Hoarding...not just on TV

kitschy

In our house we call it Trebus, after the darling Mr Trebus who was on Life of Grime. So we say "deTrebusing" or refer to the drawer of junk as the Trebus drawer etc. All with real affection - I think he was a wonderful man who life was cruel to.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edmund_Trebus

GreyQueen

blossomhill wrote: »

Oh how I agree - love compost - hope you composted the shredded letter afterwards ...


What, like plastic Daleks - I have to confess I hoard them! I have 8, no 9 (neighbour put one out this week with a "take me" sign on, so I did)
There is no hope for me, is there (!)

:DNo hope at all.:D The contents of the shredder do go to the Dalek.

One of my great-uncles ended up as sole custodian of what had been the family home for 80+ years,. It was a cottage and outbuildings, plus a large garden (think 2/3rds of an acre). Along one fence was a row of 6 x 8 sheds, side by side. All were full of carp - one we could see into was full of planks, all kitty-cornered. It seems that when he filled up one shed, instead of decluttering (unlike moi :A) he just installed another one alongside it. There were 8-9 of them, come to think of it, closed with rusted padlocks. To which there were no keys.

Fortunately we found the Will among a pile of old parish magazines under the sofa and he'd left it to a former amour's daughter. My family skipped out of there right smartly and left it all to her, sycthe, silverfish, rising damp and all.

Just spoke to brother- 2 carrier bags of videos outta his home today. So proud.:o:p

blossomhill_2

One for the photo hoarders – and those who like their hoards to leave “with a purpose”.

If you have old photos that show locations, groups like workgroups, factories, old schools, old forms of transport; consider that these are not just your history, they are also a social history.

We have old family photos that have been very well received by local organisations, and museums. How about you?

These days they can scan them too, or you could keep a scan and let them have the original. It is helpful for them to be offered while someone is still around who knows the background, rather than wait for beneficiaries to offer them blindly

( Oh, I loved Mr Trebus! )

PS Kitschy - have you seen Michael MacKintyre's sketch
"The MAN drawer" ?

kitschy

blossomhill wrote: »

( Oh, I loved Mr Trebus! )

PS Kitschy - have you seen Michael MacKintyre's sketch
"The MAN drawer" ?[/FONT]

No I haven't - I'll look it out on YouTube! Sometimes I wonder if the reason I can't find a man is that I subconsciously don't know if I can live with one again, let alone all the "stuff" they come with

SpikyHedgehog

lostinrates wrote: »

Dear god help me. I just flund out a not too far away huge book shop is selling their second hand books for only a pound each. I have spent many hpurs browsing there.

I saw what you'd put about the books being reduced and started to feel my pulse racing at the thought of all those potential treasures... Keep resisting!

I saw my friend at school yesterday whose DS is the same age as DS2 & she offered us a lift home so I offered her a cup of tea. Now, this says 2 things:
1 - I'm feeling better about the state of the house though still not how I'd like it to be (with the resources etc to hand);
2 - My friend is a close friend who I trust not to judge me by the state of my house & I know that her house is not immaculate either.

She was widowed a few years ago, and though they knew her DH was so ill, it was still a devastating shock when he did die. He hadn't made a will or got her added onto the bills for things like his mobile phone. She has always struggled with hoarding a bit anyway, but this just made it so much worse for her. She struggles with telling her DS to tidy his toys away as she knows how much of the mess is her own.

And what she didn't tell me, but I could see, was how shocked she was that we'd changed things round in my house - new shelving units & different blinds in the kitchen, & a different sofa. I found myself thinking 'If she finds it so hard to accept change in my house, knowing I needed to instigate change to help us accept Errant Husband not living with us, how much harder is it for her to imagine any changes in her house when they mean her DH is no longer with them?'

DS2 & I went in the garden after dinner as it was still dry & I cut the grass, & managed to plant out the 4 perennials I'd got in M0rris0ns the other day. I'm not quite as bad as mother who buys plants to put in the garden then ends up doing absolutely nothing with them & having to compost their remains. But I need to battle the tendency. I was looking round the garden when we'd finished when I noticed a batten from the top of the back fence neatly placed next to my shed instead of being where it should be on the fence. Little girl next door says it might be her brother 'Because he keeps climbing over the fences' :mad: then backtracks very quickly to say it probably just fell off. GRR.

