Teacher is lying

ViolaLass

Wouldn't having ASD be more difficult to live with than having the label of ASD?

In other words, if he does have ASD, what extra harm can the label do? A diagnosis is simply a description of what IS - it doesn't cause anything.

ecgirl07

would you send someone to school with a peanut allergy and not tell the school?

would you send someone to school with asthma and not tell the school?

so why send someone to school who has been diagnosed at 4 with some form of autism and not tell the school?

From the point of view of the school it is very frustrating not being able to help someone, especially someone who is anxious without having the full picture. I can't understand why you would not want your son fully diagnosed and all the help that diagnosis would offer. Dealing with your sons "some form of autism" in the correct manner would help massively with his anxiety ie visual timetables, social stories etc would it not?

poet123

concerned43 wrote: »

My DS was referred to CAMHS to get help with anxiety. Instead of treating that they i.e. an unqualified social worker subjected him to a barrage of assessments for ASD without our consent or knowledge - this took 6 months - 6 months without his anxiety being treated!!
When they told me they believed my DS had Aspergers I was shocked - not because of Aspergers but because I had no idea they were assessing him for it! I told them to stop the assessments as I did not want my son diagnosed as asked that they concentrate on treating my DS's anxiety (which was getting worse).
They did not stop their assessments and came back and told me he did not have Aspergers but ASD! I made a complaint and finally got them to tackle his anxiety. He was given Cognitive behavioural therapy (two sessions) the latter I attended and found the social worker reading it all from a book! it was obvious that she did not have a clue about cognitive therapy.
I then had a review meeting at the school which CAMHS were present and the they stated that my DS did not have ASD! (which I was not informed of nor gave permission to have this information disclosed to the school).
The head said that my son had 'attachment issues' and that she was 'greatly concerned' as he did not have an independent life away from me!! - which is absolute nonsense as DS has many things outside school he does without me - in fact mre then any of his friends and therefore her statement was without any foundation or fact. no one at that school knows what my DS does outside of school!
The impact of her saying what she did meant that all support for DS at the school is to get him to be more independent by inviting him to school clubs!! none of which interest my DS and he has so many other interests/activities outside school that he does not fell he has the time to take on more! The school are also putting him in situations that increase his anxiety because as the Head put it "he has to learn that life is difficult"! - this has led to considerable conflict with the school.
Furthermore, in the reply from the NHS, the social worker at CAMHS is not qualified to carry out assessments for ASD, she has no training or qualifications to carry out cognitive therapy and she had no right to divulge personal information to the school - hence why I am suing.

PS - I don't want my son formally diagnosed with ASD/Aspergers as I believe it will have a detrimental effect on him! and although I did not say anything to CAMHS, I already knew my son had some form of Autism as he was assessed for it at 4 years old!

CAHMS work in tandem with schools so I suspect you wil find that legally if they believe it is beneficial to the child they are allowed to disclose such information.

I am at a loss as to why you seem to be fighting the very agencies that, if harnessed correctly, can get your son the help he obviously needs. If the list of his issues previously posted by you is correct ( and in my experience they are typical ASD descriptors) then you really are doing him no favours with this stance.

I suspect that your issue is that you feel your parenting style is being questioned if you accept that he has attachment issues. That may well be true, but if your son is to achieve any semblance of independence you have to put this aside and work with those who are trying to help, not against them. Talk of suing will, not unnaturally, make them retreat from your case and your son will fall through the cracks in the system. To be blunt, you will not always be here, and you owe it to him to get him some help with all his issues not just the ones you feel are acceptable.

ASD and anxiety often go hand in hand and why wouldn't they? If the world around you feels alien, and you feel distanced from it, is it any wonder you feel anxious? Tackling the main issue will ease the anxiety. I can understand why you shrink from a label, and in less extreme cases of ASD it may not be necessary, but the detail you give does not point to such a minor difficulty.

