Hoarding...not just on TV

Byatt

Hi McColloch, nice to see you, (as a btw completed my SA and had a refund!)

I have got rid, or will do, another elephant...my DD bought me loads as I love elephants and it's been hard to decide that keeping them all is not really an option, she now has a lot of the valuable ones, but I have been sentimental of course, but decided I would keep one of hers and the rest will go. I've kept moving them about trying to find a place for them, but it's juts not working. I now have 2 elephant bookends that my mother gave many Xmas' ago, one ele from my DD and one ele from a friend. Bearing in mind I had about 30-40 :eek: I think that's pretty good. :rotfl:

Oh, there are 2 fluffy ones in the bedroom, but I'm not counting them, yet.

Regarding toiletries, I came to the decision a week ago to get rid of years old stash. This was prompted by me deciding to use a coconut coniditoner for a clothes conditioner, until that is I smelled (smelt?) it...no smell whatsoever! So, everything that was hanging about on the off chance I would need/use it went in the bin. My bathroom looks so much better. And I can now choose to get something I really like and which I will use and not leave hanging about for years. I've realised if it's that old, I'm never going to use it because I bought it on offer or a "great deal" (these great deals have cost me a small fortune over the years ) and not because I loved it. eta and I'm now using the Bayli$$ and Ha£ding soap for myself righ now instead of waiting till I used the drges of everything else.

DD and I have come to a kind of truce, mostly on my side. I'm still not spending Xmas with her (her choice), but I'm ok with that now. I am also realising, that grieving over the loss of what you thought life was going to be like with your child, doesn't end when they grow up. It's a new era for me and I can't change other people, but I can change myself. A cliche, but so true.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

TBH, Byatt, putting your hopes on one day would probably lead to more upset for you, due to various influences rearing their head. And so much worse for it happening on that one day.

I'm sad to be missing mine. But I wouldn't want either here against their will, as that would be absolutely miserable for all concerned. I did have the pleasure of noticing the eldest has been adding a lot of rather cute looking young men as friends on her FB - and they all seem to be rather musical, which, as the first boyfriend put a stop to all that once he realised there were boys interested in music when she wanted to sing, was nice to see. And her father would dislike/mistrust all of them on that basis alone


Started the day with making bird cake. And then drinking coffee whilst watching the cat shake himself into a gibbering heap watching the resultant garden wildlife through the kitchen door



I put some opaque glass doors on my two bookcases today, plus sorted through what would have been a mountain of paperwork and miscellaneous paper gibble five foot high. (to make it possible to fit & shut the new doors - I'm human, too, guys :whistle:)


As I was doing that, I got the drawers out of the filing cabinet and did the same with them.


About five hours later, the recycling crate is filled exactly up to the brim and it weighs a ton (eight stone, actually) - it's all going to be burned as a) it's very personally identifying information and b) I want a bonfire

This means that I now have about an hour of fine detail sorting, a couple of things to act upon that flagged up when I went through it all - and one cardboard folder of sentimental stuff that will live at the bottom of the cabinet.


My next attack is on the CDs - I have an iPod, an iPhone and two computers. I really have no need for physical media, so I've letting someone take their pick from them and then getting rid of the rest.



At some point, I really have to get on with the ********* tree. But if I can get hold of some silver birch branches, that's what I'll have instead.



But dinner is ready (roast chicken) and then I'm off out again for a jam session.

Patchwork_Quilt

Glad to hear Byatt that you have come to some sort of neutral place with your daughter. It's true that one can spend years hoping that a relationship will somehow turn into the one you expected or wanted and that in the end, one has to accept that the other person just isn't interested or like that. It's a hard place to come to but it hurts less and you can go on from there. I think mothers and daughters can have an especially hard time with this.

In other news, clutter seems to be coming into this house now that Christmas is imminent. I have contained the presents by wrapping them at once and placing them under the tree. Ha! A plastic table and chairs from the allotment have arrived in the garden so that we can seat the Discipleship Group on Thursday for our Christmas meal and very shortly, a large amount of shopping will also come into the house. However, you may be pleased to know that almost all the Christmas card hoard has been used up and posted. Our brown paper stash has been decimated because I used it to wrap our presents with a very tasteful 'C0untry L1ving' style holly leaf on each one. I have used up all the medium-sized gift bags on presents for other people and some of the cellophane sheets that I hoarded from bunches of flowers DH gave me earlier this year. I am feeling slightly worried in case we need cellophane, brown paper or gift bags but I am making myself believe we will collect enough next year for when we need it.

Decluttering is a good thing. Thank you for all your posts and don't lose heart.

Brighton_belle

whitewing wrote: »

We haven't had that many cards yet but those we have are now hung up nicely.

With our xmas cards, what usually happens is they arrive and I spend 5 weeks feeling 'I really ought to hang them up', putting a few up that then get in the way/fall down etc and feeling vaguely guiltily unappreciative of the rest as they sit there un attended. This year I am actively choosing not to hang them and it feels great.

Can't see how amazon can make you keep a book for the rest of your life.