So, I need to put the wretched CCTV camera & hard-drive back on as I do not want the problems we've had before with criminal damage. & this meant bringing my TV back into my bedroom for DS1's where it's been sitting on his bedroom floor since he got a hamster as the hamster's cage goes where the TV was. & putting the TV on the bookshelf in my bedroom...

I'd been looking at the horrible cardboard box on the bookshelf in my bedroom for a while, hoping it was going to fix itself & not be falling apart; magically tidy all the cables up & make it so I knew what they were for; or put itself away in the cupboard of doom so at least I couldn't see it. Only it hadn't. Well, this gave me the impetus I needed and I gave them to DS1 with the project of cable tying & labelling them & storing the collection in a clear plastic under bed box that we're trying to free from unwanted PS2 & games. He says it took him 10 minutes though they're not all labelled yet.

As I'd not done much de-richarding though it certainly looked better, all I'd actually got rid off was 4 plant pots & a cardboard box. So I sat on the sofa with a large cloth bag that had been lurking in the hat basket. Oh, that's where my good umbrella was (I found the other 1 upstairs the other day in a bag with some shorts I'd bought DS2 that were still waiting for him to try on) I needed to put 2 pieces of paper away, shred 3 pieces, mark 'moved away' on 1 letter & put in post box. And recycle a bin full of other paper and throw away a handful of rubbish. Opaque bags are a problem! I need to be able to see stuff if I [STRIKE]can't[/STRIKE] don't deal with it straight away.

schoolrunmum

My, what a thread! Incredibly, even after 20 years I was never allowed inside my MIL house, as she was too ashamed of the hoard. After she died OH said I could go in but I chose not to see it-she plainly didn't want me to when she was alive so I respected her wishes.
Took DH several weeks and many skips to empty her house, find homes for all her animals etc. She had almost 30 bank accounts, and had kept all the paperwork for each one for many years...furniture was piled floor to ceiling with just a narrow gap to squeeze through,dogs had defaecated everywhere rotting carpets and floors. Rats living in drawers full of papers.Just a mess, a complete mess. She refused to accept there was a problem and DH had tried many times to help, but she just wouldn't part with anything.

Brighton_belle

Yay Beanie!:j Welcome to the thread. Lots of good ideas and exploring why we hoard and find it hard to let go on the thread.

SpikyHedgehog wrote: »

I cut the grass, & managed to plant out the 4 perennials I'd got in M0rris0ns the other day. I'm not quite as bad as mother who buys plants to put in the garden then ends up doing absolutely nothing with them & having to compost their remains. But I need to battle the tendency.

Yes, I have let go of my garden fantasy because any enthusiasm barely lasts past the purchase of plants and they all die from neglect. It's a case of survival of the fittest out there now. Ditto house projects: I now aim to do them one at a time rather than buy all the paint and tools for everything I want to do etc, because I know I will run out if steam if I aim too high. The DIY store may be offering 15% off but it still isn't a bargain when it hangs around forever and I eventually chnage my mind anyway.

RAS , thanks for sharing your story. It is becoming more and more clear the long term impact childhood experiences can have on our relationship with stuff.

calicocat

Thanks for the replies re: bank etc papers.

I don't have many hospital ones but probably do need to keep them for work as it is an ongoing problem (but minor really most of the time) ,just handy to keep a record I think of when I have seen consultant etc.
I don't have a computer , so no on-line banking , but may well have 8yrs , so could get rid of half at least (not SE, and on no benefits).

Onward and outward guys:). Unless I crash I will be back at it tomorrow.

Byatt

Another garden plant buyer...in my defence it's very wet out there.

Spiky, well done, :T Do you think your friend was not so much shocked at the change in an unaccepting way, but could she have thought, wow, this looks great, I need to do something at mine.

wannabe_sybil

Re papers - I think I mentioned up thread that I make notes of everything in google calendar and google docs (or aim to). I don't need to keep any pieces of paper with dates of when lock ins expire or telephone and reference numbers as they are all there. I keep original copies of certificates etc, but nothing much more.

I am looking for something similar for an address book, and have just made the situation more urgent as I have lost my physical address book.

I feel a bit low. I have got rid of quite a bit over the last fortnight, but I am still stepping over stuff and losing stuff and not finding things because of stuff. All I can say is, this is no excuse to stop and if I keep going it will keep getting better.