Bit of advice please

LurkerTurnedPoster

BlackHoleSun wrote: »

Move to Canal Street Manchester,
Brighton Kemptown,
Insert town with the pink pound.

Don't be the only gay in the village, be in a village full of gays.
Then when you have found out who you are, and been in an accepting environment you can come out as gay to your family at a time you can deal with their reactions, and maybe you will have spoken to others that have been through the experience and can advise you of the best way to go about it. When you are feeling confident about what you are telling your parents and are in a happier satisfied point in your life, they wont take it as worrying news because you wont be anxious yourself.

They would possibly be more concerned at you moping round the house at a loose end and not feeling fulfilled, than at you getting on with being who you were born to be and being the best you possible.

marisco_2

Fantastic post LTP. Very wise words.

BlackHoleSun

I have accepted who I am and i'm happy about it so i don't need to go out there and do that.

LurkerTurnedPoster

You don't sound happy from what you have written. You may be happy to be gay to yourself, but you are expressing feeings of not feeling happy with people around you knowing, and not being happy living with your parents that don't know, in a town where you have to hide, your job that you feel like quitting and with not much of a social life.

They say that if you keep doing what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got.

If you don't make a change you are going to be stuck indefinitely and you deserve to be happy and find somewhere in life you will feel a part of, rather than apart from.

Good luck whatever you do. xx

FatVonD

LurkerTurnedPoster wrote: »

Move to Canal Street Manchester,
Brighton Kemptown,
Insert town with the pink pound.

Don't be the only gay in the village, be in a village full of gays.
Then when you have found out who you are, and been in an accepting environment you can come out as gay to your family at a time you can deal with their reactions, and maybe you will have spoken to others that have been through the experience and can advise you of the best way to go about it.

This with knobs on. Life is short, get out there and start living.

Amanda65

BlackHoleSun wrote: »

I have accepted who I am and i'm happy about it so i don't need to go out there and do that.

Re- read what you typed in your first post

BlackHoleSun wrote: »

The lack of a social life is starting to really bother me, I’monly 23. When I’m not working I’m just sat in the house doing nothing. I wantmore than that. But I know that if I stay here I’m not going to get it.

I moved out a couple of months ago and although it helped alot, I still wasn’t happy. That’s why I know if I do it it has to be somewherenew where I can be myself and not worry about people finding out all the time.

So you're not happy and do need to get out there and socialise otherwise the only alternative is to sit at home moping which is what you say you are doing now.

Also, and I appreciate I know nothing about your family situation, I would just like to say that as a parent, my only concern for my children in that they are happy in their own skin and it may be your parents would feel the same. You sound really unhappy and I am sure they realise this and would like the opportunity to help. Why not give them the chance to surprise you with their reaction?

BlackHoleSun

Thanks for all the advice

LurkerTurnedPoster

BlackHoleSun wrote: »

Thanks for all the advice

Love and light xx

cutestkids

Hi

Reading what you have written it seems to be much more than being gay that is causing you problems.

You state, you don't get on with your parents, you don't get on with/like any of your workmates and you have no friends.

I think you really need to look at the reasons why you don't deem to be able to get along with others, until you can look at that and try to do something about it you will never be truly happy.

Make-it-3

Is there anyone in your life who knows you are gay?

I'm all for making a clean start somewhere else, and it sounds like you have nothing to lose by doing so, but the question is do you feel comfortable in yourself to be open and honest about your sexuality to new people you will meet.

If you move away and hide who you really are you will end up in a similar situation to you are now.

I agree, a move to a part of the country with a big gay community may help you to get the confidence to be who you are and then you can look at tackling telling your parents/old friends down the line.