Having the label will be a passport to help, take it and use it to help your son, he, not you, will be the long term loser if you cannot do this. And, I am sorry to be blunt, but if you cannot do this, the root of the attachment issues can probably be fairly laid at your door. It is not logical or fair behaviour for a caring parent, but smacks of control and the inability to see the obvious.

notakid

Well said Poet.

They probably didn't call it Aspergers as officially now it is not a diagnosis in itself. It is now considered to be part of ASD.

Anxiety for people with ASD is terrible. My poor son suffers badly. It helps that he can understand the reasons are down to his ASD. He can try to be objective about what causes his worries and obsessions.

Can't add anything else as Poet and others have articulated all I feel about the situation.

JC9297

Agree with previous posters about anxiety being part of asd, in fact autism could be considered an anxiety disorder as many of the symptoms/behaviours present as a result of anxiety.

Sorry OP I really don't understand your reluctance to accept a diagnosis, if your son had a physical symptom e.g. pain,you wouldn't ask a doctor just to treat the symptom without finding out the cause.

meritaten

concerned43 wrote: »

so what access to resources do you think my DS would be entitled to and why, apart from his anxiety, would he need them?
and apart from his anxiety what exactly is my son struggling with?[/QUOTE]

he is struggling with a world he doesnt understand hun and one that doesnt understand him!
he is also struggling with a parent who doesnt understand too!
your post shows that you understand nothing about Autism, ASD or Aspergers - apart from your reluctance to allow your son to be treated for them.
I feel so sorry for him and wish I hadnt helped with a letter to the LEA.
by refuting any diagnosis YOU are making it much harder for your son to get the help he needs (but then - it has to be as 'anxiety disorder' or YOU wont accept it).
I cant post again as I am so furious that you wont let your son be helped because he will be 'labelled' I am liable to say things which would get me thrown off this site - never mind the thread!

I have a grandson and granddaughter with Aspergers, A nephew with severe Autism, and others on the ASD spectrum - their parents have fought for years to get their diagnoses to enable them to get the help and support they need - and YOU - YOU have the diagnosis - the school is trying to help and all you care about is NOT labelling and its NOT helping your son!

well concerned, this is YOUR label...... 'mother'! and a 'mother' always does her best for a child!

Amanda65

: Originally Posted by Amanda65
My only experience of this is when I was Chair of the SEN committee as a governor at my son's school so am under no illusions that I understand the situation fully but would like to see if I can help but wonder if you could answer the following please concerned43.

1) Your DS has anxiety issues yet outside of school seems to function very well with all of his activities / interest etc. so how does the anxiety manifest itself and is it only apparent in school? If not what strategies etc. are in place to help him outside of school to enable him to cope?

His anxiety is mainly at school and this is because he cannot understand his peers - he cannot interpret their comments/questions etc. His daily life at school changes daily and he cannot deal with change. His outside activities are fine because I ensure knows exactly what to expect while at the activities i.e. who is going to be there, what he is going to be doing there, how long he is going to be there for etc.


2) DS was diagnosed with ASD aged 4 - on what basis? How has this not been part of his medical / school records (an a little confused about how the school cannot know) and is the anxiety as a result of the ASD or supplementary to it?

He was not formally diagnosed! he attended a private school (pre school) and was assessed for junior school. They told me he was not suitable as part of there assessment highlighted that DS has autism and was given the same of a private organisation who would formally diagnose him. I believe his anxiety stems from his ASD.

3) What do you think would help DS at this moment in time? Could he be referred for CBT through the GP rather than CAHMS?

A combination of medication and therapy. This is in line with GP's recommendations!

4) With regard to 'labels', I know from my time on SEN committee how very difficult it is to get extra funding for students with extra needs and without some form of formal diagnosis the schools hands are tied as they cannot apply for the funding and therefore will not have the extra resources you think your DS may benefit from. If they have his records that say he has ASD, and you want extra help for him, they are not goign to be able to provide that without money and I am at a little bit of a loss to see how you expect them to.

I moved 30 miles so DS can attend this school because it has its own special needs unit, which DS attends!

