Nice people thread part 6 - thrice by twice as nice :)

michaels

Lydia

Doesn't sound good at all. I didn't see what happened on first vist to A&E but I did think that with break and bad swelling they wanted to wait until swelling had subsided before xrays normally so I am sure no harm has been done by delay. Do however make sure it is sorted properly, I broke 2 fingers playing 5-a-side, waited till next day for xray which probably wasn't a problem but because 1 finger was obviously very bad and I didn't realise the other was broken only the very bad one was treated properly and the other one would probably be better now had it also been splinted/set straight.

I would be inclinded to report to the police unless the school were very proactive in dealing with it. I think someone previously came up with the correct terminology to use when worrie dabout bullying.

LydiaJ wrote: »

Hi oldMcD :hello:

Update for those who saw my posting "elsewhere" about DS's finger. (BTW, Pastures, elsewhere is down, but there's no rush for you to sort it out. I know you have much more important things to deal with.)

I finally decided to phone NHS direct last night. I had a very helpful chat with a specialist orthopaedic nurse, who decided there was some cause for concern and I ought to take him back to A&E. So we went this morning. Soooo different from afternoon/evening A&E. We arrived at 8:45am and saw receptionist, nurse practitioner, X-ray, consultant and nurse P again, and receptionist to make fracture clinic appointment, and were all done and back out again within the hour.

It's fractured, but only a nice neat crack and nothing out of place. We've been given a supply of the right kind of tape for strapping it up with, and an appointment at the fracture clinic who will monitor how it heals and arrange physio if he doesn't get the full range of movement back by the time the swelling's gone done - he's quite limited in what he can do with it at the moment. Fortunately it's the little finger on his left hand, and he's right-handed, so he's managing quite well despite having two fingers strapped together.

I got a mild ticking off from the nurse P about not having waited to get it X-rayed at the time, and the consultant said he agreed it would have been better if it had been, but that it was actually true that they wouldn't have done anything other than strap it to the adjacent finger, which we've been doing, so no harm done.

So, fracture clinic on Tuesday morning. I'm intending to talk to them about his other arm while I've got him in front of an orthopaedic doctor. That's the one that got broken in "the accident". It's basically fine - although a bit lumpy in places - but he says he can't throw overarm because it hurts if he tries. So I'll be taking the opportunity to get a medical opinion on whether anything can be done about that.

In the meantime, I'll see the teacher on Monday. DS that nothing has been done about his complaint about the boy who did it to him. (Known bully has been throwing a hard cricket/hockey type ball at other children telling them to catch it, and then laughing when it hurts them.) I'm not sure yet exactly how I'm going to deal with seeing the teacher. Probably explain he'll be late in on Tuesday because of fracture clinic, and then say the hospital were asking me questions about whether the school was adequately dealing with the unacceptable behaviour, and I wasn't able to answer because Andrew wasn't aware of anything having been done. Do you think that would work? I'm not a very antagonistic person, so I need a way of opening the subject that doesn't involve me going in with all guns blazing.

PasturesNew

oldMcDonald wrote: »

LMAO

(Not the most profound post to make when delurking, I know, but I needed that laugh this morning so TY PN )

You're welcome... I'm sure Colin will be posting on the Relationships board soon, so we should keep a keen eye out for that....

PasturesNew

LydiaJ wrote: »

(BTW, Pastures, elsewhere is down, but there's no rush for you to sort it out.

Yes, it hits bandwidth limits very close to the end of the month ... and most months I've 'bothered' to log in and increase the bandwidth.... this month, I've kind of not given a t055

I might get round to it a bit later, or, it'll reappear by magic on 1st of July when it resets.

LydiaJ wrote: »

I know you have much more important things to deal with.)

No I don't... I'm in "lazy 4rse" mode... nobody wants me, nobody needs anything, nobody's asking for stuff, or favours, or ... anything..... I am retreating from the world as long as possible so I can come out fighting again in the next 1-2 days... ready to plan my next move/journey/destination.

lostinrates

You might catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but having caught them you need to kill them, which vinegar does best.


Lydia, your opening sounds perfect, but i would also ask whether you are kept abreast of how this proceeds and what the proceedure is should their efforts not be satisfactory. There by letting them know that you are going to make sure something is done, followed through correctly.

chewmylegoff

zagubov wrote: »

DS came home by bus twice this week! At last!
:beer:

Lydiaj, sorry to hear about DS1s accident. I was just having a rant on another thread about A and E- I hope it wasn't a Friday night you had to go as they're always hectic, miserable and chaotic.

I've heard of friends getting a grilling when taking injured kids to A&E, to the extent that they'd be nervous to do it.

Tricky one about the school. In an ideal world , if you just state that you're concerned, they'll tell you that they're taking steps. IKWYM about being confrontional; you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, as they say.:o

i've ended up in A&E on a friday night a couple of times:

(1) i fainted in the shower in the gym and smacked my face off the shower controls, i then woke up, stood up and did exactly the same thing again, so needed several stitches in two facial wounds. the paramedics were amazing, and so was the doctor who saw me as soon as i got to hospital, but after that it was absolutely horrendous, arrived there in the ambulance at about 6pm, finally got out at 1.30am. was left on a trolley in a corridor for most of that time. didn't seem to be any reason for it (because there was a massive group of nurses just sitting around chatting about 20 yards away from me for basically the entire time). i had to ask 6 times if they would put some stitches in. they only finally dealt with it when i stood up and started pulling the IV line out of my arm. then they tried to (i) discharge me without stitching it up; and then (ii) to admit me to put me on heart monitoring equipment for 48 hours (this involved a nurse from the phillipines shouting at me in broken english). i went home. easily the worst night of my life.

