Controlling Ex... Chapter 2

fluffnutter

masonsmum wrote: »

Received a text today and it said
"thats the forms filled and ready to post and the wheels in motion with my lawyer, you can still end this but once these forms leave there will be no turning back. Does DS readlly need this unrest due to you thinking you are teaching me a lesson, he has a good life with me and wants for nothing, up to you, do what is right for the wee man or teach me a lesson?? Doesnt have to be like this but you hold the cards"

Wow, I've not read your other thread, masonsmum, but does he always talk such drivel? He sounds like a silly, over-dramatic child :rotfl:

masonsmum

Yes this is the sort of "drivel" I need to contend with constantly lol, hopefully when I get my visit from the boys in blue tomorrow they can have a word with him and the hassle will stop, really dont need this in my life, trying to move on, have a good life without him in it and just feel he cannot handle that, if I continued plodding along the way things were it would never have got any better.
I have a new partner and I need to think how I would feel if his ex was contacting him constantly, I know there will always prob need to be some sort of contact until our son is older and can decide for himself what he wants to do but surely there doesnt need to be so much bitterness and arguing over it?? Would love it to be as simple as knowing when my son will be going with his dad and knowing when he will be home so we can send him out to the car then watch for him coming back, not much to ask?

BugglyB

I have a feeling that while ever you are responding to the texts the police will not class it as harrassment. Even if that is for child contact purposes. They might be willing to ring him up and warn him to be nicer to you though!

Really going through the court for access conditions is the best thing that could happen even if it seems scary. You come across (and will do in court) as desperately wanting what is best for your son and his welfare.

newcook

If you haven’t done it yet I would download an app so you can record calls – if the police tell him to stop sending aggressive texts he may think he’s being clever by calling you instead to have a go at you (especially if the police do pay him a visit!!)

masonsmum

Thanks again for all you help and advice, well ended up having to phone the police on Friday evening before I even got my visit from the officers. Ex landed on the doorstep wanting to take DS away even though it was not his access night, so was very calm and told him it was not his night (his night was agreed as being Sat this weekend) and he refused to move from the doorstep, luckily my parents were in so they took DS out to the back garden then to his football training so he was completley unaware of what was occuring.

I called the police and they came out straight away but then he drove away, just told police I was fed up with the hassle etc etc, PC told me he "really not committing a crime, what do you want us to do" so they agreed to get in touch with him and tell him it needs to stop, if we cant reach an agreement on access he needs to "walk away"

So thought this would be the end of it, so he picked DS up on Sat afternoon and brought him back at 5pm last night, DS very strange and quiet, and hardly spoke when he came home, as I was getting him ready for bed he says "Mum you phoned the police on my dad and they came to see my dad to tell him that you are a very bad girl"

I am completly dumbfounded that this is the mentality of this man, telling a 5 year old this?? And he is the one who doesnt want to "upset his life"

Caroline_a

Can I say that from what you've said already I'm not really surprised. So as he can't get his own way with you, he's using a child. Big man then.

All you can do is laugh it off with your little one. 'Silly daddy does say some funny stories, doesn't he!' and move on to another topic. Don't get into a he did- she did conversation with your little boy, far better just to treat it as a joke with him. He will then hopefully treat whatever your ex says with a pinch of salt.