Hoarding...not just on TV

GreyQueen

toerag33 wrote: »

Take care. It all sounds so overwhelming.

It only starts at overwhelming. It quickly gets exhilarating and even (whisper it not in the mall, nor tell them at the Treasury) addictive. Or maybe we who are inclined to hoard are a variant psychology who are also inclined to go overboard with other behaviours. What can I tell you, my current addiction is to minimalists' websites.:rotfl:

Anyway, don't be shy, pull up a bin bag or a box and join the fun.

Whilst wasting at least 10 hours of my life over the past few days decluttering the allotment shed, I have had ample opportunity to ponder my failings and the habits which led to the mess in the first place. I'm a basically-OK person (like Planet Earth in Hitchhiker's Guide, the term mostly harmless could be applied) but I am seeing certain habits of thought and thus behaviour which I'd like to change.

A lot of the clutter in my shed (and in my life in general) has it's origins in a few beliefs.

Poverty mentality:

My belief that I don't have enough, and that if I discard something with an erg of usefulness left in it, there will come a time when I will be in desperate want and need and will be cursing myself for having been so wantonly-wasteful with my resources. Quite how I imagine plastic punnets which formerly held fruit and every garment I ever wore out in the rag-bag will be my saving in some terrible future, I do not know.

I just need to accept that human life is beset with anxieties and that it isn't possible to future-proof myself against each and every possible variant of trouble. What happens, happens, and you have to roll with it. If we're all in a real SHTF situation, the less clutterly carp I have to deal with, the better off I will be.

Being the Saviour of the Object.

I have the feeling that if I see anything being wasted, I should save it. Not necessarily for myself. Useful scrap timber? Hey, I know someone with a real fire, excellent kindling, should save that. And on and on, ad infinitum.

Accept that there is an awful lot of stuff in the world and only one of me, with a finite time on the planet. I will accept responsibility for not wasting my own stuff, by thoughtful consumerism, eventual rehoming/ recycling, but I can't save everything and it's not worth trying.

Green Awareness.

Yup, an almost obsessive feeling about recycling can easily lead to clutter, especially in a home as small as mine. I need to commit to getting it out regularly and to work on the concept of "zero waste" to stop bringing some of it home in the first place.

Don't go overboard and feel I have to run up the road to the recycling banks as soon as I get a bagful at the weekend. I pass the onstreet banks 5 days a week on my way to work. 5 opportunities to recycle. Mustn't become an obsessive.

Accepting other people's discards:

Every single piece of furniture I have in my sitting room is a "discard", mostly bought at c.s. but a couple of family bits and bobs. The rugs I made myself (from scraps of yarn! You get medals for using up scraps, y'know!) Also, most of my clothing and housewares have been pre-owned by someone else. That's all good, I chose those things. I also have other things which have been given to me when other people were clearing out their stuff.

It's great that they are kind enough to think of me and I appreciate their thoughtfulness, but I need to know when to draw the line. I need to accept the limitations of the physical space in my little flat and also of the time in my life. There is only X amount of stuff I can realistically interact with, and when you get above that level, you get into diminishing returns, more becomes less; less time, less freedom, less elbow-room.

I also need to get past the fear of offending some beloved person (family or friend) by declining something.

Hmm, by gum, that's getting a bit deep for this hour of the day. Better have some more tea and get up t'office to earn my crust. Have a good day, one and all. GQ x

lostinrates

Who'd have thought that would take so long!

You can see i gave up readjusting shelf heights last night.

Possession

I'm sure it looks 100% better than being on the floor LIR, you can adjust things or move books around later but at least you have cleared up and you have space!

lostinrates

Possession wrote: »

I'm sure it looks 100% better than being on the floor LIR, you can adjust things or move books around later but at least you have cleared up and you have space!

Yep. In fact, a lot of these were still in boxes. We still have loads on the floor upstairs, but mainly fiction and music. We have not yet put anything on the top on the boselves, but will have to, and thats ok too. This is just till autumn/winter when we can move into the new study anyway, so while grouping helps to get an idea of the sort of spaces we need for things the world will not end if its not perfect.

Byatt

I think it looks fab LIR, I have serious bookshelf envy, and I love the way some books are on their side. It makes the shelving of the books look very interesting.

