Hoarding...not just on TV

GreyQueen

(((((((((((((((((((((((Jo Jo))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Possession

Oh Jo Jo I really feel for you.

flippin36

Jojo this isn't acceptable - your sister is right. Let social services deal with it. You don't deserve this. How's your cat this morning?

mummyyof5

Oh JoJo...I dont know what to say...totally agree with the other posters...this is far too much for you to take on alone....your mum obviously needs professional help..Loads of hugs for you and your cats xxxxx

elona

JoJo

It says a lot about you that you tried at all, far more when you consider the worry, stress and abuse on top of the filth and rubbish to shift.

Hitting you may actually have helped you cut to the nub of the situation and realise you had to walk away (better still - run!)

She would be furious if she realised she had unwittingly helped you get free of her manipulation and ill treatment.

Hope things get better for your cat and your dd realises grass is not greener elsewhere.

Hobsons_Choice

JoJo: What an awful time you're having at the mo. Concentrate on yourself for a while, let the professionals deal with your mum and above all do not feel guilty about this. You've gone above and beyond the call of duty and no-one could have tried harder.
((((hugs))))) about the cat. Your daughter will come to her senses eventually and realise she was far better off with you.

Byatt

Jo-Jo walk away, she could have killed you with a blow to the head. Your well being is vitally important, you tried and that's more than a lot of people would have done in the same circumstances.

I'm sorry about your cat and about your DD. I am sure your DD will see what a great mum you are, but sometimes our children have to learn the hardway.

((((((((((((((((JOJO)))))))))))))))

meg72

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I got hit today. I was really careful not to order her around or throw stuff without her seeing it. But as I was getting ready to go, I let my guard slip and said I probably didn't need what she was going to give me. (an umbrella). Without seeing it coming, I got smacked in the head by a garden rake which jumped two foot back, turned 70 degrees and hit me side on with full power. I still didn't realise I had been hit until I looked round and saw her laughing. She reckons it fell without being touched.


So I emailed my older half sister, who confirmed I probably wasn't imagining it as she battered my eldest brother. And told me to tell social services and walk away.

Seeing as I'm probably up all tonight with a dying cat, another one is due at the vet on weds and I have to get all the paperwork sorted in court next Monday for my youngest to live with her father as she wants to live somewhere that she isn't made to glean her room, I really don't need this.


I'm out.

I know from experience that thats a heartbreaking decision but it is for the best. I had to stop trying to help my dear Mum when she began to be abusive . I looked after her day and night for sixmonths and it cost me dearly in terms of my own health . Would like to send you a big hug. As others have rightly said inform social services and concentrate on your own needs. You can still stay in touch with your Mum, and you will know you have done your level best for her.:A

jwil

I could have written your first post Jojo, it's very hard to deal with. In our case we only managed to start clearing the house after the death of the relative. 4 years later we are still working through the possessions.

It's made me certain that I want my house clear and I am slowly decluttering my own belongings as well as the rest of that house. I only want stuff around me that truly means something to me now.

Sorry things have got more awkward with your Mum though, I don't blame you for stepping away - it's very difficult to get through to someone suffering from this compulsion.

BitterAndTwisted

Jojo you have absolutely made the right decision. Most women would want to help their parent, even when they are suffering serious conflict about needing to. Being assaulted for your trouble is just one beating too many. She's obviously very, very unwell (and dangerous) so you can now with good conscience leave it to people who are qualified to help her as you have quite enough on your plate already. Your priorities are, quite rightly, towards your own safety and well-being. You have tried to do for her far, far more than she ever deserved.

The strange thing is that my own darling Mum became extremely lax in her housekeeping standards when she got older, even though as a German hausfrau our homes were spotless during childhood. She had far too much furniture and this was one of the excuses for not replacing the filthy and stinking carpeting in her living-room. It was only when she became hospitalised for a long time that my sister and BIL went round and painted and decorated in their spare time as they both worked full-time. They bought her beautiful brand, spanking-new carpeting and sofas at their own expense. I was the one who cleaned and scrubbed the kitchen and bathroom. It all looked and smelled lovely and clean and tidy but what did she do when she was taken round there to visit? She cried and complained that we had "interfered". Well, it's true, we had but I doubt she would have been discharged to go back and live in that mess. The saddest thing is that she was never well enough to go back home, so she never got any pleasure from it in the end and all our hard work turned out to be for nothing.