Nice people thread part 6 - thrice by twice as nice :)

fc123

Doozergirl wrote: »

I'd see if your builder definitely needs/wants Building Control plans. I know more about current building regs than our architect. If the work isn't absolutely massive and you're not dealing with a listed building where you have all sorts of arguing between conservation and building control, then a good builder will be able to do it on Building Notice, have a bit of a relationship with building control and save a few £s that way.

You definitely want more than one quote from a builder!

Cheers

OH says it's part of our planning conditions from the council. Maybe because we are on chalk on a hill...and double height?

OH is making a plan and workwise we are going to try and release him for a while as we could get the structure/shell done then he could put in the windows etc.

The nightmare is work would then go mental and he couldn't finish and we have the entire back of the house boarded up during winter, no kitchen and so on.

We are going to have to sit down and plan it out.

PasturesNew

fc123 wrote: »

...

I'm intrigued/nosey about what you're doing in my neck of the woods this weekend.

fc123

lostinrates wrote: »

Well ypu never know when you might need spare knickers.
:rotfl::rotfl:

When i came out they said they were confused my my foot twitching and i explained i had nprelaxd by imagining i was conducting the sounds .

Hospital was very delux, one of the nicest i have been to, and after wards i was euphoric but wired so my dad took me to the pub and gave me too large glasses of wine ( i did not take pain killers today or yesterday) and now i feel reaplaxed but a bit quesy:o:D.

Just have to wait now. Worst bit over for finding out so nothing for me to do but get on with life.



it is.

Glad it went OK.

I haven't ever been in a private hospital but I remember the stark difference between my ectopic (emergency NHS as it ruptured 2 days after I was discharged) and my sisters (BUPA).
It's something I keep meaning to do, get a monthly plan as our local trust has just gone bust so all routine stuff is on hold. Stepfather in law is waiting for a cataract and has been told it'll be ages now.

Sons circumcision was a nightmare too and we should have paid for the op but didn't think we needed to at the time. It wasn't dressed properly so became infected (and he had to google after care as no-one told him what he should or shouldn't do). It also didn't help that he arrived twice @ 7am for the op all psyched up to then have it cancelled after waiting around for several hours as there was no slot in the operating theatre afterall ...guess there were emergencies, so fair enough, but still a PITA.

fc123

LydiaJ wrote: »

Well, what a day!


Poor chap, he just wanted to go home, so I took him home, and later we had takeaway quietly just the three of us. By bedtime, although still adamant that he did not want to go to any kind of party of celebration, he was regretting not having said goodbye to everyone, and feeling awful that his final moments with his class had been in tears.

I have known for ages that the transition from primary to secondary school might well be very difficult for him, but for some unaccountable reason I was concerned about how he would cope starting at secondary in Sept rather than on how he would cope with the end of primary right now. How dim is that? He has a problem specifically with loss, not so much with new things. I feel that somehow I ought to have been able to manage the situation better, and am gutted for him that he feels his time with his class has ended on such a miserable note.

poor lad Sounds like you managed the situation fine to me though. It's so hard to know what to do sometimes as a parent too.
Maybe he could catch up with his special mates during the holidays. Is he moving to big school with many of them?

fc123

PasturesNew wrote: »

I'm intrigued/nosey about what you're doing in my neck of the woods this weekend.

We have been there once a decade ago and I really like the area.

We have a stockist there so I want to check them out plus see what's to let (shop wise) just out of curiosity. A lot of our regular Brighton customers used to come up from there too.

DD is unlikely to leave home for about 5 years I reckon but then we would like to move somewhere by the sea and have workspace from home (like an outbuilding).

We are also developing this resort theme for SS13 and a quintissential UK seaside town would be a good place for a flagship as it would be used to market the look.....it would have to pay it's own way but it would be more of an image that we could then use when we sell worldwide.
It's hard to explain.
Like a RL example of the entire concept ....then we use the visuals of it to market the range.

Apparently, it could be sunny yay!

PasturesNew

fc123 wrote: »

... see what's to let (shop wise) just out of curiosity.

Quite a bit; even I've noticed completely empty buildings saying they are retail spaces to rent, quite big places too.

fc123 wrote: »

Apparently, it could be sunny yay!