Byatt, I am seriously impressed with the elephant and toiletries cull:T And ditto how you are coming to terms with your latest personal disappointment.

Discovered yesterday that in the 5 years since I last read my favourite novel, the print seems to have drastically shrunk! It is now on the c.s. pile:D. I can borrow my mum's copy which was the original one I fell in love with anyway.

Hope your dold is improving GQ and doesn't leave you wiped for ages.

katep23

Hi Byatt, sorry it's not the resolution you would hope for but glad you are back on speaking terms with your daughter.

It must be so hard for you and Jojo to have issues with your dds and be waiting for them to come to a realisation which is obvious from the outside - I don't have children so can't really comprehend but thoughts are with you both.

Got a fire, had a few glasses of wine and am feeling mellow. Absolutely no de-richarding done - in-laws only stayed 3 hours which was long enough to eat but no wardrobe sorting was done. Never mind, have got almost 2 weeks off over Christmas so hope to get some more sorting done then.

Byatt

Jo-Jo, that's such a true statement, thank you. Good news about your DD and her new friends, I know you were worried a little while back, the BF might turn up again, so glad he didn't.

PQ, yes mother/daughter relationships can be very fraught.

Thanks BB & Kate,

Don't tell the wild life people about my ele cull though! :cool::eek:

GreyQueen

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Hope your dold is improving GQ and doesn't leave you wiped for ages.

I'm mending nicely, thanks hun. With ME and a life-threatening illness, a dold on the top is a bliddy nuisance but I worked out a strategy yonks ago.

I got to bed really really early. Even 7 pm if I'm whacked. And I snuggle down for 10-12 hours. Works a treat.

When people ask me what my hobby is, I'm tempted to say sleeping. LOL.

Was talking to Mum on the phone who is having forty-fits about having Nan (her MIL) over for Xmas. Due to distance travelling and infimity, Nan stays over for several nights. Folks give up their bedroom and sleep on the sofabed downstairs. They have a spare box room but the cabin bed in there is about 4 feet above ground and no way suitable for a lil ole lady of 5 feet nothing.

Mum said she recalled clearing off a table and some other bedroom surfaces last year before Nan's visit and she stuffed the contents in boxes into the loft. She just went up there to look for some empty boxes to do the same and the 2011 ones are still there, untouched for the past 11.5 months.

Mum's just said for the nth time that she really must get her bedroom sorted out and I've made supportive noises and volunteered help if I'm there but I suspect it will be another false start. All of this decluttering was postponed until she retired and now she's been retired several years and it's still postponed...........:p

Ach well, it's her house and her life and if push comes to shove I'm still planning to purchase an aircraft escape chute and attach it to the loft hatch and whizz everything outside and into a skip.

Today I have used up a jar of honey and washed it for the recycling with no Conversation about keeping it and found some bumph related to the pooter. I've kept the important stuff but do I need glossy blurb from the company wot made it (no longer trading)? Methinks not.

Managing to get a c.s. donation bag off the premises about once a week and it feels so nice to hand it over. I did see a top that I'd bought (from another c.s.)and re-donated alst week and not used as I thought I would which was on rack and they're asking £4.99 for it, plus the gift aid on top, and that will be of use to someone in need of the charity's help which means that it becomes a useful item instead of a useless one.

Shedding is such a happy feeling. I'm not even keeping the envelopes my Xmas cards come in and will recycle the cards for that tree charity thingummy in the New Year.

Onwards and outwards. I'm just about to declutter a home made mini pizza from th fridge.

whitewing

I broke my daughter's melamine bowl when it fell out of the cupboard. She came to investigate, then showed daddy, and then it went straight into the bin.....it wasn't a decision, it went in naturally but I still felt echoes that at some past point it would have magnified in my mind into some issue of huge significance.

blossomhill_2

Brighton_belle wrote: »

With our xmas cards, what usually happens is they arrive and I spend 5 weeks feeling 'I really ought to hang them up', putting a few up that then get in the way/fall down etc and feeling vaguely guiltily unappreciative of the rest as they sit there un attended. This year I am actively choosing not to hang them and it feels great.

Brave move! I do the opposite, I leave transparent fishing line hung up above the picture rails all year round - it gets used for brithdays and bunting too - it is so invisible that this year I had to feel around to check it was still there!
I have disposed of a whole working life's employment records, bar certificates of service, training certs, awards, P60s and pension bumpf - scary!

GreyQueen

blossomhill wrote: »

Brave move! I do the opposite, I leave transparent fishing line hung up above the picture rails all year round - it gets used for brithdays and bunting too - it is so invisible that this year I had to feel around to check it was still there!
I have disposed of a whole working life's employment records, bar certificates of service, training certs, awards, P60s and pension bumpf - scary!

Are you my Mum's long lost sister? She has a strand of yarn stretched around her living room walls for this same purpose. After all, once you've taken the decs and cards down on Twelth Night, it's only another 11.5 months until you'll need it again and it's not really worth taking it down, is it? :rotfl: