Problems with foreign student

toriap

Hi
We are currently hosting a 17 year old boy and we are struggling to cope. He is arrogant, rude lazy and he lies about everything! We are his 4 th host family in 10 months and I am seriously considering asking him to leave. Does anyone have any experience of dealing with teenagers who are not your own?


Thankyou

meritaten

If you are his 4th host family who finds him impossible - then ask him to leave. You are NOT his family hun and if he cannot respect the rules then tell him to leave.

londonsurrey

I know someone who is doing very nicely out of hosting foreign students. She has a large house, and can take six at a time. After a steep learning curve, she is quite ruthless about which ones she takes, and has no problem with asking the ones like you describe to leave.

There are plenty of perfectly decent young folk out there, but there are some where you wonder what on earth the parents were thinking.

sulkisu

Move him on to his 5th....

toriap

I am considering it but the rep says if we kick him out he has to go home and his parents would lose a lot of money as no other host family will take him! he is due to leave at the beginning of July So not long to go now. I just try to avoid him! Wish I was doing nicely out of it
He eats constantly, takes two showers a day and lives on the Internet! Is this what all teenage boys are like? At this rate, it's like we're paying to have him here! Oh well, rant over. Thankyou for your replies

claire16c

Why not just tell him he can have one shower a day and if he wants more food he'll have to buy it himself or contribute to bills? Although hes a teenager hes 17 he should in no way be being rude to his hosts- and its clear he hasnt learnt his lesson if youre the 5th family!

Unless you say something hes got no reason to change. Have you spelled it out to him what you expect/allow?

I stayed in hosts houses when we went travelling and I wouldnt have dreamt of disrespecting the families - but most laid out clear rules of what they expected at the start so there was no confusion- as I think theyd had problems in the past with a couple of people.

For instance one family asked if we could please shower in the evenings instead of the morning so we didnt wake them up as the Dad worked shifts, and to try to be fairly quick to make sure there was enough hot water for the 6 people in the house. If they hadnt told me that I could easily have had a shower in the morning without knowing I would have been annoying them.

So whilst he sounds like a pain, just make sure he knows why! And if you do send him back home - perhaps it will teach him a lesson if his parents made him pay them back!

faerie~spangles

Sit him down and tell him his attitude is unacceptable and unless he shows respect you want him to leave. You will also give a letter to be passed to his parents re' his bad attitude.

I certainly would not worry about any monies his parent lose.

Sambucus_Nigra

Turn the freaking internet off then!

lostinrates

toriap wrote: »

I am considering it but the rep says if we kick him out he has to go home and his parents would lose a lot of money as no other host family will take him! he is due to leave at the beginning of July So not long to go now. I just try to avoid him! Wish I was doing nicely out of it
He eats constantly, takes two showers a day and lives on the Internet! Is this what all teenage boys are like? At this rate, it's like we're paying to have him here! Oh well, rant over. Thankyou for your replies

His parents will lose money? Seems like you are losing money!

The internet, and eating probably is pretty normal, and i would rather have a teenager showering twice a day than not enough, but i think its too late to set down ground rules that would have helped about what can be eaten between meals and internet usage.

However, if all the other homes have given up then the issues clearly extend beyond the normal and i think that you should not be paying to keep him. I would explain to the rep he is costing you money you cannot afford and not making it a pleasure to do so.

Fwiw i took two students last year for a week (long story, i did not want them, but had enquired and the rep put me in the list, i was horrified...they had not seen my home or checked me, and it was abysmal for saftey for the students) and it cost me money too, i would not do it again, whoch is a shame, as i liked having them here!

DylanO

Kick him out then. I have to say however, that I'm perplexed why taking two showers is such a bad thing? Surely that's standard for everyone anyway?

Callie22

toriap wrote: »

I am considering it but the rep says if we kick him out he has to go home and his parents would lose a lot of money as no other host family will take him!

Not your problem - tbh the rep isn't really being fair palming him off on you. If he's that unpleasant then it's probably best if he does go home early.