Well there's a first. I bought a ticket for the pier. It's 60p to go on, but if you pay £1 you get a season ticket (valid until the end of November), so I figured I'd get my money's worth and stumped up the full quid. Well ... it was quite windy out there today - and wet. It really got rough.

I'm guessing you're driving, else I'd offer a lift from the other place down to here. Offer of a lift from the other place is open. Loads of room for baggage etc - got a big car. You can even randomly make your mind up on the day, at the last minute - no skin off my nose.... I'm coming down this way anyway

LydiaJ

Thanks lir, Pastures and fc.

There are some redeeming features of the situation. Thank you for reminding me of some of them.

He is, as fc said, the opposite of "easily led" and is baffled by the whole concept that anybody might do bad/stupid things they don't really want to do just because of peer pressure. And yes, that's a huge strength for the rest of his life, and I too had seen the parallel between his situation and fc's DD's early return from her disastrous holiday. I had already identified that as something to be proud of in him, ages ago, but since the kids weren't doing anything wrong today, I hadn't specifically linked his not liking them to be noisy and wild with keeping himself out of trouble, so I'm particularly glad you pointed that out. (I do so feel for your DD, fc, but I also admire her for choosing to cut her losses and admit it had been a mistake to go.)

He is very happy that the two main and two subsidiary bullies are none of them going to the same secondary school as him. On allocation day, when he came home from school I asked him where the other children in his class were going. He hadn't bothered to find out anything about any of them except that those four were not going to be with him.

The kids he gets on best with are twin boys who live just the other side of the park from us, and whose mother has already suggested meeting up over the summer.

Out of a class of 23, there are 9 children going to one secondary, with the rest spread between 9 other schools. He's one of the 9 that will be together. The other 8 are kids he's happy to be with, including the twins, and they've all been put together in the same tutor group. (I'm rather pleased that most of the mothers I get on best with belong to that group of 9 kids too, and the other mothers that I'm friendly with will still be around in the primary playground next year so I'll see them when I'm there with DD.)

I am hoping perhaps he will feel just slightly better tomorrow once he's had some sleep. [Why isn't there a smiley for a rather wobbly attempt at a smile?]

PS Saddest moment of the day:
Me: Your class has been a constant thing in your life when other things have changed, hasn't it? Does the class splitting up make you feel that the world is a scary unsafe place to be?
Him: No, I worked that out years ago.
Me: What, you mean you worked out years ago that the world isn't safe?
Him (matter-of-factly): Yes.

lostinrates

Well dear lydia, he is right. Its not safe. He is very bright and sensitive, if he were less bright and insightful he might have thought only his world was not safe.

But thatys ok too, that the world is not safe.

In a safe world you cannot have humbling acts of courage. E.g. The Schindlers of this world, the the people who lead countries or armies, or medical teams. In a safe world we can not wonder at the fragilty of a butterfly or a birds wing...in a safe world this fragilty would be a norm not a wonder. we could not cheer scientific discovery, finding medical breakthrough, or technical improvment..it would not be needed. What pudding people we would be, and we would not have faith,or joy or love because they would have no counterpart.

Its an exciting world though. And i choose excitment and love and fear, even when i shake and cry. I needed to remember that tonight, i am grateful you shared that lydia, because in sharing it you and ds have helped me tonight, i only wish i could help you both atm too)

Davesnave

To be honest, Lydia, I don't think the school's idea of a fitting ending to Year 6 was entirely appropriate, so the failure to 'manage' the situation began with them.

The Last Day is always highly charged, and while it's good that the children feel sad to be leaving, it's very easy for the emotional element to snowball out of control. Group hysteria can so easily take over and, frequently, stupid or bad behaviour follows. Your DS was sensing that possibility.

Adults have a tendency to stage manage everything towards some Grand Finale, because this is what they see in the media, but we found that the Leavers' Assembly did that adequately, especially as it came at the end of a week of special activities, concerts etc. Afterwards, we wanted a period of quieter reflection and a gradual drifting away at the children's pace.

It depends upon the site, but the picnic seemed a splendid idea, but without any more razzamatazz.

While I agree with much of lir's post above, sometimes it pays to play safe. End of Year 6 is definitely one of those!

Nikkster

Oh lydia, poor ds. Hope he is feeling a little better after a nights sleep. I also agree with dn that the 'finale' wasn't really appropriate, let alone taking ds into consideration.