Frump to Fab - Sizzling Summer Solstice to Awesome Autumn Equinox

lessonlearned

Hello Ladies

Pod, Lizzie, Allie :T:T:T on the weight losses - that's great news.

Faithless/B]- don't be too hard on yourself - I think most of us know and undertstand only too well what it is to have food issues. Some great tips - ie keeping busy and also making sure you have a little snack with you - just in case. I think that will help you feel more in control.

I haven't done it for about three weeks now but when I joined Lizzie on the 5:2 way of eating I felt that my obsessing over food was much less noticeable. I was considerably more relaxed.

I think this is because at the same time I also cut out all grains. I felt so much better and had no cravings at all. My appetite returned to a more normal and acceptable level. It seems that carbs - especially wheat - upset my system so much I end up with terrible cravings and "hunger" pangs.

Cue the last few days. For a variety of reasons my healthy eating has flown out of the window and I've had to resort to a lot of wheat based foods, bread mainly. Today I feel dreadful. So it's back to cutting out grains for a while.

Yesterday I had to take OH over to Nottingham to see his consultant. A lot of driving and hanging around, missing meals and snacking on sandwiches etc - today I'm done for.

Not much news with the consultant. He did some tests to see if OH is suitable for a different drug regime. This is "a last resort" regime with some potentially dodgy side effects however we are scraping the barrel now and it looks like "Hobson's Choice"

The new regime would not be a cure of course, just symptom management. We'll see what the test results say and we can think it over and decide then. Until we know whether or not he is a suitable candidate it's all rather academic.

The new drugs would basically be an imuno-suppressant which opens up the issue of OH being more at risk of serious infections in the short term and cancer in the long term. Difficult decisions. Still no breakthrough for him re stem cell treatment.

I went shopping today and bought OH some more new trousers. I have taken over his laundry again because last week the nursing home managed to lose 5 pairs. I also saw someone else wearing one of his tops and when I checked through all his stuff I found a number of items of clothing belonging to other residents.

Not very dignified is it - making them wear each other's clothes.:(

I can't do much for him but I can at least oversee his wardrobe, and grooming etc.

Still working on the early nights - can't say I've noticed any significant improvement yet. Still waiting for an energy surge:rotfl:

Bye for now....

WelshWoofer

Well done Allie! And congratulations on the job:j

I'm really tired today, realised last night at about 10pm that I may have done something wrong with the GCSE exam entries and spent the night panicking about it. Turns out it was fine all along so a big relief but I'm still exhausted.

Have walked the dog but if the weather stays fine I'll take him for another longer walk later to get a bit of fresh air - will hopefully help me sleep tonight.
Just done a bit of mid-week house fabbing - hoovering and dusting and got a load of washing on. I'm away this weekend so trying to do a bit of housework now rather than having to do it all on Sunday afternoon when I get back. Really don't want to go to the family do but I'm obligated really - its extended family so I'm not really that important to them but mum says I have to go (I'm 40!:rotfl:)

I weighed this morning and if my weight doesn't change between now and Friday I have surpassed my target of 20lbs lost - don't want to jinx it though so will wait for the official weigh in day before declaring it!

Right its that time when I esat biscuits or get the tea on so better get in the kitchen pronto!

LL - you sneaked in while I was typing. I'm sure OH appreciates all the little things you do for him. I can understand your disgust at the home mixing up clothes - I'm sure many people there are physically incapacitated not mentally and would feel awful about wearing someone else's clothes.

lessonlearned

WelshWoofer wrote: »

I'm really tired today, realised last night at about 10pm that I may have done something wrong with the GCSE exam entries and spent the night panicking about it. Turns out it was fine all along so a big relief but I'm still exhausted.

Glad it was a false alarm. All's well that ends well.;)

Don't want to jinx things either but...... :T:T:T:T:rotfl::rotfl:

Re - the home - they mean well I know but it's the "little things" that make the difference. I do so wish I could bring him home again. I keep racking my brains.

The thing is I noticed that Tony, the man who suffered from Locked-In Syndrome and who died recently, was cared for at home. I watched a programme about him, he needed hoists, two person handling just like my OH. His local authority had funded home adaptations for him so I'm assuming they picked up the tab for most of his care too.???

Everyone tells me I can't do it however I am still searching, still plotting....I've not quite given up all hope yet. I can be downright bl**dy minded and awkward at times I know but I have discovered that I have strengths I would never have suspected.

