How to support my friend - transgender

vax2002

I would say just be the same friend you were before he told you.
Small things like that must help.

poet123

I watched a really interesting series a few months ago called my transsexual summer. It was a group who lived together as they were all going the the process, the bonds they made were incredible. You may be able to find a copy of it, it gave a really good insight into the thoughts and feelings of those undergoing this.

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/my-transsexual-summer/4od gives more info but you can't watch it here.

harrys_nan

Everyone should have a friend like you :T, lots of hugs to your friend for a happy journey

Gingham_R

My ex's best friend was transgender. It's a big deal at the moment but there will come a point where it's just going to be who she is and she won't be your transgender friend any longer - just your friend.

I'm saying this because my ex's friend was already at that stage by the time I met her and we honestly never had a conversation about it - not me and the friend nor me and my ex. It was as irrelevant as the colour of socks I had on - if that makes sense.

Maybe that's a good thing to mention to him - ie this is a process that will pass and he will be able to move on with his life as your friend who just happens to be a woman.

level200

Why would you support her any differently than you would your other friends?

Person_one

level200 wrote: »

Why would you support her any differently than you would your other friends?

I don't think downplaying the enormity of what the friend is going through is necessarily the best way to go.

You don't want to give the impression that you don't recognise how difficult and life changing the whole process is.

Gingham_R

level200 wrote: »

Why would you support her any differently than you would your other friends?

I would imagine it's because the problem is different than her other friends'.

We can't just apply a blanket 'support' policy. Some issues are just more sensitive or we have less experience so don't necessarily know what the right things to do are.

Morganarla

Thanks for all the responses so far, am reassured by the lack of hostility/prejudice towards the subject, goes against what I am used to seeing off the internet! Thank you for the lovely pms too, promise will get round to replying to all soon xx :A

I'm trying hard to be the same friend as I was before, and luckily this involves being able to talk very frankly with E (deliberate lack of pronoun there!) and be in good humour about it all, like we normally would be about any other topic - eg: me - 'You do know you gonna have to shave your legs every day right? And its' a pain in the !!! haha!' E - 'Yeah I know, debating trying that waxing malarky. But too poor for that so my extra long extra hairy pins are getting bic'ed! Fml what a ballache hahaha. Worth it though.'

E is so happy to have finally opened up about it, and is dead excited about sharing the first shopping trip with me (I feel exceptionally priviledged too!) We're hoping to have a girly morning doing make-up and hair type stuff before we hit the shops, also looking forward to that. Being quite the natural look woman (read unstyled hair, unplucked eyebrows, one dried up mascara in the never used makeup bag), E does know it's going to be a case of the blind leading the blind :rotfl:Should be fun too though

I can also say to E that I need for boundaries to be given to me if I'm being too invasive with trying to give support, and likewise I will tell E if I'm struggling to give the right answers or if (as someone said) I'm not qualified to support with that particular part of it. Supporting each other is probably the best way to describe it.

Can't remember who said it, but the prejudice I will face as well as E - sadly all too aware, and a lot of it will come from our mutual social circle, given prior experience. I'm ready for that, and tbh it will probably weedle out those that don't deserve our friendship anyway.

What a journey this is going to be... xx

p.s. If anyone knows of any high street retailers that do ladies shoes above size 10 :eek:, please let me know!

Buttercup2305

My partner came out as transgender a year ago. Let me tell you it was a shock but everything is still great. She now goes by the name of Karla and writes a blog, also she has put a lot of information on it. I hope it will be of some use to you
http://www.karlasdream.co.uk/

Morganarla

Buttercup2305 wrote: »

My partner came out as transgender a year ago. Let me tell you it was a shock but everything is still great. She now goes by the name of Karla and writes a blog, also she has put a lot of information on it. I hope it will be of some use to you
http://www.karlasdream.co.uk/

Buttercup thank you, only been on it a few mins and already helpful. I'm going to show it to E. Karla is beautiful!