Problem Neighbours Making my Husband Want to Leave Home

Errata

What guarantee is there that there won't be any neighbours from hell living next door to, or moving next door to, any place the OP might rent?

Lil_Me_2

PinkPeach wrote: »

I've called environmental health about the noise many times but they only have 1 patrol car for the whole of Bristol and so have never come out to us.

Keep calling EH, if you do it often enough they should then prioritise you. When we had problems with noise they sent a letter to the offending house and that did seem to do the trick (helped by the tenants having a reasonably high turn over).

I would also contact your local councillors, and attend your local Neighbourhood Partnership meeting if there isn't too long to wait for the next one - http://bristolpartnership.org/neighbourhood-partnerships

I attend the Bishopston one regularly and there are councillors, council representatives and police representatives. Anyone can turn up and issues can be raised in the forums. You mentioned that there are others in your street affected, so see if you can get a few to go to back each other up. We had a group turn up about noise from the local garage behind their houses and the councillors are keeping on top of the progress, they've had EH out and had noise equipment for a bit to monitor it and the police have been to visit.

Best thing is it's all documented! If you happen to be in my area feel free to PM me

sooz

I started a long post earlier & lost it :mad:
Get a reference number from Enviromental Health. Then each time you call, even if you just leave a message, leave the ref no, & description of the nuisance. Do so each & every time.

Ask EH for diary sheets. Send them in, keeping copies, every two weeks. Add police incident nos from when you call them too.

Keep calling police & EH with the numbers, even if you only leave a message, with the numbers it will be logged.

cobbingstones

mountainofdebt wrote: »

well for me being with my OH - and his and my health - is way more important that any bricks and mortar

I totally appreciate and empathise with your position OP and I feel blessed that I do not have to deal with what you and husband are going through. But, to me personally, having a baby with a happy and secure husband is more important than where we live. It sounds like he has reached his limit and I would off long before now.

Bringing a baby back to a home with such loud and inconsiderate neighbours, getting up feeding, changing etc every two hours and with possibly no partner there to support you sounds a very hard choice. I take my hat off to all the single parents who do this day in and out:T

Think carefully and remember in time you will have a much happier home. Good luck

Mupette

Fellow Bristolian here, BCC are pathetic when it comes to looking after their tenants, Dawn Primirolo (i know but that's what i call her) / Red Dawn should be contacted asap, you can do that via here..

http://www.writetothem.com/

this gets the ball rolling, tell them everything, don't leave anything out, all call logs from the police etc.

The council will give you a log book they will expect you to keep for 2 weeks, this council take their time over anything.

Ask for the noise machine from EH so they can measure the noise level of your neighbours, all this takes time and the frustrating bit is the loss of sanity waiting for action from someone helpful in the council.

Good luck

Blackpool_Saver

I would leave your husband there and leave yourself, he isn't very supportive is he?

ac085

Someone else has already said get a week away with parents or friends and I think this is a really good idea. I have been in a similar situation with neighbours and moved out for a couple weeks to my parents house and this just gave me so much more energy to fight.
Also make the most of having other neighbours in the area supporting you, maybe get them to call up when you do complaining of noise. The more people that make a fuss the more the council will want to help.

I know it is difficult to deal with your husband wanting to leave. I don't think he is being selfish though. Everyone has a different tolerance level and his may have been reached. I understand his feelings - it isn't healthy to be living in fear of noise next door. It causes a lot of stress. Maybe if you can move out for a week or two he will see a more objective viewpoint

Mrs_Arcanum

Sadly it sounds like a somewhat scatter gun approach to various people such as the MP, EH, Police & HA. Any of which will only count the problem from when you first contacted them and received a reference number. The Housing Officer will need a lot of evidence and this could take a year of legal wrangling to get them shifted - they are unlikely to change so getting them moved is your only hope for the future. As you have discovered, starting at the top does not work.

See how helpful the Housing Officer is when you meet them (they may well be desperately looking at ways to get them shifted as well). Don't forget to ask about the fence - if the hedge was your responsibility and the neighbours have ripped it out the HA should replace it with something.

Once this is done get this place tidy and rent it out, making sure you get enough rent to pay for somewhere else to live.

PinkPeach

I can see why people think my husband is being selfish, but after 2 years of this and ill health caused by the stress he simply cannot cope. This has nothing to do with him wanting to leave me, I just don't think he can think clearly at the moment.

The meeting went ok but I don't hold out much hope for things happening quickly. We went to stay with famiy for the night and coming back yesterday my husband felt really stressed about beign here again. He is desparate to leave so we are going to go and talk to the bank about our mortgage.

I'm not happy about the financial trouble we'd be in if we gave everythign up, but equally I'm not happy to have an upset, stressed husband. It's very sad to see how this is affecting him. I feel standing by him is the right thing to do so that we can remain a family unit, we love each other and that counts for a lot in my eyes.

Thanks for everyones advice. I've no idea what will happen but can only hope for the best and expect the worst.

Takeaway_Addict

PinkPeach wrote: »

I can see why people think my husband is being selfish, but after 2 years of this and ill health caused by the stress he simply cannot cope. This has nothing to do with him wanting to leave me, I just don't think he can think clearly at the moment.

The meeting went ok but I don't hold out much hope for things happening quickly. We went to stay with famiy for the night and coming back yesterday my husband felt really stressed about beign here again. He is desparate to leave so we are going to go and talk to the bank about our mortgage.

I'm not happy about the financial trouble we'd be in if we gave everythign up, but equally I'm not happy to have an upset, stressed husband. It's very sad to see how this is affecting him. I feel standing by him is the right thing to do so that we can remain a family unit, we love each other and that counts for a lot in my eyes.

Thanks for everyones advice. I've no idea what will happen but can only hope for the best and expect the worst.

He's not really being selfish, he is quite plainly at breaking point mentally and the posters that suggested different are on a different planet!

Practical advice has been given by others. Could you look at maybe a short term rent away from the house to give him a rest, yes it costs some money but away from the stress it would give him a break and maybe have a clearer mind to make important decisions