Problems with foreign student

lostinrates

PasturesNew wrote: »

I used to get £2/night/person when families were getting about £12-15/night/person (can't remember exactly how much now). BUT .... I'd have paid a family £15+/night to take 2-3 students rather than having 2-3 left over. When you have a batch, you can't just have 2-3 left over and go "sorry - got no host for them". I saw taking the occasional loss as part and parcel of the job.

If I were paid £2/night/person for 4 night trips of 50 people, I was getting £400 for the organising, communicating, advertising/recruiting hosts and meeting every bus at every stop and dealing with all the problems. Organised well, that's a breeze... so it's worth paying a bit extra to lessen the stress of not having enough families. I'd rather end up with £200 and everybody happy, than try to hold onto the £400 and bring down the wrath of parents whose kids didn't have a bed for the night.

One family actually disappeared/did a runner the day before the coach arrived one year! Two girls did a runner to look for boys on one of the days out and caused the whole coach to be delayed another time ... and I had one fat boy who broke the bed bouncing on it (I paid for the fix out of my pocket).

Most organisers are self-employed and paid "per student/per night" so losses etc are part of that whole self-employment thing.

I think we discussed it at the time pn. A taxi from here in would have cost ten-15 pounds a day, and she offered me more per night too.

Reps should make a profit, no one can deny that, but i felt the who.e thing was underhand, and teens should definitely mot have been sent to a home that had not been checked! You hear all the time about life at the wreck, and i would not have taken people at that time, not, do i think i would have passed a home check.:o

toriap

Hi
I have blocked his Internet at night, which caused a major tantrum and we did set the rules when he came, he ignores them. We set a bathroom rota in the mornings as all of us need to be out the house at about the same time but he just ignores this as well, Thankyou for all your replies. I think his parents sent him here to get rid of him for a year. The rep is now not responding to my emails texts or calls so I will call head office later to see if they have any advice.

lostinrates

toriap wrote: »

Hi
I have blocked his Internet at night, which caused a major tantrum and we did set the rules when he came, he ignores them. We set a bathroom rota in the mornings as all of us need to be out the house at about the same time but he just ignores this as well, Thankyou for all your replies. I think his parents sent him here to get rid of him for a year. The rep is now not responding to my emails texts or calls so I will call head office later to see if they have any advice.

Please tell the head office the rep is not contactable. If you have a difficult teen and they know this then imo this is not on.

Living with a seventeen year old who is having tantrums as opposed to 'grumps' is not reaonable, i would send him home

pink68

I had my 18 year old neice to stay for only four nights last year. I'd always found her delightful and charming and felt she was very hard-done-by her parents who didnt seem to appreciate how delightful she was.

All i can say is after the four nights i COMPLETELY understood her parents attitude toward her. She was unco-operative, unsociable, moody, always on her phone or texting, didnt lift a finger to help with anything and stunk my spare room out!

Now shes back home again shes back to being my delightful neice. Some teenagers just aren't ready to stand on their own two feet. I'd contact his parents and ask them to speak to him explaining if it doesnt work out he'll be back home sooner than planned.

Good luck!

*onlyme*

Manners and politeness don't cost anyone, whatever country/culture you come from.

You should not be bullied or blackmailed into keeping him in your home if he can not accept basic rules and requests.

You need to put yourself and your family first and if you can not live happily in your home, if he doesn't want to integrate etc what is the point of having him there.

sulkisu

I have to say that for me and mine, two showers/baths a days is the absolute norm. I wouldn't be too happy being restricted to one - it would be like brushing my teeth once a day.

Teenagers - especially teenage boys do eat constantly. Can you give an example of what you mean by this, just to see if it is completely at odds with what some might expect? Similarly, teenagers do seem to spend every waking moment attached to the internet, mobile phone, games consoles etc.

Do you have teenage sons yourself - i.e. I mean now, as opposed to grown up sons who were teenagers when the world was a different place? I'm just wondering if this is normal teenage behaviour which you were perhaps not prepared for and not expecting?

toriap

Hi
I have no experience of Living with teenage boys so don't
Know if he is normal or not! He eats 4 slices of toast for breakfast, if at home, whatever he can find fir lunch, dinner is usually a cooked meal with pudding snacks, more toast and chocolate. When he is at school, he only eats fruit apparently as he has to pay for that himself
He refuses to wash up after dinner when it is his turn and I had to teach him how to make his bed as his mum does it for him at home.

as I said I'm not that fussed about 2 showers but he keeps missing his slot and then jumping in late so we all have to work round him.
He does not go anywhere with us or do anything except watch tv or surf the net. His predicted grades are F for his AS levels but we can't force him to do the work. Have phoned head office and they said they will talk to the rep and his parents. Thankyou for all your responses and for letting me rant!

totallybored

He sounds like an average teenager. I'm not sure why there is a problem with him spending all his time on the Internet, surely that keeps him quiet and out of he way?

toriap

Hi

It is because he is supposed to be studying
, not downloading films or on Facebook. He uses all our allowance so noone else can download anything. His parents spent a lot of money to and him here but he just does nothing. We live in a fab city but he won't go anywhere or do anything. He has no friends so my friends invited him to play football or go to concerts but he says he can't be bothered. So glad I don't have my own teenager!

Sambucus_Nigra

toriap wrote: »

Hi

It is because he is supposed to be studying
, not downloading films or on Facebook. He uses all our allowance so noone else can download anything. His parents spent a lot of money to and him here but he just does nothing. We live in a fab city but he won't go anywhere or do anything. He has no friends so my friends invited him to play football or go to concerts but he says he can't be bothered. So glad I don't have my own teenager!

Did you miss the bit about turning the internet off? Or put a password on it and don't let him have it.

Give him a list of your rules and if he doesn't meet them, pick the phone up and call the rep.