Groom calls off wedding

Ron_Cook

We as the parents of the bride agreed to pay for the costs of our daughters wedding this year. However the groom decided he didn't want to get married the day after we paid 50% of the wedding package costs to the venue. Now I've contacted the venue and asked if we can have some money back as we've paid out over £4,300 and am awaiting the return of the wedding manager from holiday to learn the amount the venue are prepared to return.

Should we shoulder all of the cancellation costs or should the groom? Or should they be split 50/50?

BitterAndTwisted

What people should do is rarely what they actually do, most especially when it comes to money. Expect to not see a penny from the groom or his family.

Your daughter appears to have had a very lucky escape, shame that it was at the expense of such a large sum of your money. Perhaps she could save up and pay you back?

DVardysShadow

How are things between the 2 of them? Is it complete puzzlement as to why he called it off? Is it actually a relief that this has happened?

If the dust has not settled, then don't rush to sort this out until the settled view is that it is off.

pinkshoes

If he knew you were going to pay, then called it off the day after, then he should pay the whole lot!

skypie123_2

This happened to me many years ago. One month before our wedding the groom called it off.
My poor parents and I had to 'dismantle' the entire wedding and my parents ended up paying the costs. The groom and his family didn't want to know.
I think your daughter had a lucky escape. She must be devastated. He ought to pay the costs that you've had to pay. Chances are though he won't do. Your daughter is well rid. If he was any kind of man he would deal with his responsibility and sort out the mess he has created.

whitewing

I think the contract would be between you and the venue, although I agree that the groom should pay really. I also agree that it is a lucky escape for your daughter, someone I worked with was dumped on her wedding day.

Is it your daughter the groom is rejecting or the pomp and circumstance of a glorious wedding ceremony? I agree with keeping it calm and quiet for the time being to see how things pan out, although obviously you will have to liase with the venue.

Kitten_Pie

Who signed the contract? I believe legally whoever signed the contract would be held responsible. Morally it should be whoever called of the wedding, both if an amicable agreement.

When we got married everything was in my husband to be's name it isn't until now that I have realised how he had left himself wide open financially should I have changed my mind.

arbroath_lass

Depends on WHY he called off the wedding.

grannybroon

The contract will be between you and the venue but morally the costs should at least be reimbursed in part by the groom. We had wedding cancellation insurance for my daughter's wedding which thankfully we didn't require!

marywooyeah

whitewing wrote: »

I think the contract would be between you and the venue, although I agree that the groom should pay really. I also agree that it is a lucky escape for your daughter, someone I worked with was dumped on her wedding day.

Kitten_Pie wrote: »

Who signed the contract? I believe legally whoever signed the contract would be held responsible. Morally it should be whoever called of the wedding, both if an amicable agreement.

When we got married everything was in my husband to be's name it isn't until now that I have realised how he had left himself wide open financially should I have changed my mind.

yes, you will be liable as you entered into the contract, the venue does not have to return the deposit but if you paid over and above that you could negoiate the return of the remainder. I have heard that people have got the money back if the venue later "sells" the same day to another couple, thus mitigating their loss and making the same amount of money off the next couple.

arbroath_lass wrote: »

Depends on WHY he called off the wedding.

Ultimately if I were in your position I would be asking the ex groom to pay it as he must have been considering calling it off at the time when you paid the money out, but I agree with the above poster that it depends why. for example, if he called it off because your daughter cheated on him (not saying she did, just hypothetical) then he would really have little choice but to call it off so it would be your daughter's fault and she should pay.

But if he called it off cos he got cold feet/is actually a bit of a bumhole (which I suspect is much more likely) then he should pay.

Sorry you are going through this, I hope your daughter is bearing up ok x

Ron_Cook

We originally paid a deposit of £1300 to the venue followed by a further £3000 last week. All the documentation went to the groom to be and bride as they were living together for two years and they actually signed for things with us paying. There are loads of other things we paid deposits on such as the wedding car, cake etc and our daughter also paid around £2000 for her wedding dress and he has paid nothing at all.

The £3000 was paid on my credit card so is there a remote chance that rule 75 applies here? Not much hope I know, but any straw I can clutch at gives me hope....

He called it off, said he didn't want to live with her any more so she came home in tears. I know it can never be 100% that any single person is to blame but he could have let us know before we had to pay as he knew fine well as all the correspondance went to him.