(2) i got mugged at about 2am. obv. i was quite drunk...needed 10 stitches in my chin, sat around in a&e until 9am watching the nurses play cards until they eventually bothered to do something about it (although i suppose if you're drunk they have to wait for you to sober up before starting injecting you with anesthetic).

zagubov

chewmylegoff wrote: »

i've ended up in A&E on a friday night a couple of times:

(1) i fainted in the shower in the gym and smacked my face off the shower controls, i then woke up, stood up and did exactly the same thing again, so needed several stitches in two facial wounds. the paramedics were amazing, and so was the doctor who saw me as soon as i got to hospital, but after that it was absolutely horrendous, arrived there in the ambulance at about 6pm, finally got out at 1.30am. was left on a trolley in a corridor for most of that time. didn't seem to be any reason for it (because there was a massive group of nurses just sitting around chatting about 20 yards away from me for basically the entire time). i had to ask 6 times if they would put some stitches in. they only finally dealt with it when i stood up and started pulling the IV line out of my arm. then they tried to (i) discharge me without stitching it up; and then (ii) to admit me to put me on heart monitoring equipment for 48 hours (this involved a nurse from the phillipines shouting at me in broken english). i went home. easily the worst night of my life.

(2) i got mugged at about 2am. obv. i was quite drunk...needed 10 stitches in my chin, sat around in a&e until 9am watching the nurses play cards until they eventually bothered to do something about it (although i suppose if you're drunk they have to wait for you to sober up before starting injecting you with anesthetic).

Ugh! I wonder if we're talking about the same A&E ! On a hill, next to a train station? 15 mins walk from a very big park?

chewmylegoff

zagubov wrote: »

Ugh! I wonder if we're talking about the same A&E ! On a hill, next to a train station? 15 mins walk from a very big park?

no - 1st was the royal london (whitechapel) - closest to work, 2nd was st thomas's at waterloo as i was out in clapham.

LydiaJ

Thanks for the support, everyone.

For those who didn't see it elsewhere, the history is this. The incident happened at school on Wednesday last week. When I picked him up from after school club he told me about it and showed me his finger - swollen, but not very obviously bruised. I waited until after DD's Brownie meeting, and then took both children to A&E to get DS's finger looked at. We waited quite a while and then saw the triage nurse, who took details and said we'd need to wait to see a doctor. I told her I hadn't been sure whether to bring him in or not because it didn't look bruised enough to be broken to me. She said it was a v busy night, and we'd be waiting another hour and a half for the doctor, and would then have to wait again for the X-ray, and again for the doctor again afterwards. When I wondered out loud whether it was worth it, she said that even if it was broken, all they would do to it would be to strap it to the ring finger, and if I liked, she could do that for us straight away and then we could go home. So I opted for that. I always hate that kind of situation - if I insist on getting treatment I feel I am being fussy parent making a mountain out of a molehill and wasting NHS resources as well as subjecting myself and both kids to a long evening getting bored in A&E, and if I don't, I feel I am bad parent not getting my son the care he deserves.

Further context for the story is that there is history of the school not dealing effectively with bullies in DS's class, including the boy involved in this incident. However, I suspect it will be easy enough for the boy to claim he was playing, and threw the ball for DS to catch, and had no intention of hurting him. While I don't think that that's true, I imagine it would be very difficult to prove that he intended to cause harm. I also feel that if the school haven't sorted this boy out in the last 7 years he's been there, then it's unlikely they're suddenly going to change their tune a mere two and a half weeks before the class leave and go their separate ways for secondary schools. Is that cynical or just realistic?

(BTW, DS is v happy that none of the boys who've bullied him will be going to the same secondary school as him. DD is at the same school, but her class has never had a bullying problem, whereas DS's class has had one almost since reception.)

LydiaJ

PasturesNew wrote: »

No I don't... I'm in "lazy 4rse" mode... nobody wants me, nobody needs anything, nobody's asking for stuff, or favours, or ... anything..... I am retreating from the world as long as possible so I can come out fighting again in the next 1-2 days... ready to plan my next move/journey/destination.

That's the "important things" to which I referred. You are exhausted and overwhelmed, and even an NT person would need peace and quiet and rest and nobody-making-demands for a bit, and I imagine you need those things all the more. That's not lazy, it's vital, or you'll end up with burnout. Actually, you very likely will anyway, but a bit of rest now may help at least a bit.

CKhalvashi

PasturesNew wrote: »

Colin's drunk and has woken up in a motel room clutching the taxi sign and two traffic cones... the only number he can remember is the sausage roll lady's.... and he needs help.

Colin is an alcoholic that smells so much I won't have him in my car :eek:

Noone will do him, and I have his card in my safe at home, bung his shopping on that and take £10 for myself (with his permission of course)

It's literally a dump, ring bell and run scenario