Daughter invited on holiday

nickyhutch

Cat501 wrote: »

From where? She's only 16! Really don't want to be offensive but I think that's pretty mean unless she's actually out working

From a part-time job, saving up from birthday and christmas money? Only 16? Should we not be encouraging our kids to be saving for this sort of thing?

Cat501

nickyhutch wrote: »

From a part-time job, saving up from birthday and christmas money? Only 16? Should we not be encouraging our kids to be saving for this sort of thing?

Yeah - only 16

What if they don't have a part time job? It's not that easy these days. My DD had excellent exam results and applied for over 80 jobs before going to college. I believe she had one acknowledgement.

And yes, encouraging them to an extent - but on the other hand I think kids should be able to have fun and enjoy themselves while they can without TOO much responsibility because it won't last long.

I wonder - would those who say a kid should be responsible for their own spending money be willing to make a contribution if the kid had saved some themselves?

I dunno, I LIKE being able to chip in to help my kids have fun occasionally, and maybe do things I didn't do when I was their age, but I'm beginning to feel like that's a bit strange! For example, my DD (17) went to London yesterday for a couple of days with some friends to see her favourite band. She paid for travel, a hostel and the gig tickets herself from her EMA - but me, her dad, her gran and her great-gran have all chipped in with spending money so she can make the most of the experience and I don't see anything wrong in that at all!

sooz

When my lot stay with friends for the weekend, I give the eldest £40 in a card & envelope to give to the mum, & the note in the card suggests it's to be used towards a takeaway one night so that they don't have to cook, & a big thank you for having them all for the weekend. It's up to them if they use it for that, use just some, or just into the general shopping kitty. He just thinks it's a thank you card.

He's a little younger, but I wouldn't want him being stressed by ordering food for everyone &/or wondering if he had enough money.

That is to feed 2 adults, 3 under 6 years and an almost teenager with hollow legs :rotfl:

nickyhutch

Cat501 wrote: »

Yeah - only 16

What if they don't have a part time job? It's not that easy these days. My DD had excellent exam results and applied for over 80 jobs before going to college. I believe she had one acknowledgement. Spends, or allowance?

And yes, encouraging them to an extent - but on the other hand I think kids should be able to have fun and enjoy themselves while they can without TOO much responsibility because it won't last long.

I wonder - would those who say a kid should be responsible for their own spending money be willing to make a contribution if the kid had saved some themselves? Yes, I would.

I dunno, I LIKE being able to chip in to help my kids have fun occasionally, and maybe do things I didn't do when I was their age, but I'm beginning to feel like that's a bit strange! For example, my DD (17) went to London yesterday for a couple of days with some friends to see her favourite band. She paid for travel, a hostel and the gig tickets herself from her EMA - but me, her dad, her gran and her great-gran have all chipped in with spending money so she can make the most of the experience and I don't see anything wrong in that at all!

I don't see anything wrong with it, either, because she's paid for the bulk of it herself (although I thought EMA was for education expenses). Of course we should chip in and help our kids out, but at 16/17/18, they should be aware that they can and should be chipping in themselves.

Lunar_Eclipse

Cat501 wrote: »

We're all different but I think a 16 year old has enough years of budgeting and worrying ahead of them without having to keep a contingency fund from their pocket money.

I agree that we're all different and have varied priorities in terms of our children's (financial) education, but I also think childhood is the best time to learn how to budget, manage money and make mistakes, on a basic level, when the stakes are so small. The risks of financial ruin are negligible/minimal.

My 10 and 12 year olds have saved some of their pocket money, for holidays, for years. It'll be interesting to see how well the eldest does now that she's starting to have a social life though.

No harm in giving them some spending money for holidays either. Life's short, live it to the max!

Lunar_Eclipse

sooz wrote: »

When my lot stay with friends for the weekend, I give the eldest £40 in a card & envelope to give to the mum, & the note in the card suggests it's to be used towards a takeaway one night so that they don't have to cook, & a big thank you for having them all for the weekend. It's up to them if they use it for that, use just some, or just into the general shopping kitty. He just thinks it's a thank you card.

I think that's a lovely idea ... right down to the secretive component!

Mrs_Imp

She's 16 so she will be able to cook a decent meal for six, and take some of the burden off her hosts for one dinner.

aliasojo

Mrs_Imp wrote: »

She's 16 so she will be able to cook a decent meal for six, and take some of the burden off her hosts for one dinner.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Sorry.

I'd left home and had my own place at 16 and I couldn't cook to save my life.

pinkladyof66

aliasojo wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Sorry.

I'd left home and had my own place at 16 and I couldn't cook to save my life.

Cook a meal for 6 my neice cant even make a cup of tea for 6 people and she is nearly 17 :eek:

Gleek

Valli wrote: »

so, say a 'fish-and-chip' supper at, say, £10 a head would be ok? - it's 3 nights at Mablethorpe...DD is SO excited! She could be trusted with it!

No debit card - it will be a cash deal. (but that would have been a good idea - so thanks)

Oooh yay I recommend Fantasy Island if your DD's friends have a car - tis less than an hour away from Mablethorpe http://fantasyisland.co.uk/ (Though I must admit we go for the market and not the rides :rotfl: )

Mablethorpe is pretty reasonable food cost wise, a tenner a head would get you loads so that's more than enough, you could maybe even make it £40 instead of £60 if things are tight and they'd still get loads we're only a bit further along the coast and can feed three at the chippy for just under £9 and that includes one having a massive piece of fish.

ETA: I like the goodies idea too. And obviously eating/doing stuff off-site is much MUCH cheaper!