Am I being unfair (friend related)?

GobbledyGook

skypie123 wrote: »

If you've not been in touch for 2 years how did she know you were dating your ex again?

We still have acquaintances in common, as do the blokes. There were quite a few acquaintances in common at the party we went to together last weekend.


fluffnutter - that's awful. I have rubbish taste in friends because it seemed like they either all vanished into thin air or felt the need to introduce me to their one single male friend! It wouldn't have bothered me so much if it wasn't for the fact that normally it was just the girls who got together or the girls and the kids so it's not as if she was choosing between me and him.

Ach well. I shall politely decline. As it is for the past two years we've gone to the zoo as the weekend falls near younger daughters birthday. Besides which with a rampaging toddler boy on my hands I don't have 2 days to dedicate to baking (he doesn't do the playing quietly thing that his sisters were fond of!).

barbiedoll

fluffnutter wrote: »

one woman smiled at me all night asking whether the reason I was single was because I was a 'bit of a feminist'. I've never felt more humiliated in my life.

Sorry fluff but that made me laugh out loud! You should have said, "no, I'm single because I'm a bit of a slapper" (not that I'm implying that you are!:eek:)

OP, if you're feeling mischievous, why not ring said "friend" and say something like..."I'm sorry, I have received an invitation but I'm afraid that I have no idea who you are." When she explains, just keep saying "no, no, can't remember you at all." Eventually, do a big, exaggerated "Ohhhhhhhh yes, I remember you now, I wondered what had happened to you. But no, I don't really want to come to your event and spend my time with a stranger. Thanks anyway, byeeee"

Hehehehe!

Thumper7

Did you like this friend, was she a person who you got on really well with.

Did you try and keep the friendship up when you broke up with your ex, sorry if you have said so, but i've had a wee drink (its me birthday)

I'm a person who can have friends on a more than superfisal (oops spelling) level, who I am very good friend with but who are attached to my husband (army). As you can realise we drift apart but can pick the friendship up again no bother,

I also have my own real friends, who now that I live away are stll my friends although we don't keep in contact regularly.


D x

lostinrates

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Or....she really was busy with her kids and now they are about 2ish has realised the 2 years has flown by and she relooked at her address book and realised she forgot to invite you.

We don't actually know. So why not ask her?

Or she good have reluctantly let contact dop when asked by her husband for work politics reasons. She might genuinely have felt it would be conflicting, damaging for he husband or likely to put her in the unenviable position of informant. Pr that you might feel uncomfortable by contact with her.

I would not expect to be invited to every social event my friends put on either. Even regular annual ones.

GobbledyGook

The blokes didn't work together anymore so there was no work politics. I don't generally "expect" an invitation to every event put on by my friends, but I'd helped her with the event every year for 6 years so don't think I was being OTT to be suprised (and hurt) to be completely cut out of it. She hadn't forgotten to invite me as she actively hired a children's entertainer and asked someone else to bake in my place.

Thumper - I did try to keep up the friendship, but she just ignored all contacts.

Ach well you live and learn. I'm a completely rubbish judge of character. The two friends who were there for me through it all and my cousin are all the friends I need really. I don't really know why I bother, I seem to attract users, needy folks and those who take advantage. Cheers all.

FBaby

Why don't you give her the benefit of the doubt? For all you know, it is a complete coincidence and the thought that you might assume she invited you this time was because you were dating again might not even have crossed her mind. Such misunderstandings can happen so easily. I would get back to her, thank her whole heartedly and on the day, joke that you're glad invited again now that you are not single any longer (in a very cheeky way). What I would do next would be dependent on her reaction there and then.

sassyblue

What on earth is a slore? :rotfl:

Tbh OP l wouldn't have let myself be excluded years ago, you should have asked then why you'd been forgotten, despite helping out. Cheeky mare. That said, I think ld put her on the spot..... ignore the invite and when she asks if your going, enquire why you've suddenly got an invite given your exclusion before.

Thumper7

GobbledyGook wrote: »

The blokes didn't work together anymore so there was no work politics. I don't generally "expect" an invitation to every event put on by my friends, but I'd helped her with the event every year for 6 years so don't think I was being OTT to be suprised (and hurt) to be completely cut out of it. She hadn't forgotten to invite me as she actively hired a children's entertainer and asked someone else to bake in my place.

Thumper - I did try to keep up the friendship, but she just ignored all contacts.

Ach well you live and learn. I'm a completely rubbish judge of character. The two friends who were there for me through it all and my cousin are all the friends I need really. I don't really know why I bother, I seem to attract users, needy folks and those who take advantage. Cheers all.

It doesn't mean you are a complete rubbish judge of character, you thought you had a good friend, she on the other hand maybe thought she had a couple friend, if you know what I mean.

If you like her, and can see beyond the couple thing, maybe go and ask her, sort of jokingly if the only reason you got an invite was cos of your ex, and if she says yes, then leave. I must admit you gotta be a very strong person to do this or have a brass neck.

I couldn't, I must admit I'd go and be nice, but not keep her as a close friend..

d. x

lostinrates

GobbledyGook wrote: »

The blokes didn't work together anymore so there was no work politics..

If still working, or wanting to work in the same industry, damaging a network is bad business sense, especially in a difficult finacial climate. I think it is not nice, but i also think you are possibly writing of a nice but obviously fairweather friend too quickly if you can accept a fairweather relationship they can be very pleasant.

January20

lostinrates wrote: »

If still working, or wanting to work in the same industry, damaging a network is bad business sense, especially in a difficult finacial climate. I think it is not nice, but i also think you are possibly writing of a nice but obviously fairweather friend too quickly if you can accept a fairweather relationship they can be very pleasant.

"nice" fairweather friend? Who needs a "nice" fairweather friend? This persons seems to be someone who dropped the OP when she was in trouble and could have done with as many friends as possible. She obviously didn't value the OP's friendship enough to carry on with the relationship during those difficult times, but as soon as the OP is back with her ex, she sends invitations - and has the cheek to ask for help with preps for the event! Yep, really "nice" friend!! People like that should be cut out of one's life!