Bedtime Hell !

MissKeith

I remember vividly at about this she struggling to get to sleep with the light nights, then we had the same problem with my step kids last year. Bizarrely, black out curtains did the trick. Have you tried that?

jellyhead

I remember all the arguing and whining that went on for ages at bedtime when I was younger. My sister was a year younger than me but we were treated the same - same bedtime, same pocket money, same toys at christmas, same rules about how long we could play out or how far we could go with friends, etc.

I was nearly 5 when my brother was born, but we all shared a room and the 3 of us went to bed at the same time, and faffed about and annoyed each other for hours after mum went downstairs. We used to call her and count how many calls we made before she came, or we would say rhymes or sing songs with words that sounded like 'mum' and shout those, and see if she came. It took ages, but she always came, so we kept doing it. I think perhaps if lights out had meant lights out and no more discussions and no more coming back upstairs then we would have gone to sleep instead of messing about.

I always wished my sister would shut up and let me go to sleep. If there had been a chance of mum punishing just her and not the rest of us then that might have worked. School teachers complained that I looked tired and I yawned a lot.

I think your youngest will soon get the hang of things if you are firm and consistent. My mum wasn't firm and we always knew that if we nagged or whined enough we could bully her into changing her mind, so we always had an incentive to misbehave. I've been consistent with my 2 and they know that if I make a threat I will always carry it out, even if that means one child is being punished and the other one isn't. I am not strict, so my punishments aren't harsh, and my rules aren't strict, but they do need to know that bedtime is for sleeping.

beautiful_ravens

Sparklebabey wrote: »

Totally off topic but are teeth cleaned after hot chocolate and before sleeping? Or once tucked in is that it for the night?

!!! It varies! Since teeth are brushed before bed and first thing in the morning, and no sugar is added to hot choc, I dont worry toooo much if the choc is after teeth time. And sometimes they have hot milk.

beautiful_ravens

Pink_flower wrote: »

thanks again for the replies,

tonight youngest was sent up to bed at 8pm, he brushed his teeth and then he read his book to me for a couple of minutes and was left to continue on his own. I then went downstairs where eldest was reading to OH, youngest came downstairs twice in that time with questions. Now they have both been tucked in and i can hear screaming and whining coming from their room,

its been a long day

Maybe if you put #1 to bed, do everything in the room and then lights out that will work better than going back downstairs/leaving the room all the time. Generally with mine its wash, teeth, go up, and get in bed and find school reading books, then I come in, read, story, talk, lights out, finished. Then on to the next one.

Mrs_Arcanum

The extra solo parent time up the older one gets is important as without this you can create more resentment. If you can organise turn & turn about with pre bedtime stories it might help. Remember the older one will need a more sophisticated story than the younger. Try stories with nice cliffhanger points where they only get to hear what happens next if they behave decently at bedtime.

Missli

I feel for you Pink flower. Mine were a pain when they had to share a room. Funnily enough, since they've had separate bedrooms its my eldest that is challenging. The youngest enjoys their bedtime.

I've had to be tough, and really lay it down to get good behavioural patterns. The youngest goes to bed between 6.30 -7pm, while the eldest is 7.30-8pm (so approx an hours difference between bedtimes). Its good to make this clear.

I have also included punishments, such as no tv, pc access, favourite toys being confiscated, etc. It makes me feel like a dragon when doing it, but it works (eventually).

I firmly believe in rewarding good behaviour though, so perhaps a reward chart for your youngest? They do work.

Pink_flower

tonights update,

tonight youngest went to bed at 7:45 (i took 15 mins off him for messing about yesterday) and tried to come down once to ask something but i was stood by the door so called up to him to remind him he would lose time and he went back to bed.

eldest went at 8pm, he stayed downstairs while we ate dinner and he gave me a huge hug and said how he enjoyed his time down with us he went up to bed without hassle,

altogether it felt like less shouting and warning tonight, hubby went in once as we could hear banging and bed jumping, that stopped as soon as he went in there and they went straight to sleep without further fuss.

This morning was also lovely as youngest got up at 7:30 and eldest stayed asleep until his brother went back and got him up at 8am :j:j

much much more positive - thanks again for all the little bits of advice :beer: