Splitting up - what happens to the profit from the house sale?

friendofchocolate

Well, the idea was to wait until civil partnerships are brought in for straight couples, but sadly it's too late for that :-(

Dylan, the work comes in fits and starts, and I feel that it's all I've been doing recently. But it's not guaranteed and can go through dry periods of months and months. And I am constantly striving to look for more secure stuff I can do at home - in the first instance - though am of course exploring all the options. I'm not hellbent on remaining a SAHM 100% of the time until youngest DC is in school, despite what many on this thread may think - I'm just fairly sure that it's the most realistic option for now.

friendofchocolate

I've only just noticed the "Thanks" button on here btw - they don't got that on Mumsnet! :-D - so apologies if anyone up to now has felt they've gone un-thanked by me!

CL

I have an 18 month old and work full time. I use my annual leave to take a day off every fortnight to be at home with my DD, as does my DH. DH and I both work, because we have a mortgage to pay and don't particularly agree with claiming benefits unless you don't have any other option.

Mojisola wrote: »

So did her OH but he could walk away with £40k in his pocket and carry on working full-time.

I really don't agree with bashing the men in this situation. The ex gets £40k, as does the OP. The ex will have to pay rent or mortgage payments on a new home, as does the OP. The ex will have to support his children (through agreed maintenance or the CSA), as will the OP. The ex will have to work to support his outgoings, as should the OP.

FATBALLZ

Dunroamin wrote: »

I always wonder why people say they've "earned" the equity in a property when most of it has come about simply by the inflation of property prices.

I was thinking the exact same thing. OP has had a £40k mostly unearned windfall. Now by circumstance they are going to lose most of that. So they'll just be back where they started. Tough cheese.

Mojisola

CL wrote: »

I really don't agree with bashing the men in this situation. The ex gets £40k, as does the OP. The ex will have to pay rent or mortgage payments on a new home, as does the OP. The ex will have to support his children (through agreed maintenance or the CSA), as will the OP. The ex will have to work to support his outgoings, as should the OP.

I wasn't bashing the OP's ex. I was looking at the inequalities.

In fact, there are problems on both sides when a couple break up. In some situations, the PWC can be in quite a comfortable financial situation; in others it's the absent parent who can keep a good financial status.

mgdavid

OP you have a PM...

wanchai_2

friendofchocolate wrote: »

Housing benefit, until I get a job? Why should I have to fritter away the money I have accumulated through hard work, simply because I am now caring for my young children? No point me getting a job which will be totally negated by childcare costs anyway. My ex-partner will not have to do this with his £40k - he can invest it, put down a deposit on a second property, etc etc. Fair?

Sorry if I'm being naive - I obviously am - and about to get flamed, I suspect. Can't I give it to someone in trust for my children? What would actually happen if I locked it away for 10 years in a bond with no access?

Nobody accumulates equity in their house through hard work :rotfl:

I've only read page 1 of this thread so far, but this statement is laughable.

GobbledyGook

wanchai wrote: »

Nobody accumulates equity in their house through hard work :rotfl:

I've only read page 1 of this thread so far, but this statement is laughable.

Unless they bought a wreck of a house and put hard work into fixing and repairing it and making it worth more...

FATBALLZ

GobbledyGook wrote: »

Unless they bought a wreck of a house and put hard work into fixing and repairing it and making it worth more...

Loads of people say that but it's usually total crap isn't it... We've painted a couple of rooms in ours, but if that's put more than the £20 we paid for the paint onto the value of the house I'll be amazed. People just like to think doing a bit of dusting, hammering nails and painting justifies the £100k of equity that has magically appeared.

newcook

friendofchocolate wrote: »

The_cat, I'm not "intending" anything. I was simply asking whether it would be possible. I accept that it's not. But I was never planning on "hiding" anything - just putting it aside for a decade or so! In an ideal world, don't you think that society would see it as desirable that I have assets to put my kids through university and become useful members of society? Helping to safeguard them against becoming drains on the state 20 or 30 years down the line? I know, I know, it's all a bit too utopian and hippy-dippy. :-D

Of course I'm contributing financially - I'm saving the family around £2k a month in childcare at the moment! Though most people don't see it like that - for some reason, staying at home to look after your children - despite the fact that I frequently slave away on the computer in the evenings till after midnight - is seen as the lazy option.

Again though, they may not want to go to Uni – or are you also saying that in 20 years time you will say to the state ‘thanks for supporting me all those years ago while I had that money aside for my kids - turns out it wasn’t needed after all so here’s the money back’

I didn’t think so either.


Also, why would childcare cost £2k a month?! Child minders are cheaper than nurseries and from what I can gather on different threads on here most employers offer childcare vouchers as part of payment.

Ive never considered SAHM to be lazy - a friend of mine is a SAHM to 4 children so I fully appreciate how hard it is. however, she also has a small cleaning job that she fits around the children and is often on ebay selling things her children no longer need.