I regularly look on RightMove and am convinced that if I can find the right kind of property - large enough to take all the equipment, easy access etc then I can do it. I could rent first whilst I find the right house to knock to bits and rebuild to meet our requirements. Just need to sell this one first.

Aiming to get the agents round to take photos next week and then it's time to launch....

fedupandskint

I am very tired and achy today with a cold arriving just before the holibobs next week - so another early night due again this week.

Off to visit uni tutor tomorrow for dissertation discussion - no idea what I will talk about but hopefully I'll make some headway over the next couple of months

Not much fabbing today apart from did take the dog on a longer walk this evening to enjoy the autumnal sun which was gloriously pleasant

floss2

lessonlearned wrote: »

....Re - the home - they mean well I know but it's the "little things" that make the difference. I do so wish I could bring him home again. I keep racking my brains.

The thing is I noticed that Tony, the man who suffered from Locked-In Syndrome and who died recently, was cared for at home. I watched a programme about him, he needed hoists, two person handling just like my OH. His local authority had funded home adaptations for him so I'm assuming they picked up the tab for most of his care too.???

Everyone tells me I can't do it however I am still searching, still plotting....I've not quite given up all hope yet. I can be downright bl**dy minded and awkward at times I know but I have discovered that I have strengths I would never have suspected.

I regularly look on RightMove and am convinced that if I can find the right kind of property - large enough to take all the equipment, easy access etc then I can do it. I could rent first whilst I find the right house to knock to bits and rebuild to meet our requirements. Just need to sell this one first.

Aiming to get the agents round to take photos next week and then it's time to launch....

LL, what is the home's policy on clothing? Do they have anything like that? Do the management actually know that the residents's personal clothing is being shared as if it were all from a lost property box, which is degrading, distressing and deplorable?

Also, what is your local health authority's view on home care? Do they fully fund it or not, and may they feel that because your DH is now in residential care that he should stay there, or are they amenable to changing where their money goes?

lessonlearned

Hi Floss - no they are not supposed to share clothing. I labelled everything carefully. It's just that some of the carers are either lazy or dilatory. I'm afraid there have been several incidents of late that have made me see red.

I hate to say this because it makes me sound racist - which I am most certainly not - my mother is an immigrant after all. The worst culprits are the night staff who are mainly from the Philopines. Even allowing for language difficulties and cultural differences I have to say some of them are just plain lazy and indifferent.

I found out that one of the male carers had handled my OH and some of the other residents quite roughly. I made a formal complaint, along with another relative and he has now left and gone back to the Philopines. As far as I know he is the only one to behave in this fashion but I'm watching.....

Luckily my OH can communicate any distress he feels.

Last Saturday evening I visited OH. I went to the kitchen to make a drink at around 8pm. One of the residents on OH's wing had pressed his buzzer for attention and it had been going for some time.

When I got to the kitchen 4 carers were sitting chatting and ignoring the buzzer. Very politely I pointed out that the buzzer was going - they gave me a filthy look and one of them reluctantly went to investigate. This is one of the reasons that I have taken to varying my visiting times - they never know when to expect me.

They all know me now, they know that I never swear, shout or rant and rave but they also know that I won't take any nonsense.

Re the funding - yes currently SS pick up the tab, after taking |OH's benefits and pensions into the equation - I am left with nothing of course.

They are prepared to redirect the funding to us under the umbrella of Disability Direct but my understanding is that this is capped and would not meet OH's full needs. The |nursing home does receive the nursing component - I'm not sure if this would be payable for home care. The nursing component is an extra amount because OH needs nursing care not just personal care although of course when he was at home prior to entering the nursing home I only received Carer's Allowance - so I did the nursing, even though I have no nursing qualifications, for free. Cheeky isn't it.

I think my next step would be to apply for a Continuing Care Assessment. He "failed" his last one, and although his condition has deteriorated since then, my understanding is that you have to be almost at death's door to meet their criteria.

I'm afraid it all comes down to money in the end. SS have told me that under no circumstances will they fund night-time care and the amount we would likely receive in funding wouldn't cover 24 hour care.

My only option is to top up what they offer, however as I am not in employment and am unlikely to walk into a well paid job any time soon this is proving rather difficult.

I think my best bet would be to become self employed and form a limited company and pay myself a salary.

Property is what I know best. I could buy a couple of Buy to Let properties and use the rent to help with the top up but, get this - owning a second property would be contravening their rules and all funding would cease. Catch 22.

So that is why I am currently looking at setting up a Limited Company so that I can pay myself a salary and do it that way. But first I need to sell my home .....

