Splitting up - what happens to the profit from the house sale?

friendofchocolate

The_cat, I'm not "intending" anything. I was simply asking whether it would be possible. I accept that it's not. But I was never planning on "hiding" anything - just putting it aside for a decade or so! In an ideal world, don't you think that society would see it as desirable that I have assets to put my kids through university and become useful members of society? Helping to safeguard them against becoming drains on the state 20 or 30 years down the line? I know, I know, it's all a bit too utopian and hippy-dippy. :-D

Of course I'm contributing financially - I'm saving the family around £2k a month in childcare at the moment! Though most people don't see it like that - for some reason, staying at home to look after your children - despite the fact that I frequently slave away on the computer in the evenings till after midnight - is seen as the lazy option.

thorsoak

Let us not forget that BOTH parents loose out by divorce - as do the children. We do not know what has gone on in a marriage - nor do we need to know - what we should be doing (and which most people are doing) is pointing the OP in the right direction as to what she can do now - not trying to score nasty points off each other.

Obviously, early on in the marriage BOTH partners decided that the OP would be a SAHM - otherwise things would have broken down a long time ago.

It can't be easy, deciding that a marriage is over - especially where childen are involved - and most people are blissfully unaware - until it hits them/their relatives/friends - exactly what they are entitled to/or have to pay.

friendofchocolate

Thanks again, Thorsoak, I'm appreciating the helpful advice and remaining unaffected by the anti-SAHM vitriol.

We're not married, in fact, though I don't think that makes much difference for the purposes of this thread.

DylanO

friendofchocolate wrote: »

Thanks again, Thorsoak, I'm appreciating the helpful advice and remaining unaffected by the anti-SAHM vitriol.

We're not married, in fact, though I don't think that makes much difference for the purposes of this thread.

Actually, it does. If you'd married, you would have had a better financial settlement.

friendofchocolate

Why would I get more than half if I was married, Dylan?

the_cat

friendofchocolate wrote: »

The_cat, I'm not "intending" anything. I was simply asking whether it would be possible. I accept that it's not. But I was never planning on "hiding" anything - just putting it aside for a decade or so!
Thank you for clarifying. That is certainly not the impression that your posts so far have conveyed


In an ideal world, don't you think that society would see it as desirable that I have assets to put my kids through university and become useful members of society? Helping to safeguard them against becoming drains on the state 20 or 30 years down the line? I know, I know, it's all a bit too utopian and hippy-dippy. :-D Yeah, in an ideal world! Although there are many, many problems that this country faces far more important than that tbh. Plus there is the irony of you being 'a drain' now in order that they might be spared it later on. Might be better for you to worry about the immediate stuff rather than what might happen in 30 years time;)

Of course I'm contributing financially - I'm saving the family around £2k a month in childcare at the moment! Though most people don't see it like that - for some reason, staying at home to look after your children - despite the fact that I frequently slave away on the computer in the evenings till after midnight - is seen as the lazy option.

The much maligned SAHM eh?! I was one too. I know how hard it is (although no part of my job as 'mum' required a midnight stint on the computer..... When my kids were small I didn't even own one, couldn't afford to!:D)

I know it is hard to find suitable work to fit around a family too. I guess you have 2 choices.... try and find a way of making a job/your freelance part of your income, or accept that your assets will have to tide you over. Yeah, it sucks. But that's life I'm afraid... Oh, and make sure that you get EVERYTHING you are entitled to from the ex.

It's the potential option 3 that made my go nuclear:o Making the taxpayer take up the slack unfairly sounded like your preferred option. I accept your statement that this is now off the table

DylanO

friendofchocolate wrote: »

The_cat, I'm not "intending" anything. I was simply asking whether it would be possible. I accept that it's not. But I was never planning on "hiding" anything - just putting it aside for a decade or so! In an ideal world, don't you think that society would see it as desirable that I have assets to put my kids through university and become useful members of society? Helping to safeguard them against becoming drains on the state 20 or 30 years down the line? I know, I know, it's all a bit too utopian and hippy-dippy. :-D

Of course I'm contributing financially - I'm saving the family around £2k a month in childcare at the moment! Though most people don't see it like that - for some reason, staying at home to look after your children - despite the fact that I frequently slave away on the computer in the evenings till after midnight - is seen as the lazy option.

All for such a paltry sum - that makes no sense. Perhaps you should look into getting a real job that pays a real wage, rather than messing about on the internet pretending to 'slave away'.

the_cat

friendofchocolate wrote: »

Why would I get more than half if I was married, Dylan?

My married friend got a settlement of 60% of the house/assets and 40% of his pension rights which was done to reflect that she had stayed at home during their marriage to look after their kids and basically scuppered her chances of better paid employment by doing so (they were teens though so she had been out of work longer than you)

DylanO

friendofchocolate wrote: »

Why would I get more than half if I was married, Dylan?

Depending on the length of the marriage, all the assets would be split between you. As you didn't take advantage of a legal union, you're only entitled to your share of what your name is on. If he has £500,000 in a bank account in his name, that money is his and his alone.

The upside is that your assets, owned solely by you, are yours.

jetplane

friendofchocolate wrote: »

Jetplane, perhaps I should just start again with a new thread, then, eh? ;-)

Maybe you should. However as soon as you mention benefits on MSE the benefit bashers come out so you will still have to ignore those posts.

Get a solicitor, stay put, ensure your children receive financial advantage from their father and claim benefits if you need to :eek: