Facebook has popped my crazy vain!

coinxoperated

Bluemeanie wrote: »

He looked at a few girls he finds attractive, don't worry about it. I look at pictures of Thor because I fancy him!

It's not the looking I have issue with, its the storing of names I have issue with. I just struggle to understand why you would go out of your way to message yourself lists of names of attractive women. In truth, you can type in some key words in google and find a whole list of pictures of gorgeous women that fit his 'wishes'.....

System

Hubby used to be (dunno if he still is) a member of Anastacia's fan club.:D

Not much chance of him running off with her though.:rotfl:

coinxoperated

jetplane wrote: »

You know facebook is dangerous, we now live in a world where we have no privacy. I am grateful that I grew up without all of this big brother technology 'cos it would have screwed parts of my life. I'm not that wicked but I've had my moments and I'm glad they remain locked in my own head.

It's hard not to snoop when presented with the opportunity but if we do look then we have to decide what to do with the information. This is about your own insecurites which will ruin your relationship if you allow it to.

I'm sure some of my fantasies and private conversations would have concerned my husband over the years but none of it has been a threat to our relationship. I've never been unfaithful, he has always had my loyalty and respect.

You have two choices

Ask him and destroy the trust.

Accept that you have done something regretful and respect your partners privacy.

Thanks for this - I know I am utterly stupid for looking. The worst part is, I KNOW he is not cheating on me, well not yet anyway. I KNOW that he likes looking at attractive women, as any man would. I just struggle to see why he would keep names of them....

BugglyB

coinxoperated wrote: »

True - But doesn't every woman have insecurities of some kind?

Yes and most men too I think.

Are you worried about him cheating on you, or do you just feel like he shouldn't be doing this? How much is about what he is doing and how much is about how you feel about yourself?

coinxoperated

Not really worried about him cheating on me in truth. If he does it, fine, he can go. I would have no concerns about booting him out.

I'm just trying to understand WHY he's keeping names. A bit like 'bookmarking' for later use?

I look at some of the women and know I'll never be that sort of gorgeous, BUT, its certinaly not entirely based around how I feel about me......

TeamLowe

..i'd probably think 'oh he likes goth girls, letssee which ones he thinks are cute...meh, ooh she's nice, ooh i like that hair colour, god what does he see in her?'

admittedly i've never been cheated on but i really really don't see the problem. he obviously likes girls as he's going out with one. maybe i'd have a problem if the ladies were goth and i wasn't even close but that's about it.

and men will always find time for alone time. my husband seems to not do it that much but we've discussed p*rn stars he likes in the past and i've never seen an issue with it. i told him during the avengers how hot i thought Thor was and came straight home and googled him, he didn't have an issue with that

what do you think confronting him will do though? it won't stop him liking goth ladies, it won't stop you wondering if he's looking at goth ladies. he already gives you lots of reassurance about the way you look and obviously fancies you lots if you have an active bedroom life

this is about you, not him x x

thegirlintheattic

coinxoperated wrote: »

Thanks for this - I know I am utterly stupid for looking. The worst part is, I KNOW he is not cheating on me, well not yet anyway. I KNOW that he likes looking at attractive women, as any man would. I just struggle to see why he would keep names of them....

So he can go back and look at more pictures. Many men want the illusion of a 'relationship' with the fantasy women. So knowing names and checking back for recent photos is important for them.

Gingham_R

It sounds like he's bookmarking pictures he likes the look of because he is using them as a masturbatory tool. It's not for 'future use'. I'm fairly certain it's just so he doesn't have to mess about searching when he just wants some quick relief.

You think he doesn't get time to himself and I am absolutely sure that isn't the case. It doesn't sound like anything that would cause a problem in my opinion. Just your usual 'my partner masturbates' shocker.

blunther

thegirlintheattic wrote: »

Shouldn't have looked.

If he wants to view pictures of half-naked girls that's up to him. You shouldn't be concerned - he's not contacting these girls.

Do not talk to him - if you do prepared to be dumped. I would not stay with a partner who had broken my trust.

Absolutely. He hasn't done anything wrong, and if I found out my missus was snooping around my Facebook account, I'd be out of the door instantly.

Fortunately, I know that she never will, because she trusts me implicitly. Without this, there is no relationship.

notakid

I can understand why you looked. Don't beat yourself up about it. You have trust issues because of what has happened previously.

I'd guess he is keeping the names so he can google more pictures? He likes looking at Goth girls, they can change their appearance to look wilder he would be interested to see how they developed.

He is with you however. That is fantasy you are the reality. If you are both interested in that scene its only fair he is looking. It interests him.

Keep it to yourself. Its your burden now. However, ask yourself isn't this the best you could have expected? Hacking a private account? It seems pretty innocent to me.

Dont let your hang ups ruin things, As a much older women there is one thing I'd tell my younger self, stop with the self hate. Your youth makes you far more beautiful than you realise.