How to help partner with weight loss psycological issues

Mojisola

Bluemeanie wrote: »

Weightwatchers is the only eating plan I can sustain long term. It does not limit any type of food. And believe me I've tried them all!

I think it's really important to experiment with different styles of eating and find what suits you. I'm happiest on LC, my friend has been very successful with SW, WW suits you, eating smaller portions and exercising more is what works for others.

No single eating style will suit everyone.

Mojisola

There are some women-only gyms around that work on building up muscles using resistance machines - no men, no mirrors and usually very little lycra. They're good places for an overweight woman to start changing her fat to muscle ratio.

scooby088

I have found weight loss the best when using a calorie controlled diet I was consuming something like 3500 calories a day, i cut that down to 1200, plus I joined a gym and exercised. I lost 11 stone in 15 months. It's a change for life not just to lose weight and revert to how you was which I did and now find myself at the start of another 15 months hard work to lose it again.

Your OH needs to be mentally tough and single minded, saying there's more to cuddle will just make her feel worse. Losing weight for anyone apart from yourself is counter productive she needs to do it for herself. Like I advise buy smaller plates giving the illusion you are actually having more than you normally have.

I was very self conscious when I first started at the gym, but nearly everyone there is there to either get or keep fit or to lose weight, there is nobody there making judgments. As for slimming clubs they always seem to be full of middle aged women who weight in and then after the meeting go to the pub and have a few drinks to reward themselves for losing a few pound.

If you have the time I went to the gym 5 days per week, and I only started walking on the treadmill building up to doing a hour on the cross trainer, the most weight I lost in a week was 10lb but week after put on 3lb, so I still lost 7 lb in 2 weeks. Plus another tip is weight yourself after going to the toilet mean a number 2, then you get an accurate measurement of weight.

I also found using my clothes as a better way of judging weight loss rather than lb's and stones I used inches, much better for the mind rather than the weight which can get you depressed if gaining or losing.

bright_side

I think you're in a bit of a no win situation really. If you tell her you're happy with her the way she is, she may use that to make herself feel better about over eating. Then she'll get depressed about doing so. If you tell her you're not happy with the way she is, she'll get depressed and eat all the more. Vicious circle really.

I use the term 'over eating', but I mean 'eating the wrong things'

Raksha

A few thoughts - telling her you love her as she is - more of her to love - sounds sweet, but it's giving her a 'get out clause' - perhaps tell her you'd love to be able to do more active things with her. Find out what she enjoys doing (swimming perhaps - find out if there's a 'ladies only' lane session, or 'no kids' sessions). I abhore excercise - getting hot and sweaty on machines etc. But I love horses, so I try and get my excerise doing something I love - mucking out and grooming. Alternatively I enjoy aquacise as you just don't get sweaty. Don't ignore the mood lifiting power of excercise too.

It aint going to happen 'quickly' - remind her how long it's taken to get to her current weight. but it needn't be sacrifice to loose it - find out what her fav fruit is, or does she like raw veggies? If it's chocolate, could you allow yourselves one small chocolate a day?

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.....

bikelesschick

Welshwoofs wrote: »

Wrong. That is a complete myth that has absolutely no basis in science.
Again, wrong. Go and weigh everything you eat - have, say, 2000 calories a day and then go and do what you think is 500 calories a day of exercise. By your logic you should lose 1lb a week - week in, week out. I can guarantee you will not.

The info about calories contained in fat was given to my by slimming world so I can vouch for that.

I wouldn't advocate for anyone to measure everything they eat as this could lead to complications. No, you wouldn't lose the weight due to a variety of physiological factors. I've only put the numbers to illustrate that exercise alone isn't a solution to weight loss.

Unfortunately there is no one solution that works for everyone in the long-term. It's about finding what works best for that particular person:)

peachyprice

bikelesschick wrote: »

The info about calories contained in fat was given to my by slimming world so I can vouch for that.

I think your SW coach was getting her lb's and kilos confused, 1lb is around 3500, 1kg is around 8000.

Welshwoofs

bikelesschick wrote: »

The info about calories contained in fat was given to my by slimming world so I can vouch for that.

Calories contained in fat (approx 9 calories per 1g) is a totally separate thing from stating that to lose 1lb of fat you need to burn 3,000 calories. That is a total myth.

Try this:
http://www.zoeharcombe.com/the-knowledge/1lb-does-not-equal-3500-calories/

nzmegs

OH dear, you sound just like my OH. Last year I was overweight unhappy and constantly being told about ways to lose weight by my well meaning husband. he also felt that exercise was the way to go. I knew it was about my relationship with food and my addiction to certain foods - in particular sugar. But I didn't know how to tackle either of those things. I really tried hard - truly. I also hated being told I wasn't trying. I really did, but I felt like I couldn't find the right approach.

IN december last year I started Lighter Life. Since then I have lost 50 pounds and feel amazing. I have kept it off for the last three months easily. I found the counselling was excellent and my attitude towards food and my husband has changed like you wouldn't beleive.

Since I lost the weight I have been using low carb to maintain. I am o longer addicted to sugar and will never eat it again. I truly beleive this to be true.

I went from a size 16/18 to a size 8/10.

I recommend that if you really want to help your wife you read Gary taubes. Stop telling her to exercise and clear your cupboards of sugar and carbs. it is not a fad.

Lighter Life might help with the psychological issues. it really helped me!

gingin_2

I box with my husband, I am about to go and do it now and I am a lazy moo who really dislikes exercise.

He holds up the pads and I hit, it's great fun, can easily pass for good exercise and it's nice to do together. I like that I can do it at home, it doesn't take up much room and it is fun to try and hit as hard as I can. I have my own pink boxing gloves and even girly 8 year old dd does it. That and Zumba on the Wii are the only things that get me motivated. There are lots of youtube videos on techniques.

I also agree with the low carb.