Sorry for such a long winded reply but you can see what a complicated and tortuous business it is.

For the time being he will have to remain in the nursing home and I shall keep watching them like a hawk.

Anyway - off to bed now, DS1 came round this evening and helped DS2 move a couple of things in the garden, tomorrow I will buy a few extra shrubs to fill in a few gaps and make everything ship shape again.

podperson

Morning all,

ww - hope you're feeling a bit more revived today, shall try not to jinx the weigh in but fingers crossed

LL - it must be so frustrating to feel like you have to constantly be watching them just to make sure your OH gets the level of care and detail that surely should be expected as standard - it's surely not rocket science to deliver the right clothes back to people when they have the name clearly labelled on them! I feel so bad for the people in there who don't have someone like you to stand up for them

sparkles - hope you're feeling a bit better x

Thanks to those who are following my blog, much appreciated If anyone else would like a nosey have put the link in my profile now to make it a bit easier. Made a facebook page as well last night and am actually quite shocked that have nearly 70 likes already! My choir leader has been really lovely about it - she not only shared it on the choir page (which she rarely does with anything!) but she sent me an email 'taking me in hand' :rotfl:She basically said that I need to have a lot more faith in myself - I had been putting things like 'if people wouldn't mind having a look I'll try not to bore you too much' and she was quite rightly saying that I need to much more confident about it and if I act like it's great then people will believe it. Not a very easy thing for me tbh as I've never had a great deal of self-confidence but need to try and work on it as everyone in the business keeps telling me how important self-promotion is.
Anyway, didn't make my walk last night - felt a bit guilty but was just shattered so managed about 1000 words writing and then had an early night again. Feeling a little more 'with it' today and have doctors again tonight so hopefully will give me something to help clear up my cough and then will help me sleep better!
Hope everyone has a good day x

lessonlearned

Good morning all

Well - not much of an early night was it. Tonight I will do better.

Estate Agent booked for photos on Tuesday so a cleaning, decluttering blitz this weekend and a final "fluff" to make everything look fab-u-lous

Speaking of fabbing need to get a grip with myself. I could do with a few new bits and pieces for the colder weather, so next week I will make a start on my new Autumn Collection dahlings. I had a quick look in ASDA yesterday but wasn't particularly inspired.

I don't want to spend a fortune because I am determined to get back on track with the healthy eating and exercising and lose some bl**dy weight.

Anyway off to tackle yet more ironing, lunch with OH then call in at the farmshop for a few shrubs and plants. I noticed they had some bargainous shrubs in at £3. They were a good size and well established not the usual "sticks" that £3 would get you.

Nasty day here - having to use the tumble dryer.

I looked at my finances yesterday.

Once I've got the last few house accessories, garden bits and bobs, and a few winter clothes it will be time to join WW and Sparkles on a bit of belt tightening.... Thank goodness it's only a matter of weeks till my pension kicks in.

I cannot believe I'm saying that I'm actually pleased to be finally classed officially as an OAP. I may look ancient on the outside but inside I'm only sweet 16.:rotfl:

lessonlearned

Sorry Pod - still haven't had a proper look at your blog. Girl guides honour I will tonight.

Self promotion is incredibly difficult for us shy self effacing reticent Brits isn't it.

My OH was (is) really a very clever man with a brilliant mind - right up their with Stephen Hawkins but he squirms when people mention his intellect. He found it difficult to promote his business and he used to refer to the contracting agency as his "Pimps". Luckily he never had to promote much - word of mouth saw to that - he was never short of work.

DS1 is equally as brilliant (Phd in Maths) and DS2 is a very good photographer but will not promote himself. Both of them are very modest and self-effacing about their achievements.

Problem is Pod - there are plenty of people out there who talk the talk but don't walk the walk. They are the ones who seem to be able to promote themselves.

I'm sure that given time your work will stand as your testament to your abilities and that you will build a good reputation and your business will flourish.

Do you still read Tinktay on the Millionaire's Thread - she doesn't boast and crow but she is slowly building her reputation and her business is growing.

Take it slow and steady, your talent will shine through and your business will grow organically. You will make it sweetie, you have the right attitude and work ethic.

You have "True Grit".

fedupandskint

A good meeting at uni this morning about the dissertation. Feel much more confident about what to now. So, a week off on holiday then knuckle down to the first phase when I get back.

Just having a low kcal lunch in Pret for a change and a treat for doing some uni work with some nice soup instead of a high fat sandwhich.

Might have a little treat for pud though!

Will catch up later on after work