I'm not trying to be critical, and if you think I'm being too nosey feel free to ignore post, but I am genuinely intrigued by your current stance

---

I have highlighted you answers in red to make it easier to see what it what. The main problem to me seems to be that your DS needs extra help in school to cope with his problems with understanding what is going on around him and that help probably needs to be an additional staff member to explain things to him fully. Without a diagnosis / label whatever you want to call it the LA will not provide the funding for this and therefore the school are unable to offer your DS the support he needs.

coolcait

OP, you are sending out mixed messages to this forum - so how do you think you are coming across to the school, CAHMS, your GP and all the other professionals you are dealing with, and deriding?

In January you started a thread about your autistic son being made to wear shorts for PE. You wrote 'autistic son' - in the title, and throughout the thread.

At the time, it seemed to suit you to have him 'labelled', but not now.

Why is that?

If you are describing a genuine situation (and I did have my doubts at the point you suggested shaving your son's legs so that he would wear shorts to PE), then you are also describing a situation where you are very much part of the problem rather than the solution.

What do you truly want for your son?

- for him to get all the help he needs, so that he can become the person he is fully capable of being?

or

- for him to get all the help you are willing to allow, so that he can be the person you think he is, and within the parameters that you are willing to accept?

duchy

I know my son struggled with the sheer number of people and size of his school-far too much going on around him-and yes he got badly bullied for being different. He was statemented -and I found the statement to be invaluable and enabled me to get him moved from his state secondary to a small private school run on college lines at the begining of year nine. His anxiety levels plummeted and he left with 7 GCSEs from A-C and has gone on to further education and hopes to study business at university. Without a statement we wouldn't have had a snowballs chance in hell of getting the school funded.

Nicki

I don't completely understand OP's stance but a few of the more recent responses to her have made me feel very uncomfortable.

What seems to me to have happened is that OP has never been fortunate enough to find her son under the care of a professional who she can trust and who is competent to assess the child for a range of conditions, explain the ramifications to the OP and come up with a care plan which OP agrees with. So the OP and her son have bounced around in the system a bit, with the result that the child hasnt been able to access the support he needs and OP is left feeling hostile and defensive at all those who have so far failed him. How to sort this out though is the issue though, and berating the OP for not accepting a diagnosis which we have no way of knowing is correct doesn't seem to me to be a pleasant or helpful way to behave. Being told by a member of staff in a private school at the age of 4 that your child may be autistic doesn't sound to me to be a cast iron fully credible diagnosis, particularly as it appears no follow on support was put in place afterwards.

I know you are very anti labels OP, but it is important to have a working hypothesis before strategies can be put in place to help your child. If he is somewhere in the spectrum (and to be honest he may be - a lot of his traits are similar to my DD who is profoundly autistic) then the causes of his problems are very different to other mental health difficulties and need different strategies. An autistic child will need boundaries, structures, routines and to learn to work round his limitations and avoid situations which cause profound distress and can't be worked round. He is unlikely to benefit much from strategies like CBT. A child with PTSD from an early childhood trauma however would benefit from CBT. A child with phobias and OCD traits might need to be subjected to continuous exposure to his fears to desensitise him and help him to lead a normal life. That would never work with an autistic child and would be immensely cruel. And a child with depressive or psychotic tendencies might need medication which would be unsuitable for children in any of the other categories. So, it isn't really possible to treat the most prevalent presenting symptom, without an educated guess as to the underlying cause, because the wrong treatment could make things a lot worse for the child and cause unnecessary suffering. Likewise, the school needs to know what the issues are and how to support your child, and attempting to withhold this information from them isn't in your child's best interests though you could certainly require it to be kept on a need to know basis.

Your child has been seen by CAMHS. Has he been seen and assessed by a psychiatrist? Has he had an Asdos assessment for autism? Have the results of these assessments been shared with you and have you had a full chance to ask questions in a non confrontational setting? Is there any chance of accessing a second opinion, via a GP referral, or by paying privately? Finally, has the relationship with the school broken down completely do you think? Would it be better for you and your child to start afresh somewhere new?