buck stops with the employee though.

She has chosen to have a child and continue with her job so it's down to her to make it work hopefully with the support of her employer but they have no obligation to. The OP committed to a shift pattern and then chose to make lifestyle changes. It's not like she's suddenly developed a disability that stops her working those shifts. Childcare or lack of is not the employer's problem -it is hers.

It is sometimes a challenge -but she has a partner-Many working women deal with these kind of issues without a partner or family support. I worked full-time on a horrendous shift pattern after I split with my husband -my son had just got an autism diagnosis and to top it off my Mum who I was staying with until I sorted myself out-had a brain anurism so I was looking after her too. So I do understand how tough it can be but nevertheless if you choose to be a working mother-you just work it out.

skibadee

Dognobs wrote: »

Can't she just get on DLA or IS and put a end to this? She would be better off on benifits anyway!

WHY???? she's not disabled!!!! and wouldn't get IS as has a working partner.....how do you know she'd be better off on benefits??

I think the answer to all this is to be organised......if your having a child and intend to return to work...then think it through and put a structure in place....I know even the best plans go wrong sometimes, but it always helps to have a PLAN B for those occassions.

Fortunately my employer is quite good to employees with children etc.,...but it is only a small business....a few are at the moment requesting to change their hours in September when their children start school....my employer has agreed ....as long as there are hours available for the times they have reqested and it does not cause a staffing problem. So talking to your employer does help....and most will be accomodating....BUT only if they are able to be.

LunaLady

Dognobs wrote: »

Can't she just get on DLA or IS and put a end to this? She would be better off on benifits anyway!

Helpful - except the only illness she seems to have is being a bit of a baby when things don't go her way!