Finally worked up the courage to write it all down...

BritAbroad

Hi Lorna,

Been reading through this - you've done really well so far! will subscribe to your diary!

LaughingLorna

Thank you BA - really makes such a difference when things are tough knowing that there is always a community to turn to here who understand the challenges of this process and the 'brick wall' moments.

just feels like a massive mountain at the moment

fantastiyk

Hi Lorna,
I sent you a private message but my internet connection broke when I pressed send so I don't know if you got it.
Thank you for your lovely message, I'm touched that you sent it.

I get a sense of satisfaction out of watching you succeed, so thank you for sharing on here. Perhaps you don't think it yet but its diaries like yours that we read to inspire us and to help us keep motivated when things are slacking or going backwards!!

Now and in the future it helps others to read from the start rather than from when success had already happened and there's 2 payments left to go.

Don't get me wrong I love hearing from that end too but its easier to believe I can do it if I read from the start of a diary and follow this "newbie" in the world of facing up to and dealing with our debt, through their ups and downs I can learn an easier or quicker way of dealing with some of it.

So thank you again, and keep going - you're doing brilliantly :T

LaughingLorna

Thank you again - makes such a difference to hear such a lovely message. thats why i wanted to send the PM as i'm not sure it always comes across how i want and really want people to know how much i value the support and people taking time out to make me feel better - even knowing how stupid i've been about everything. that first post is definitely the hardest but i think we always worry that there will come a point when people will start judging again or (my own worry particularly) that people will just think that i'm stupid for struggling with this when others are in a much worse position.and i can't imagine my absorbed ramblings are helpful to anyone but me!

I've had a lot of stuff going on at home recently and it's affecting my work. my boss told me last week that my work is too inconsistent at the mo to even think of promotion. my mum isnt talking to me because i explained i was having a bit of a relaspse with my MH issues and that i couldn't manage her feelings as well of being pushed out and giving me the guilt trip.over two weeks its been now :-( its been really hard to resist the spending to cheer myself up and although ive splurged on lunch at work and the odd magazine, i've managed to resist any big spends.

now i'm just really scared that i'll not be able to pay off my debts if i do as my doctor suggests and take time off work. feel lucky to have a job at the moment and they are very understanding. just a struggle to keep on top of things at mo and just waiting for the day when i can cross this debt albatross off the list of stuff i'm finding difficult to cope with.

have decided i need to make the most of the bits of time where i feel more like myself to do ebay etc and then keep a list that i can look at when i feel as crap as i do at the moment to show myself i am still achieving an chipping away at this. trying to remember that this is the longest period of time for 5 years where debt has shrunk not grown!

during one of my big wobbles the other day i nearly put about £400 of clothes on my credit card and had almost managed to justify it to myself before i got an actual physical reaction to my own stupidity - like a cold sweat - and cancelled the basket. very scary that i could slip so easily and so much :-(

rambling again so sorry but selfishly i feel so much better now after writing all this out that i've not told anyone and now feel like i can be productive this afternoon at work :-):-)

LaughingLorna

Fantastiyk thank you again for your post - i had a mega productive afternoon after my overshare on here at lunchtime. still a bit of a sadsack to be around but at least i was getting through my work :-)

still haven't received your PM though :-( i think it must have got lost in the ether

LaughingLorna

Wanted to log on and post quickly while I'm feeling a bit upbeat. Strange really because I've got a tummy bug that's doing rounds at work but feeling okay otherwise means I have so much more energy than usual. Have cleaned kitchen, gone through statements and updated my sig and 1% at a time thread. Gone through wardrobe and sorted out stuff that doesn't fit anymore to get on ebay. Just waiting for free listing weekend.

So excited that cc debt has gone down below 6k for the first time in years - makes a real difference when you get to a milestone like that. Makes it even better knowing that the things I've learned on here mean that I'll be able to keep going long term and determined NEVER to be in this position again.

I remember reading somewhere on a thread on here about how being in this DFW process teaches you a lot and you become a better person for it and actually may save yourself more money over the course of your life than the original debt due to the good habits you learn. Totally agree with this! Actually puts a nice positive slant on the experience while you're living it!!! :-)

fantastiyk

Hi Lorna,
The PM must have disappeared into the ether as you say

I posted it all on here then when I thought it might be lost - as it was still fresh in my mind.

Wow!! Under £6000 - that's fantastic!! :j :j :j

I'm impressed. And delighted for you.
It gives you such a buzz doesn't it.

Keep it up and enjoy the journey.

Its the other people on here and their stories that keep me motivated.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

LaughingLorna

Still buzzing and have renewed enthusiasm for the journey today - lots of surveys done (had lost heart on these of late but want to get to some cash out thresholds for Christmas!)

I feel the same about the stories/ support of all keeping me going - on good days and on the more difficult. Eternally grateful to all who post!!! :-)

citizenkitten

amazing progress, havent seen anyone suggest this but if you are intent on not telling anyone about your debt then I would ask for vouchers for presents etc. that way you can either sell them or give them on to other people when presents are needed. I often see vouchers selling for £2 off their actual value so not too much depreciation. that is if you cant ask for cold hard cash, anyway people always ask what you spent it on and i am never too comfortable with lying.

or any presents that are not obvious can all be reused/sold on, but vouchers are the best.

M&S vouchers etc are the most popular. plus if you don't shop there you wont be tempted to spend the voucher!

LaughingLorna

Thanks ck thats a great idea! i wasnt comfortable asking for cash but vouchers would be way less pushy i think. felt like asking for cash might come across a bit pushywithout ppl knowing about the money issues. will deff check out selling on as i have a few from survey sites i was gonna give as pressies but have done some home made items so may have some vouchers spare to sell on :-):-) thank youuuuuu!