How to support my friend - transgender

Emmzi

I would stick with trainers for now (unisex) and use evans mail order for big shoes. wide fittings too. probably worth measuring up.

Morganarla

Emmzi wrote: »

I would stick with trainers for now (unisex) and use evans mail order for big shoes. wide fittings too. probably worth measuring up.

Yup, that was my thought too. Flat/Converse-y type would be good I think, fits in with E's current image (rocky, metal type) but subtley more feminine than the current black trainers/new rocks. E is actually 9-11 depending on the brand and style so will just have to try on when we're out and about. Measuring is definitely in order, E plans to measure all over tonight as wide fitting will most certainly be needed.

Person_one

You sound like a lovely friend, I'm sure E's really glad to have you around!

There are online shops that sell ladies style shoes in bigger sizes, I wouldn't go OTT with the heels just yet as they're hard enough to walk gracefully in when you've been practicing for decades! However, lovely feminine ballet pumps might be nice.

Buttercup2305

Morganarla wrote: »

Buttercup thank you, only been on it a few mins and already helpful. I'm going to show it to E. Karla is beautiful!

Thank you for the lovely reply

Try here for shoes http://darkkitten.co.uk/dolly-classic-platform-sandals-black-white-p-699.html?oscsid=c1360e3e415cea63b812901005dd7cf8

whitewing

poet123 wrote: »

I watched a really interesting series a few months ago called my transsexual summer. It was a group who lived together as they were all going the the process, the bonds they made were incredible. You may be able to find a copy of it, it gave a really good insight into the thoughts and feelings of those undergoing this.

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/my-transsexual-summer/4od gives more info but you can't watch it here.

I saw this programme by accident and it is compelling viewing. The group went to a local pub, and meet some locals. One local chap was very sweet because he couldn't quite get over the fact that he quite fancied one or two of the men2women.

Another bit was where an invited guest showed the group the surgery they had had to create her male parts (not sure what the website here will allow me to call them). To my relatively innocent eyes it looked pretty authentic.

rainbow81

Hi!

I haven't read all the replies but I can speak from some experience as a great friend of mine has transitioned, although female to male.
I would say that you can be as supportive as you can, but as you would be in any "big" situation.

It does take a little while to ALWAYS use the right name/pronoun, especially when tipsy but a few months down the line and you probably won't even remember properly your friend being male.

I think the hardest thing that I found personally was that I *couldn't* be the friend who would understand how it all feels. I can try to imagine but obviously I will never know. So if your friend does go absent for any period of time I hope it's because he has found people who can really understand him/her.

Depending on where you live there are lots of transgender groups and events.

Just be on your friend's side I guess.

LavenderBoy

As long as you be a good loyal friend and stick with him through good times & bad thats all he will need.

It will not be easy but I am sure in the end once he has finally reached 100% happiness he will look back and realise how much you were there for him and both of you will be better people for it

Karla.dreams

Hi Hun I just thought I would pop on and say hi, if your friend needs anything what so ever please let me know... it is not easy coming out as Transgender at all it took me 37 years to do it.. about shoes look on ebay you will find loads in that size

ragecake

As one half of a relationship with a trans woman, nothing should change, other than the name, and the pronoun.

They might want to look into learning how to tuck so that They can be more comfortable in females clothing.

There is also going to the GP and starting the transition, this MAY take a while, but it can also take only 6 months.

Laser hair removal is also very helpful and reduces the amount of makeup needed.

get someone to help with the makeup as well. Think of it this way, a lot of trans women, have never had a chance to experiment like most other women, so they wont know entirely what to do.

And one more thing.
Do not, and I repeat, do NOT get a bob haircut, it's known in the trans community for "Feminising" the face, but it doesn't.

If they live around Birmingham or the midlands, there is a wonderful support group.

Anything else, don't hesitate to message me.