How to help partner with weight loss psycological issues

ognum

Lossing weight is mostly in the mind!

There is nothing you can do to help someone until they have made the decision to start.

exercise plays a part in weight loss but the ability to add exercise into your daily life rather than add it on is important, so walk to work, get a dog rather than go to the gym or go for a run that can easily be avoided.

First and foremost it has to be the person concerned that makes the first and subsequent steps.

Pollycat

Tobster86 wrote: »

They point to a key part of the problem - she wants to lose weight as quickly and effortlessly as possible. My take on the situation is that there is no easy or fast way. On the grounds that we both have a reasonably healthy diet, and that reducing food intake is not the answer as it leads to hunger which is counter-productive, I have suggested the very simple fitness routine of a 15min run everyday (increasing with gains in physical ability), and see where we are in a few months.

There is no 'quick fix' to losing weight and sustaining that weight loss.

Are you absolutely sure you have a healthy diet?
Maybe check what you eat. e.g. do you put spread on bread when making sandwiches? Do you take the skin off chicken? Do you cook from scratch? Some things e.g. pasta sauce can contain very high levels of sugar/fat.

Could your wife be secretly eating and therefore not be on that healthy diet that you think she is?

A couple of people have mentioned Weight Watchers & Slimming World. I have no experience of WW but SW is pretty good. You don't need to reduce food intake, just change what you eat with what.

I adapted a lot of my favourite recipes to be SW-friendly including risotto and lasagne/moussaka.

I agree with other posters that running is not a great idea.
Apart from the visibility issue, pounding the pavements may damage your wife's joints.

Do you have room for an exercise cycle or cross trainer?
Low level impact so much better than actual running.

rainbow81

You have had lots of good advice but I wonder whether your OH will reject anything you suggest now, almost as a reaction?

However, if she likes diets (you know what I mean, a plan with boundaries) then I can second Slimming World. It's not quick to start with in my experience, but I eat normal foods and a lot of them (unlimited potatoes, rice and pasta, for example).

Regarding exercise, I think they say that weightloss is 80% diet and 20% exercise. Increasing exercise just makes you hungrier anyway, our bodies really are very clever!

After some weightloss from "dieting" you may find your OH has more energy to be more active anyway, but not if she does a fad diet because there's just not enough energy to keep you going all day.

I can also recommend the Spark People website, it is American, it is free and it has lots of blogs from real people dealing with the same issues.

MissKeith

I have no personal experience with this as I am a "skinny McMinni", however my partner has also lost a considerable amount of weight and maintained it by following Slimming World too.

Also, you could join a dance class together, perhaps something like salsa? Swimming is also a great way of exercising, especially if she's tired after work as it requires less energy than running. Have you got a dog? My dad lost weight when they got a dog just by walking it for an hour twice a day. He works well over 50 hours a week and he seemed to manage fine!

bright_side

Would the "skinny McMinni" please leave the thread at the next available exit :rotfl:

Just kidding

You are right, anything is do-a-ble when you really put your mind to it, but it does have to be something that the person will enjoy and not feel they're doing it because they have to.

Mojisola

Suggest she joins us on the Low Carb thread - she'll get a lot of positive support.

If she has lost weight, then losing it isn't the problem - the mental and emotional aspects are probably as important in sticking to the diet and maintaining the loss.

If you think LC is a fad diet, read some of the links given in the LC posts.

You're giving her contradictory messages if you say your weight doesn't matter but here's an exercise programme I've devised for you! She probably doesn't believe your words and interprets your actions as meaning you really think she looks horrible.

There are lots of little tricks that can have small - but in the longterm very useful - effects on weight. Get some smaller plates and bowls. Only eat "afters" with a small spoon. If you have biscuits, chocolate, etc, in the house, put them away somewhere difficult to get at - eg in a box on a top shelf in the spare room/shed/garage. Studies show that people eat more if snacks are readily available without realising what they're doing. If they have to actively "go and get them" it reduces intake.

If you have a lot of weight to lose, it can be seem impossible. If you set an interim target - 1 stone, 10% of your weight, a certain waist measurement - it can be far more achievable.

I like Dr Briffa's information on obesity and weight loss - get your head round how wrong some of our ideas are here - https://www.drbriffa.com/2012/06/15/exercise-boosts-the-metabolism-it-seems-the-reverse-might-be-true/

bright_side

Mojisola wrote: »

I like Dr Briffa's information on obesity and weight loss - get your head round how wrong some of our ideas are here - www.drbriffa.com/2012/06/15/exercise-boosts-the-metabolism-it-seems-the-reverse-might-be-true/

That's very interesting Mojisola and confirms my personal belief that excercise isn't necessary in order to lose weight. Make healthier choices and eat less - simple! In theory

Welshwoofs

bikelesschick wrote: »

Some food for thought... there are 3000 calories in 1kg of fat.

Wrong. That is a complete myth that has absolutely no basis in science.

Doing 60 minutes at a fairly high strength level on the cross trainer burns 700 calories, body pump classes (weight lifting sort of thing to music) 400, body combat/boxercise 450. These are approximate but it shows how much exercise would be required to burn a pound per weeks simply through exercise.

Again, wrong. Go and weigh everything you eat - have, say, 2000 calories a day and then go and do what you think is 500 calories a day of exercise. By your logic you should lose 1lb a week - week in, week out. I can guarantee you will not.


Exercise is essential to keep muscles toned and general fitness, but all studies show that it is NOT the magic bullet to lose weight. The single biggest factor to losing weight is what you put in your mouth and it's not even a case of 'eat whatever you want as long as it's not over X calories' because not all calories are created equal. The body has to work harder to get energy from some calories then it does from others (called the Thermic Effect) - for instance if you eat 100 calories of simple carbohydrates, you'll burn about 3 calories doing so and 20 calories eating complex carbs. However if you eat 100 grams of protein, your body will use about 30 calories digesting it. So you can eat the same number of calories a day and do the same amount of exercise, but the overall calorie deficit will depend on what the calories were made up of.

As for exercise, doing some resistance/strength training would be better than cardio as it builds muscle and your body needs more energy to sustain muscle than it does fat.

So, the upshot is that if she eats a high percentage of protein in her daily diet and does some weights/resistance she'll slim down. She was on the right lines with Dukan (which is low carb/high protein), however it's a bit too restrictive and you do need some fat in your diet.

Mojisola

Mojisola wrote: »

I like Dr Briffa's information on obesity and weight loss - get your head round how wrong some of our ideas are here - https://www.drbriffa.com/2012/06/15/exercise-boosts-the-metabolism-it-seems-the-reverse-might-be-true/

Do read the other blogs listed on the side as well - Weight Loss, Unhealthy Eating and Low Carb. I like Dr Briffa's posts because he always links back to the original studies.

Bluemeanie_2

Weightwatchers is the only eating plan I can sustain long term. It does not limit any type of food. And believe me I've tried them all!