Problems with foreign student

lostinrates

toriap wrote: »

Hi
I have no experience of Living with teenage boys so don't
Know if he is normal or not! He eats 4 slices of toast for breakfast, if at home, whatever he can find fir lunch, dinner is usually a cooked meal with pudding snacks, more toast and chocolate. When he is at school, he only eats fruit apparently as he has to pay for that himself
He refuses to wash up after dinner when it is his turn and I had to teach him how to make his bed as his mum does it for him at home.

as I said I'm not that fussed about 2 showers but he keeps missing his slot and then jumping in late so we all have to work round him.
He does not go anywhere with us or do anything except watch tv or surf the net. His predicted grades are F for his AS levels but we can't force him to do the work. Have phoned head office and they said they will talk to the rep and his parents. Thankyou for all your responses and for letting me rant!

In some places even in europe the culture is still very much that a mother (or sister) does the domestic work while the man struts about looking pretty That is acceptable for them but not us, so you showed him how to make a bed...that seems fair to me.

I don't think sounds like too much food tbh.....young men have hollow legs.

I also think 'some' recreational internet use is fair really. But i also think the utings should have been 'compulsory' options.

Acc72

toriap wrote: »

It is because he is supposed to be studying not downloading films or on Facebook.

His parents spent a lot of money to and him here but he just does nothing.

We live in a fab city but he won't go anywhere or do anything.

He has no friends so my friends invited him to play football or go to concerts but he says he can't be bothered.

Non of the above is your business.

Is this the first time you have taken in a student ? - what was your motivation for doing so ?

It sounds to me as though the student sees you as a nagging landlady whereas you see yourself as a surrogate parent.

j.e.j.

toriap wrote: »

I am considering it but the rep says if we kick him out he has to go home and his parents would lose a lot of money as no other host family will take him!

As someone has said, this is emotional blackmail, - the rep trying to make YOU feel guilty. Don't give in to it. If his behaviour is that bad ask him to leave. Mind if I ask where he's from?? I know there are sometimes 'cultural differences' in what is and what isn't acceptable behaviour, but even so it sounds like he's overstepped the mark.

Sezzler

def put password etc on the internet, as well as limiting certain sites e.g. Youtube for instance.
if he is part of your household then its not a massive ask that he contributes a little. if he doesn't fancy doing the washing up after dinner... fine then... no cooked dinner..

embob74

toriap wrote: »

He eats 4 slices of toast for breakfast, if at home, whatever he can find fir lunch, dinner is usually a cooked meal with pudding snacks, more toast and chocolate. When he is at school, he only eats fruit apparently as he has to pay for that himself
He refuses to wash up after dinner when it is his turn and I had to teach him how to make his bed as his mum does it for him at home.
as I said I'm not that fussed about 2 showers but he keeps missing his slot and then jumping in late so we all have to work round him.
He does not go anywhere with us or do anything except watch tv or surf the net.

I don't have experience of teenage boys but do have 2 (almost 3 ) teenage girls.
One barely touches water and the other is a little OCD about cleanliness so does tend to shower twice a day. Which has never bothered me. If the boy misses his slot then he doesn't get the bathroom until everybody has had their turn. My eldest likes to lie in and then moans she has to wait for the bathroom but it's her choice to do that so I couldn't care less!
As for eating.....my eldest is super skinny and yet eats loads. HUGE bowl of cereal every morning, sandwich and crisps for lunch then constant snacking until dinner and more snacking afterwards.
Unless you are buying caviar I don't understand how you can lose money by feeding him? 4 slices of toast is nothing IMO. If you don't want him eating snacks you have paid for then put them away and he'll have to buy his own.
I don't think he's unique in being a teenager that spends all the time online......I only find out what's going on in my kids lives by checking facebook lol.

FatVonD

toriap wrote: »

He eats constantly, takes two showers a day and lives on the Internet! Is this what all teenage boys are like?

That's what mine is like, minus the showers :rotfl:

BitterAndTwisted

The advantage of having someone staying in your home who is not your own is that you do not have to deal with them if you don't want to.

Who cares whether this kid's parents will be losing money if they are asked to leave for the fifth time? They should have made a much better job of raising their child then, shouldn't they?. Perhaps by getting shot of this one you could be doing them all a favour in the long-term? In any case, just ask him to leave.

Selfishness and poor manners are bad enough from our own nearest-and-dearest. I wouldn't be prepared to tolerate it from a stranger.

KiKi

Seriously, his parents losing money is NOT your problem.

Tell HO you want him out by tomorrow. This is your home, for crying out loud.

KiKi

Gigglepig

I don't think these sound like massive problems. Since you are not a parent, his attitude is not your problem to correct. I think a live and let live approach may work.

- doesn't do his bed - does it really matter? It is his bed, and as a near adult he can make up his own mind.
- won't do dishes - could this be because he his parents have paid for meals to be included, and in the same way as he wouldn't be expected to cook, he expects not to do dishes? If he has paid then it is a bit like a cafe, if you see what I mean.
- showers twice a day - this is not abnormal. Main thing is that he respects allocated times. If he doesn't stick to his allocated time then tough, he has to wait.
- lots of toast for breakfast - again sounds completely normal! It sounds very odd to begrudge him the food.
- internet usage- depends; was there an expectation that internet would be included in the board? If so, he has paid for it. If not, explain that you have a limited internet account and sadly it has been used up, set a password on it and suggest other places (library, school, starbucks...?) where he can get free internet.

There are far worse things he could be doing than keeping to him self on the internet.

I understand that he is annoying but I'd just ignore it, alternatively try to talk to him and learn a bit more about who he is and what he is interested in.

paulwellerfan

he sounds like a dream- compared to my DD.
least your getting paid for it.
and he will be leaving next month.