Family childcare when in labour, am I being unreasonable?

Bennifred

If your Mum is happy to fit in with your plans (you didn't make that clear?) then I would go ahead and make arrangements with her.
I'd say to your OH that it is YOUR labour and that it will be difficult enough without having to worry about your daughter. If he realy cared about your welfare he'd swallow his pride and go with the flow. I wouldn't get into an argument about it - I'd just arrange it and say that's what is happening. If he refuses to consider your feelings on the matter would you really want him there with you for the birth anyway?

busiscoming2

Yes he is being unreasonable. All the points you make are valid and doing it your way will also ease the stress from you.

averagemummy

my second one also arrived within 20 mins flat! Good job I was already in hospital after a false start!

If your mum is willing to look after your eldest I would also echo the advice above and just go ahead and make the arrangements with her. Hopefully she may be able to pick up your daughter - so your boyfriend may not even have to speak to her if that's his wish!

Then just tell him - this is what is going to happen etc.

kj*daisy

Yes you are being reasonable, your OH is being very unreasonable and tbh if this is generally how he behaves towards you I can possibly see why your mum might not be his no.1 fan. You make the arrangements with your mum, it's you having this baby, you need to be happy and calm.

Mrs_Imp

Tell him that if he wants his mum to look after your daughter, then he can jolly well give birth. But as it will be you giving birth, then you will go with what makes YOU feel less stressed.

The last thing you need when you go in to labour is to be worrying about arrangements for your daughter.

Adorabelle_2

Thanks for the replies and advice everyone.

Bennifred - yeah my Mum is happy to fit in with what I want whenever that may be

I think I will make a note of the advice given here and try and approach him. Unfortunately he is not very approachable but I will try my hardest to put my foot down! Wish me luck!

Person_one

Don't 'try', do!

Your boyfriend is not the boss of you, don't let his bullying make you forget that. He does not have final say, or veto power.

CH27

Adorabelle wrote: »

Thanks for the replies and advice everyone.

Bennifred - yeah my Mum is happy to fit in with what I want whenever that may be

I think I will make a note of the advice given here and try and approach him. Unfortunately he is not very approachable but I will try my hardest to put my foot down! Wish me luck!

I have concerns about your boyfriend's attitude. You seem almost scared of him.

peachyprice

Pah, your BF is about to be father to two children, it's about time he grew up, selfish sod.

Hopefully you'll go into labour while he's out at work and you can do things your way

becominganobsessivesaver

My second arrived within an hour and a half. Luckily my daughter was in a hotel with my mum (i was due to have a c section 5 hours after ds arrived!) The car journey to the hospital was bad enough, getting a little one out of bed and dropped off would have been hell! You just put your own plan together, and when you go into labour phone your mum, then the hospital and tell your OH when your mum's on her way. He surely won't be bothered to put his plan into action then. Alternatively leave him with your little one and let your mum be with you at the birth!