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Nice people thread part 6 - thrice by twice as nice :)

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  • michaels
    michaels Posts: 29,108 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    MiddyMum wrote: »
    Being a mixed race couple, I don't really encounter any prejudice. Sometimes, we get the odd stares from people in the street and I was once asked if my daughter was mine....she has a very pale complexion whereas I don't obviously. It's just ignorance really, I live my life day to day and don't really give it too much thought.

    DW gets the same. We both think that this mixture produces very cute kids so I bet your DD is beautiful too.
    I think....
  • MiddyMum
    MiddyMum Posts: 425 Forumite
    edited 5 October 2012 at 12:38AM
    I am doing what I said I would never do....gush about my daughter to other people! Here is a piccie of my little one, I will remove it before I go to bed.
    8k in 2015 Challenge ( #167)
  • MiddyMum
    MiddyMum Posts: 425 Forumite
    Aha. Well, there is no pone hair product. Curly hair is different.

    There are websites where you can find the techniques of 'curly girl' which is subtley different for different types of hair. Then you have to experiement.


    The curly girl technique recommend no shampoo ( I realised at the hair dressers last week? Week before? That I had not shampooed since last time I was there, which was...June. You can use very inexpensive conditioners to wash the hair, and heavier ones to condition it, but I use wen, or rather, recent conversion to the amazon much cheaper copy. (it's a 'cleansing conditioner'). I find there styling products carp though. Sounds gross, and is hard to get used to, but is so much better for hair. I used to get occasional itchy scalp, that has cleared up too.

    Doozergirl here, recommended morocan oil, which my hair did not like at first, but now drinks up. I recently bought two copy versions at tk maxx.

    Curly girl recommends no silicones. This works for most people but not me. I still use frizz ease, then a curl cream styling product...this has taken some years of experimentation, but I find a cream product is least drying to my hair and most frizz fighting.

    So, a normal hair washing night for me is, cleansing conditioner (which has to stay in hair a while, then rinse, then leave a little cleansing conditioner in (if using normal conditioner do the same, but which ever keep it away from scalp, mid lengths and ends) then oil, then frizz ease and curling cream mixed in the hand.....done. Sounds a faff, huh?

    Never brush it, try not to comb it. Afro comb (I use a cross over style one, or a tangle teaser when my fingers really will not do the job, but that rarely ever happens now my hair is in better condition).


    Managing curly hair varies between people and curl types, but it is possible!

    I also still where my hair in braids (but just one or two now, not 'kenro' style to protect it from weather and scrimp on product use. Quite often I just leave it with normal conditioner on in plaits.

    Sorry, that's a long answer. Although I don't do curly girl strictly it's a really excellent starting point for all curly and Afro hair.

    Thank you, I will definately try a few different products, I can't plait kenro, but I will need to learn quick!
    8k in 2015 Challenge ( #167)
  • Nikkster
    Nikkster Posts: 6,391 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    What a gorgeous pic middy :)
  • lostinrates
    lostinrates Posts: 55,283 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
    What a poppet Middy!

    I bought a packet cake to make with friend's toddler next time he is here and parent suggested I test it...glad I did, it stuck to the base of the butterfly pans. :(. Now I have serious cleaning up to do and when toddler comes we will make real cake.

    Toddlers parents are now head to head in access arguments and this is probably the last time I will get serious time to play with him without his mum about. :(. His mum was really upset and told mediation that I had been more of a regular feature in his life than any one of there close family, (with whom they are close, both sides) because he has spent some serious time with me. I was his second word (well, booby).

    It's really horrid to see people wrangling over their lives and how even loving parents end up in tangles over the child. :(. I had not realised but ofcourse dad had never spent twenty four hours alone with toddler before break up, but mum has spent fourteen days several times, and was sahm, so suddenly having to hand over her charge to someone who has behaved badly and disregards some of her parenting concerns is obviously difficult. :(

    Anyway, plan is that they will pop in for lunch once a fortnight on evey second hand over day, and then I will visit them every six weeks or so, so that he doesn't suddenly lose a person. By the time he is ready for school he will probably have no care about peoe who used to cuddle him and change his nappy, so it won't be a problem then.
  • lostinrates
    lostinrates Posts: 55,283 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
    MiddyMum wrote: »
    Thank you, I will definately try a few different products, I can't plait kenro, but I will need to learn quick!

    She might not need it. It certainly puts stress opn hair to be always tied back.

    Read curly girl, you can get second hand copies on amazon, or maybe try the library (I said it for viva).

    It's very difficult for curlies and mixed race hair in uk, peoe think that because it's not straight forward Afro it's easier, but that's not necessarily the case. E.g. There is an Afro carribean hairdresser here (thank goodness) but they took one look at me and said...would straighten really well, and were not willing to keep it the way I do. My ('normal') hairdresser is ok. They cannot style it (most cannot) but they colour it ok.
  • michaels
    michaels Posts: 29,108 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    My DKs don't get styling beyond twists, plaits or bunches/pony tail (including DS1) I think if you washed their hair often with something harsh (soap?) you could acheive a fro but it is basically much too soft to do anything but drop. Dw tends to use pump stray leave in conditioner from John Freida or Aussie Miracle although we keepmeaning to try Morrocan Oil.

    Tight corn-rows and chemical straitening can lead to bad alopecia later in life.
    I think....
  • michaels
    michaels Posts: 29,108 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Link to picture of my DKs for anyone new who hasn't seen it (please don't quote)
    I think....
  • chewmylegoff
    chewmylegoff Posts: 11,466 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    i wash my hair with water and no shampoo or anything, and style it by wiping my hand over it a couple of times to make it all vaguely lie in the same direction. it works fine. i recommend it.
  • lostinrates
    lostinrates Posts: 55,283 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
    michaels wrote: »
    My DKs don't get styling beyond twists, plaits or bunches/pony tail (including DS1) I think if you washed their hair often with something harsh (soap?) you could acheive a fro but it is basically much too soft to do anything but drop. Dw tends to use pump stray leave in conditioner from John Freida or Aussie Miracle although we keepmeaning to try Morrocan Oil.

    Tight corn-rows and chemical straitening can lead to bad alopecia later in life.

    My hair can fro, so can dh's, when it's longer. :D

    Rememeber as they get older girls do stuff which damages hair. Girls with ac hair or curls more than most. It's really important to try and nuture the love for natural hair IMO. It saves a lot of heartache, and for many girls at least, hair is 'us'. Bad hair days, rapunzel, crowning glory....these are all phrases for a reason. If you like your natural hair you can pretty much feel ok about who you are 'culturally'.
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