Facebook has popped my crazy vain!

Tiddlywinks

coinxoperated wrote: »

..... he really is my ideal partner.

Everything's been going really well, we seem to have the same sort of goals in life and were very similar.

Until a little part of me couldn't not look, and I found out his Facebook password.

I was cheated on before him, and with a password and log in details, I just couldn't resist having a quick look.

Now before we go down the trust route, I do trust him. Well did. I was purely looking to see if there was any reason not too.

.......

So now I'm in that awkward position here I just want to ask him why but cant, because then he would know I was snooping! I don't want him too think I don't trust him, because I do, I guess I just want to make sure I am not being made a fool out ofz

Obviously I am a little insecure. I'm overweight and would prefer to be able to have my tattoos done etc etc but I don't because of work. Hes goes out of his way to try and make me feel good about myself. He obviously still finds me attractive, and we have a very active 'ahem' life...

But should I be concerned? Should I talk to him about it? How can I talk to him about it?

Should you be concerned - YES - about yourself and how you are behaving.

You don't like the way you look, are insecure and have trust 'issues' because of a previous BF. That is your problem - you need to see it for what it is and then deal with it.

Your BF has done nothing wrong - he hasn't contacted any of these girls, he's just saved some details.... so what if he follows them virtually? It's not real - it only becomes 'real' if he contacts them and then it becomes 'real world'.

I think you should confess to your BF about your hacking his account but explain why you did it - otherwise, you will be living a lie whilst still wondering why he has done what he has done... all the guilt with none of the knowledge.

Hope he understands and you can work through this together.

sassyblue

I don't see a problem myself. They're probably there to be googled when he's got some private time

He's not been messaging anyone? Talking inappropriately to someone?

They're just pictures he's going to look at. Ignore.

coinxoperated

You all for your replies.

I know what I did was wrong, I'm just worried about being played the fool again. I'll take on board all the advice. Thanks! Xxx

Seanymph

I'd tell him myself.

I too had 'issues' brought forwards from previous relationships - I explained them to OH, he had to be tolerant about certain behaviours, but he found it easier when he understood why.

And gradually - because he knows where to look he offered the reassurance I needed to not be so bothered.

Tell your partner, explain why, give him the opportunity to reassure you, and move on - but if he doesn't know the ghosts you walk around with from previous stuff he can't understand and support you.

balletshoes

Bluemeanie wrote: »

He looked at a few girls he finds attractive, don't worry about it. I look at pictures of Thor because I fancy him!

this - I don't think theres a problem at all here OP. Maybe he's messaged the names to himself so he can go back later and see if any of the models have updated their pics?
So what? Like Bluemeanie said, I have celebs etc I fancy, look at pics of them etc. My DD is 11 and does the same thing with the latest boy-band lol.

pinksk8

Honestly I dont think youve got anything to worry about, as others have said, he is most probably storing the names for future use, its just like keeping their adult magazines and DVDs for future use, if they like them they dont just get rid once they have watched it once. If you believe your partner loves you, I wouldnt worry about the fact that you dont have Tattoos/ideal body because he loves you.

Good Luck x

anon123456

From the guys point of view i am a recently married man and do something similar.

Most guys will have something slightly risquee that they are interested in and goth girls is quite a common one (which i share) I have a list of some minor celebrities or key artists in similar fields who i look at.

This does not mean we want our partners to look like that or wish they were those people. It's a !!!!!! thing. We look we have some alone time and we give ourselves a treat.

My wife not only knows about this and doesn't mind but she likes tattoos and often recommends a model she think i might like.

However every man needs a small part of themselves to keep private with their fantasies.

As he isn't on dating or swinger sites and he isn't talking to anyone else or messaging etc. I honestly think you have nothing to worry about.

You even say he goes out of his way to make you feel beautiful, i'm no sure where your insecurity can come from then?

My advice would be to let him be and not mention it.

beautiful_ravens

No worries, he's just looking at pics. We've all done it, it doesnt equal unfaithfulness or any lack of desire for your other half. I have some nice pics of tasty blokes somewhere on my external HD, but Im certainly not about to leave my partner, or be unfaithful or wish him to change, I love him and he's real. Im sure if he saw the pics he would feel terrible, so they are tucked away where they can't hurt his feelings.

raven83

If you are talking about a certain well know site that is dedicated to alt models with tattoos and coloured hair etc then as a woman i am on that fan page on facebook as i enjoy looking at the models with all their tattoos etc and i even have a few favourites I would have no problem if i was with someone if they looked at that sort of thing as to me it is just fantasy, it doesn't mean anything, in fact if it was me i would probably enjoy looking at them together. Seriously i would more concerned if he was taking note of real life girls who he might know rather than ones that exist in cyber space...

VitaK

Sounds like hes own little bookmarkings. Yes, it may cross a few boundaries for some of us, but then again we are all different.