Well done!

wannabe_sybil

Still full of a minor cold. Today I am going to contribute to decluttering by knitting, thus shrinking my stash.

Threw out two bin bags this morning. The junk room is now like the rooms in the hoarders programmes, with a huge heap in the middle. This is largely due to little bear creeping upstairs 'to look at his big pandies' and poking around as five year olds will. One of the units has tipped over and now yarn and yarn and scarves and yarn are all in a heap on top of another heap that was slowly getting nibbled down. Sigh.

Threw away a cone of extremely thin mucky beige yarn I got as part of a job lot. I didn't think I could bring myself to throw away yarn, but I did.

Hugs to all

lostinrates

Dear god help me. I just flund out a not too far away huge book shop is selling their second hand books for only a pound each. I have spent many hpurs browsing there.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

lostinrates wrote: »

Dear god help me. I just flund out a not too far away huge book shop is selling their second hand books for only a pound each. I have spent many hpurs browsing there.

STAND BACK!


There will still be books for sale in the winter when your forever shelves are in. Maybe even for 50p each instead?


What you have done so far looks great. To replace that volume of books would put you straight back into the same position with another week of sorting, dusting, ordering, allocating and needing to buy an additional three bookcases.

And wouldn't it be nice to have your lovely study and the freedom to buy books knowing there is space for you to care for them properly, rather than languishing underfoot/vulnerable to animal onslaught? All that book shopping after Christmas?

thriftwizard

I just need to accept that human life is beset with anxieties and that it isn't possible to future-proof myself against each and every possible variant of trouble. What happens, happens, and you have to roll with it. If we're all in a real SHTF situation, the less clutterly carp I have to deal with, the better off I will be.

Thank you, GQ, I shall hold onto that thought! :beer:

I had a very interesting conversation with my younger brother last night; he's been watching the programmes, recognised the tendency in himself & the rest of us, and has been investigating further via the Web, the library & a trained-counsellor friend. He pointed out that we were actually desperately poor growing up; despite the big middle-class homes (which went with my father's, then my mother's jobs) & boarding schools (scholarship/foundation kids) our clothes were hand-me-downs that were mended time & again, though scrupulously clean, and we quite often went to bed hungry on the thought that we were still better off than people starving in the Sahel. And we too experienced the sudden loss when my father died at 52; we had 6 weeks to get out of the vicarage, Mum had just £27 in the bank and one day we came home from school and all our furniture etc. (the good stuff, anyway) had just plain gone to the auctioneers to raise a small pittance. Not blaming poor Mum, who was really thrown in at the deep end whilst suffering from shock & grief at a time when the State simply didn't recognise that a widow might still have young children to care for, and not wanting to disrespect what genuine refugees go through, but looking back I think the whole experience was not dissimilar - we lost our father, our home, our income and most of our familiar belongings within a space of a few weeks. But many people have it worse.

I'd never seen it in that light before, and have to emphasise that we never really suffered in any way, or felt at all unloved, but it does explain why I feel such anxious pangs when I force myself to part with things. He also told me that the reason that our elder brother, a respected academic, hasn't wanted any of us to visit him at home for several years (he'll come out to us, though) is because their house apparently makes ours look like a Homes & Gardens minimalist spread (!) and if I think about it our middle brother's is pretty chaotic too, which is disguised by its sheer size. Younger brother himself "saw the light" through piles of woodworking magazines & tools several years ago, following a minor breakdown, and now only allows in items that really, really "belong" in his delightful little home & disposes of anything that has outlived its usefulness straight away.

So - there is light at the end of the tunnel - if he can do it & not backslide, so can I. I've not been feeling brilliant this week so had come to a grinding halt, but I'm better today so another couple of boxes can be sorted & disposed of before tea. Onwards & upwards...

Byatt

I've cat flapped the huge log basket, and I didn't really feel a pang, and now it's gone I wonder why I was so sorry it was going. Not done much else.

Thrift, it's an eye opener isn't it, and I agree, the loss you went through was similar to refugees, and as a child you wouldn't be able to rationalise it. It's only as we grow up we can understand. It's really good your siblings are on board, and it appears it affected them in a similar way too. Have you talked about your past with them?