Hoarding...not just on TV

Possession

Lovely news on the photos GQ, and your brother, AND your fiendishly tidy living room. What a day!

Byatt

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/174983

It seems you can use it for cleaning carpets so depending on how much was there, not sure why it would be sticky. You may need to wash it down a few times with just plain clean water.

vivaladiva

calicocat wrote: »

Oh god I have just remembered a friends daughter threw bold washing powder all over carpets instead of the carpet freshener........= sticky carpets !! Obviously I vaccumed it up but there must be some still in it. Anyone got any brilliant ideas to remedy this ??????

You could try giving them a bit of a rinse with vinegar in the water. The stickiness is probably traces of whatever detergent you used. If you don't de-sticky it dirt will stick to it. I patch cleaned a cream carpet once. It ended up looking worse than when I started, cos I didn't know about the vinegar trick then .

katep23

Hi all, what a great thread and thank you to JoJo for starting it.

I have been worried for a while about the amount of "stuff" we have - it's just me and OH, 4 cats, 12 ducks and a fish-tank full of platys but we have managed to fill a 3 bed semi with 2 reception rooms, 2 attached brick "out-houses", a shed, a garage and a greenhouse.

What started out as a food stock-pile has turned into hoarding - I used to go window shopping for clothes but now I keep logging on to Approved Foods and filling my basket then closing the browser :rotfl: still better than actually buying all the stuff.

I am sure this is linked to insecurity as it gets worse at times of stress - seriously, how much cous cous do we need? And 2kg of popping corn :cool: I do not seem able to resist a "bargain", no matter whether I need it or not.

Luckily, after lurking round here and being sooo impressed by all your work and sharing tips and talking about what causes your hoarding, I have talked to OH (okay, talked AT OH!) and he has accepted we need to do something.

I was always quite OCD about being clean and tidy but the last few years that has gone out the window because the house is always such a mess. And I hate living in a dirty house. It really gets to me. There is just so much clutter that you can't even hoover.

So, this week I have:

* taken 2 bags of assorted carp to the charity shop (cue embarassing moment when I asked the assistant if I should take the bags through to the back and got a response of "I don't know, I don't work here" - oops!)

* taking an old double (we only have king size) duvet to work tomorrow to pass on to a woman who runs a rescue centre for collies

* passed about 15 mushroom boxes to my Dad which were cluttering up the "wood shed" (not sure why it is called that as it is neither made of nor stores wood :cool:)

* Freegled an old 20" monitor which doesn't always work (being collected tomorrow) and

* bagged up some books for a friend who is collecting them for something, as long as they are gone I'm not fussy what!

And all this thanks to your inspiration. So thank you all for sharing and motivating those of who are sitting on our bums and lurking and who needed a little inspiration :T please know you do make a difference.

Right, that was far too long a message, promise to keep it short and sweet from now on (if you'll have me back that is )

Brighton_belle

Sorry I've been a bit awol - not feeling too good and totally wiped.

blossomhill wrote: »

Brightonbelle - PLEEEEZE post a picture of your elf - I am having such fun picturing him or her!

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:If only I had the energy to get the camera...

mollythewestie wrote: »

Whoops , went into 2 charity shops this morning, came out with a DVD for DD. To be fair it is one of her favourite cartoons, and it is really hard to get hold of (currently over £8 on amazon, I paid just £2).

To justify buying it, I will be finding a DVD of my own to donate, or better still a bag full. That's brilliant and the way forward:T

GreyQueen wrote: »

I'm in agreement with the subject of visual clutter. I have a very strong reaction to stuff; processing too much visual stimuli makes me very very tired. I can only hack museums and galleries for about an hour, no matter how fascinating, as they give me a brain-ache. I have nothing at all on the walls of my very small bedroom, just a soft plain colour. No patterns on the duvet cover or curtains. It makes me more rested.

I'm much the same. I find libraries diffcult too.

Byatt

Kate, well done!! :T:T The most important part is acknowledging the problem...none of this is easy, but we do seem to make some progress on here.

I've been the same with AF...the amount of times I've loaded my basket and then deleted the lot, the worst times are when I don't delete but order. :eek: So, having had 4 orders in 2 months I have now stopped looking. I have to tell myself I wouldn't normally buy half the stuff if I was shopping elsewhere, so why do it with them. I currently have several packs of crackers and as for cous cous. If I never see cous cous again it will be too soon!! :rotfl::o

Brighton_belle

alec_eiffel wrote: »

That's exactly what I was like. I had everything in alphabetical order and had a written catalogue of what went where. Shelves had labels and I got very cross if someone messed with my books. But what I found was that it didn't help me. My point is that change is possible and it's not just change within the same parameters as before, it's real genuine change. It's stressful but it's also freedom. Freedom from things - physical and mental.

All the "needing" to have things a certain way was of my own creation and didn't really make me calm, it made me stressed. It was all about keeping things the same, and things don't stay the same when you're living rather than existing. Fear made me keep order and fear isn't a way to live.

Really illuminating post:T:T

SpikyHedgehog wrote: »

That's brilliant! My perfectionism was stopping me seeing that, because he's a smoker & drops ash around, but if he values it, he'll want it, & if he doesn't value it, why am I keeping it? :-)

Isn't it brilliant whenwe don't see the blindingly obvious and then someone points it out then the penny drops:T:D Good stuff. Well spotted whitewing!

blossomhill wrote: »

Another thing that has been helping me to declutter is to move the stuff to a different place to sort it - if I stand in front of the little pile of "things" that always accumulates at the corner of the worksurface, I can reduce it (slightly) but never clear it, but I repeat the effort

If I put it on a tray and take it elsewhere - magic happens!

