Finally worked up the courage to write it all down...

LaughingLorna

Yeah I've not managed to get my ebay motivation back. I think the only things I've listed recently have been items for my non-IT literate parents :-) I need to get my spring clothes on there now we actually have some decent weather - wasn't sure anyone would buy dresses while it was snowing lol! What are the new posting rules? I haven't noticed anything...

I'm getting better at tackling the real issues I think but if I'm honest still not all the way there. I'm getting a bonus this month as the team did really well on our recent project and we all get a piece of the pie. I had to stop myself going online shopping thinking - i deserve this. I've decided to compromise and put half towards stuff we need to do in the house and half towards paying off OD.

Job was going great before I had a dip and then I lost momentum again but managing to cover it up well enough I think. I didn't get my promotion in the end. We restructured and lost staff so I was just pleased to keep my job in the end. Think it's just gonna be a waiting game till the economy improves. I'm finding it easier to live within my means when things are going well and when the debt is gone it'll be a lot more comfortable obviously - extra £300 a month. Seems huge doesnt it? - means I must have been living beyond my means by at least that much a month on a higher wage as well. Very sobering thought and never want to be in this position again.

Just need to work on spotting triggers when things are bad.

and I like thinking of the 'how many paydays better off' idea :-) Thinking of how many paydays left till DFD was more of a hindrance than a help to be honest...

dolly0808

Hi. i have been reading your posts and you and i could be related!! Same scenarios etc..head in sand..always thinking it will be fine..will start paying things off next week..next month then bam..my husband found a bank statment with my £2800 overdraft..needless to say its been a tough few days and i know its not going to be easy. By not telling him he was more upset by the lies than the actual debt. He told me if i wanted to make our marriage work i had to be totally honest with him. He is disapointed but loves me and told me when he married me it was for life. Even though i feel pretty crappy at the moment a HUGE ruddy great big feeling of dred has now gone and i feel that between us we will get rid of my debt (£13400) and move on. Hope you find the courage to tell your Dh rather than making yourself ill. You may be suprised xx

LaughingLorna

Thanks Dolly - It always helps to hear from somebody in the same boat :-) Still can't bring myself to tell him. I was discussing this with a friend who has told her husband but not about the full extent of her debt. I want to tell him at some point but after the debt is paid so I can have a clean slate but without worrying him. I'm really glad it has made things better for you though - I can imagine the relief :-)

I have paid off my overdraft as planned with the bonus money and still managed to put a bit towards house because I got a little more than expected. Also applied for a couple more long term balance transfer cards now i've had a little pay rise. I got accepted :-) means I don't have to pay the BT charges every 6 months.I haven't added to the debt so I'm learning. (Last time I got a BT deal I spent up and transferred it over - prior to my LBM).

I'm realising again and again that it's a series of LBMs. I learn a little more each time and I guess that's the silver lining of having a longer debt free journey. I know citizen kitten talked about having a few setbacks even towards the end of her journey.

I'm feeling better now I have 20 months on the cc - It's an achievable deadline to pay down the ccs and feeling positive about it. Head well and truly out of the sand :-)

Have you set up a debt free diary yet Dolly? I get so much support from mine and especially in the early days. Let me know if you do and I'll subscribe and help where I can. Well done for joining - the dread and crappy feeling gets less on here

citizenkitten

well done on keeping your job and getting a bonus - that is fantastic news! Good news on the BTs too.

had a very blippy last month (see even debt free you have your light bulb moments) with going from paying off my debts to saving up for a wedding, i got pretty depressed i didnt have one month of splurge - see still got plenty of mental stuff to work on!! anyway so I did splurge last month, but i recognise now I was being completely unrealistic and that i should have celebrated my debt freeness in a way where i got to say goodbye to that and then say hello and look forward to wedding saving.

this weekend i am visiting my grandparents for my monthly visit, it is a place where i can spend lots of money, lovely little food shops and lots of nice places to eat, i will be visiting other friends so temptation everywhere. but I will stay strong otherwise i am seriously going to review my wedding budget!

i hope the good weather has picked up everyone's spirit

LaughingLorna

Loving the good weather -made such a difference to my mood and means i can get out instead of fighting the urge to do internet shopping!!
You have such a good way of turning around your thinking -its inspirational!!! I bet you will apply the same creativity to your wedding planning and itll be awesome!!! :-D