what is your opinion ?

maybebaybe

marisco wrote: »

Emotional abuse of children is taken extremely seriously and should be reported as a matter of urgency. It can do equal amounts of damage as physical abuse and will completely mess up a childs social and emotional development for years to come. This will effect how they fit into and cope with school. They are approaching vital years of learning and should not be suffering in this way.

Please pardon the pun, because I do not wish to write anything that undermines the severity of this situation, but this mum is quite clearly screaming out for help if she sees fit to treat to young children in this manner. She is not coping raising them on her own.

Is your sisters husband aware of how much trouble he could be in if this scenario happened;- Imagine the 9 year old breaks down at school, confides in a teacher what mummy has been doing to her and her younger brother. Then she discloses how daddy reacted to her asking for his help. That he refuses to discuss this with her mum, does not wish to remove the children from such suffering and just suggested she started behaving. The school would have to involve social services. It is not only the mum who would be facing very serious questioning. I am flabbergasted at this mans 'head in the sand and do nothing' approach to his children being treated like this. It is disgusting.

Couldnt agree more, I have just got off the phone with my sister and she tried to talk about things last night with him and was basically told that its his problem ( bil's ) and not hers and he will deal with it when he's good and ready.

But as my sis says this has obviosly been going on a while and he has already supposedly spoken to her before re just shouting at them all the time but he " forgot " to mention the swearing etc.

So basically she has not listened in the slightest. Oh and get this, he did apparently at one point say well if you're that bothered you do something about it.

She said that she said to him, that she told him that she knows what she wants to do about things but that he probably wouldnt like it, and then he basically shut her down by saying that its his problem and he will deal.

He was confronted with all this on Sat by his daughter, it is now Thursday and still no action. Personally I am speechless

marisco_2

maybebaybe wrote: »

Couldnt agree more, I have just got off the phone with my sister and she tried to talk about things last night with him and was basically told that its his problem ( bil's ) and not hers and he will deal with it when he's good and ready.

As you and no doubt your sister are well aware this is not your bil's problem. It is his childrens problem. They are the ones living this and suffering it day in and day out. It is not possible to put into words how damaging emotional abuse is. It has long lasting effects, especially when people you love and trust know it is going on and do nothing to help you.

His handling of this has also made this nasty situation your sisters problem. Does he seriously expect her to know of child abuse going on and to sit back, do nothing and wait for him to decide to take action. I remember you saying early on in this thread how your sister and bil have morals and principles about raising children. That they should not be sworn at etc. How can he treat his child with her well and ignore what is going on with his other children? It has gone way past not wanting to rock the boat with the ex now hasn't it.

How would your sister or her husband feel if god forbid this mother lost it completely and the abuse escalated? In my opinion bil's ex doesn't sound fit to be round children and any adult who knows what is going on should report it.

The little girl will eventually crack under the strain of all this. No child who suffers such emotional abuse can cover it up long term. Things will be noticed at her school, either in relationship to her school work suffering or her emotional state. In most schools there are posters around giving numbers for childline. Other posters advising children what to do if they feel bullied (mainly meant for at school, but his daughter will soon link the two). PSHE (personal, social and health education) lessons often touch on relationships and what is and isn't acceptable. He is skating on ice by doing nothing.