Fab tip:T I think taking stuff out out your comfort zone place for it makes you see it with completely fresh eyes.

Greyqueen. I share your feelings re the 8 legged beasts of satan. Guess what my DH turned out to be an expert/specialist in :eek:. Imagine the books he owns on the subject.

blossomhill_2

katep23 wrote: »

Luckily, after lurking round here and being sooo impressed by all your work and sharing tips and talking about what causes your hoarding, I have talked to OH (okay, talked AT OH!) and he has accepted we need to do something.

Glad we have helped you to have that conversation ... bear in mind that you won't both be able to move at the same pace but keep at it, even if one of you flags - it is ok to have a "not yet" pile, as long as you set a date to go back to it when your house and minds are clearer

passed about 15 mushroom boxes to my Dad which were cluttering up the "wood shed" (not sure why it is called that as it is neither made of nor stores wood :cool:)

...because there was "something nasty in the woodshed" - in your case, mushroom boxes, and now they have gone you can rename it!

And all this thanks to your inspiration. So thank you all for sharing and motivating those of who are sitting on our bums and lurking and who needed a little inspiration :T please know you do make a difference

Our pleasure - also if you could answer some or even just one of the questions earlier in the thread, it does help us too as it gives us some insight into trends and we can put our minds to solutions.

I have been thinking a lot about looking at my hoard from both sides and have been using the words to "Clouds/Both Sides Now" to inspire me - if anyone else fancies it LINK (if link works!) and substitute whatever you call your hoard (hoard/carp/mess/things/junk/collection/books/cous cous) for the word "clouds"

I find I need to look at it from both sides both physically and virtually - eg not only looking at my vases in situ but also lining them up by colour and size and seeing which ones don't fit in
(PS whole windowful of "my" style of oldie vases in CS today - too much for me... so I walked past!

katep23

Byatt wrote: »

Kate, well done!! :T:T The most important part is acknowledging the problem...none of this is easy, but we do seem to make some progress on here.

I've been the same with AF...the amount of times I've loaded my basket and then deleted the lot, the worst times are when I don't delete but order. :eek: So, having had 4 orders in 2 months I have now stopped looking. I have to tell myself I wouldn't normally buy half the stuff if I was shopping elsewhere, so why do it with them. I currently have several packs of crackers and as for cous cous. If I never see cous cous again it will be too soon!! :rotfl::o

Ooh, just lost my reply!

Thanks Byatt, glad I'm not the only one with a couscous mountain, good to know I'm not alone :T

My first two AF orders I didn't tell OH just snuck it in while he was at work and hid the boxes. Not sure where he thought all the couscous and stock cubes had come from :cool:

Last one I did tell him about and I suggested that if we do another order we do it together so I won't end up buying a load of stuff we won't use which will just sit in the larder for months.

I nearly ordered some OOD seafood sauce as it was only 1p a jar despite the fact I don't like it and OH can't eat seafood :cool:

I do know I spend money (food, charity shop, online sales) when I feel like something is lacking in my life and I need a "pick me up"; it is like I am taking control of my life by filling it with "things" which will make me happy but actually I then look around at how cluttered and therefore dirty the house is and get more downcast. I tried to kid myself that I had things under control because I was spending less money at AF, charity shops etc but that really is irrelevant to the effect it has and the reasons I do it.

But the important thing is that I recognise the spiral now and can do something about it - even better that OH is on board. He was roaming the house earlier looking for things to put on Freegle :rotfl:

Byatt

Kate, I totally understand your emotions and the need to fill the emotional void. Seeing a so called bargain has always been hard for me to ignore, I now daren't go into the grabbit forum. As I add up the cost of all the "bargains" I realise I could have had a nice holiday or got something I need, or paid towards the winter fuel. I've bought things from the CS and brought them home, put them amidst the clutter and never look at them again, or if I do, think, oh I forgot I had that!

With AF orders, there's the thrill of the chase, getting the bargain before they go (do I really need or want a 100 year old modena vinegar when I have a small bottle I rarely use?!), and then the "treat" element with the chocolates of certain luxury foods. Then to balance it out, the cous cous, because I love cous cous...or I did...and hey, it's a practical item I can use in all sorts of things, but there's only so much cous cous a girl can stand!

Yesterday when I popped some stuff into a CS, I spotted a Lee Child book, it was £1.25 but didn't have the money on me. So today I raided my purse and found £1.25...but drove passed the CS instead (I was on my way to a job)...as I thought, I have several books I need/want to read, I don't need another one yet, and maybe I won't find the same one again, but so what...life isn't going to end because of it. I didn't need to get it just so I could feel good with myslef for a short while thinking how good was I getting the book at a bargain price. So I still have the £1.25 in my purse, which is a beginning.

edit: the trigger I have for looking for bargains especially online is to make me feel better inside; valued and worthwhile. The worst times are evenings or when I'm upset about a family matter. I need to find ways to distract myself by doing something else, but it's not always easy. I get a real buzz from getting a bargain, so need to get that buzz from something else. The clearing up is to help me do that as I have a few small furniture projects. I have been reading up on the things I will need, and I'm trying to do it on a budget, so that's a good focus for me.