Problem Neighbours Making my Husband Want to Leave Home

PinkPeach

Hi, I'd really appreciate any advice on this as I'm at the end of my tether and feel completely hopeless as to what to do.

We bought our house on a council estate nearly 5 years ago with a 100% mortgage lasting 30 years. Two years ago a family were moved in next door who have continually behaved in an anti-social way. We've had constant parties going on throughout the week into the small hours, their dogs using our garden as a toilet, the hedge separating our back gardents ripped up without our permission and we've had to call the police numerous times due to them fighting in the street, not to mention drug dealing out in the front garden.

We've complained to the council whenever anything has happened but after all this time nothing has been done to any real effect.

My husbands health isnt' very good and after having had to put up with 5 parties over the past 7 days he flipped yesterday and told me that he can't take it any more and will be leaving. The doctors acknowlege something is wrong with him as he's had various physical problems but have said it could be due to stress. I'm 6 months pregnant and just don't know what to do.

We have no money to move house but despite this my husband has said that he'd quite happily walk away regardless of the trouble we'd be in with the bank. I'm petrified about being in financial trouble as we still owe approx 125K.

Last night they had another party and we were awake until 2.30am. My husband said to me I needed to think about if I'd be coming with him or not because he will leave. I simply cannot imagine giving up my home, especially as we are due to have a baby. He can't understand that as I'm pregant it's important to me to feel safe and secure and has said that his health at this moment in time needs to take priority. I understand how upset this is making him but feel angry that these neighbours are practically forcing us out of our home.

My husband did suggest renting out our house to cover the mortgage so we can move and rent a home elsewhere. I'd prefer this option but am not sure that the bank will allow it as I expect we'd have to change 'mortgage product' which is likely to cost money we don't have. Also, we have a dog which means the world to us and I'm not sure how easily you can rent if you have pets.

I've managed to get an appointment this afternoon with a council housing officer so hopefully they will explain why things haven't been progressing.

I have tried repeatedly to talk to the neighbours about this but to no avail. Has anyone else had any experience of this or advice as to what we can do? I'm really worried that this could mean the end of my marriage as if I don't go with my husband, in the state he's in I think he will feel it's because I don't want to be with him anymore which simply isn't true.

mountainofdebt

well for me being with my OH - and his and my health - is way more important that any bricks and mortar

epsilondraconis

When you go to see the housing officer, take with you documentation showing when the neighbours have been anti-social (noise, drug deals, fighting etc), also include when you have called the police and when you have previously contacted the council. Also, include in the documentation the health effects on your husband and your concern with your pregnancy.

Ensure you take a copy of the documentation that you supply to the housing officer. I would also ask for their e-mail address and after the meeting e-mail the documentation again (so there is a paper trail), and also produce a brief summary of what was discussed in the meeting and the action they said they will take.

If I were in your position, I would give the council a month to sort something out. If nothing significant is done in that time, I would inform them that you can't take it any more (it is clearly affecting your husband and could affect your pregnancy), and as you have no where else to go simply turn up at their offices with a tent and tell them that because of their inactivity in resolving the problem, that you have no where else to go and you have to stay in the council building to get away from the tenants they decided to house next door to you.

I find in situations like this, it pays for you to kick up a fuss (in a nice way of course) with just about anyone that can help you. By continuing to contact them (perhaps on a daily basis) to find out what is happening and what is being done, they will soon get the message that you will leave them alone only once the problem is resolved.

Hope it gets resolved soon.

londonsurrey

Just a small thing, but it counts. When you call the police, make sure you get an incident number. Otherwise, they have a habit as recording it as a kind of "non-event", and it's like it never happened, which is very nice for their stats.

amyloofoo

What a horrible situation for you and your OH to find youselves in, made even more difficult by your pregnancy and his ill health. Some people have absolutely no empathy for other people or consideration for their needs :eek: I hope your meeting with the council goes well, please keep us updated of any developments. Have they ever given you any indication of the volume of complaints / incidents they'd need to receive in order to take more serious action against your neighbours?

Daisy70

I really feel for you, that must be a horrible situation to be in.

What do the neighbours say when you talked to them?
Perhaps you could talk to them about the impending birth of your baby and how the noise is affecting you and they might be more considerate.

Any formal complaint you make to the council would have to be declared upon selling, it's worth bearing that in mind.

bargainbetty

You can report it as Anti-Social Behaviour, ask specifically for your local Safer Neighbourhood Team and invite an officer to come to your home for a meeting, prefereably in plain clothes. Show him the dog-fouling, let him hear the noise and present him with copies of records detailing the parties, the noise, the disruption. Note the complaints to the council.

Please understand the council have a duty of care to residents to ensure that the right to privacy and family life are respected. You do not have to deal with this, but you might have to make a lot of fuss intitally. Go into the offices and 'be pregnant' at them, if you see what I mean.

Sometimes you have to play the 'won't someone think of the children' card to your own advantage. But keep pushing. Get the name of the housing officer responsible for that area and keep calling them. Report it every day.

I have a friend who does professional witness jobs for local councils to obtain noise-disturbance evidence and ASB breaches. PM me if you want me to ask his advice.

DS4215

Is it worth contacting your local councilor - they might be able to help get action.

Have you tried environmental health for the parties? Especially late at night.

Person_one

I do feel for you both regarding your anti-social neighbours, but what on Earth is your husband thinking threatening you like this?

If he's stressed just living there how stressed does he think you are also living there but now with the threat hanging over you that your husband will ditch you with a new baby, a ton of debt and on your own to deal with the neighbours?

Sorry, he's being seriously selfish.

paddy's_mum

Go higher, quicker. Your MP.

PinkPeach

Thanks for your replies.

I have previously written a letter to the MP signed by quite a few members of the street. Strangely the MP wrote back to me saying that the council said there was no problem!

I've called environmental health about the noise many times but they only have 1 patrol car for the whole of Bristol and so have never come out to us.

The neighbours say sorry when I've talked to them about it but it's literally in one ear and out the other. I've even got cross at them and have just ignored me. They are so wrapped up in themselves that anyone else isn't a concern.

Hopefully the council will also involve social services as they have 4 young children and it's no environment for them at these parties where drink and drugs are used.

Sorry for such a long original post, it's just hard having this hanging over me.