Controlling Ex... Chapter 2

RAS

So how about every Saturday, except on the weeks he works them, when he has Friday?

Since he and you know which weeks he works Saturday, you can plan your lives.

daska

IIRC correctly he has a habit of cancelling at the last moment as well? Treat it as if he's done you a huge favour. "Thank you so much for committing to letting DS know by Tuesday of each week exactly when he's going to see you next. I still think it's a brilliant idea of yours to have it formalised by the court, how soon can you make the application?"

masonsmum

RAS wrote: »

So how about every Saturday, except on the weeks he works them, when he has Friday?

Since he and you know which weeks he works Saturday, you can plan your lives.

Sorry should have said he wont agree to every Friday, Saturday or Sunday, he says he needs his own social life and relationship and he is trying to work his access around his new girlfriends daughters access with her dad, so Ive not only to try and work round him but them as well (sorry if that sounds selfish) but I work as well and want to be able to do things with my son at the weekend.

bluebird

Let the court sort it out,keep your contact minimal and keep all texts.

C_Mababejive

Oh yes,call a lawyer,line their pockets and make the whole thing worse.

daska

Lets be fair, using a lawyer doesn't necessarily make things worse, it can make things a whole lot better, it all depends on the situation. I have nothing but praise for ours, she did a fabulous job.

C_Mababejive

But lawyers are not interested in emotion. They are interested in winning and collecting their fee.

Caroline_a

The court won't look very favourably on his 'I need a social life too'. He either wants to see his son or he doesnt. His child should come above his 'new' family, and he's going to have to deal with that I'm afraid.

I think he's in for a bit of a shock..;)

masonsmum

He has got back to me this evening and states that he is not afraid of court and I will not bully him with the CSA any longer.

He states in the text that he will go for custody for a weekend night (even though he cant commit to one every week) and one night during the week so that I "wont get as much money as I expect"

I presume by this he means the csa payments are reduced if the child stays with the other parent more than 52 nights a year.

I really dont want my son to go through this upheaval and I personally dont want him away from his normal routine, its sometimes a chore to get him to go with his dad at the weekend never mind on a school night, my ex lives 30 minutes away ( I know thats not far compared to some) but we stay 5 minutes from my sons school, my ex starts work at 8am so I dont know how he will manage to get him to school, just worried that could become a reality??

GobbledyGook

If he wants to take your son overnight during the week then he'll have to show how he intends to get him to school. Don't worry about that until it becomes a reality. Let him go for it. He won't get one night at "the weekend" he'll have to have a reasonable plan and that's what he'll get (so every Friday, every Saturday or two Fridays followed by 2 Saturdays etc).

He's trying to bully you into dropping the CSA by insinuating you'll get less money. You know that is what he is doing so don't let him.