what would you do in this birthday party situation?

mcja

He is a very lucky little boy to be having a party at all.
Have a wonderful day with the children that come, and I am sure your son will have a very special birthday.

DylanO

If five of these children do karate and football together then it sounds as if they're a little friendship group on their own.

Quite aside from that - I don't like the implication that parents who put their child's activities before a party of a child they don't know that well, are somehow 'bad' parents. Their activities should be their priority, not your child's party, and it's all very well saying that it's 'just one lesson', but it may well be a pre-paid lesson, or one with gradings.

I also actually think that you repeatedly offering to move the party is quite desperate.

fly_dragon_fly

DylanO wrote: »

If five of these children do karate and football together then it sounds as if they're a little friendship group on their own.

Quite aside from that - I don't like the implication that parents who put their child's activities before a party of a child they don't know that well, are somehow 'bad' parents. Their activities should be their priority, not your child's party, and it's all very well saying that it's 'just one lesson', but it may well be a pre-paid lesson, or one with gradings.

I also actually think that you repeatedly offering to move the party is quite desperate.

I'm just one of those parents who think its rude to decline a party over a activity unless it's for a competition or a once in a life time event ( which I'm sure at the age of 6 /7 it isn't going to be) but then again i also think about the fact that parents have to pay for children that don't turn up anyway so would feel rather guilty that they had to spend £10 a head for 5 children not to turn up over a hobbie as most kids don't have parties on a Friday I can't see it happening often.

As for being desperate it was more the fact that my son has only been at the school for the year so the friends he invited where the ones he plays with most at school so i was being accommodating rather than desperate I offered to change the time and then the day, that was it.

lostinrates

fly_dragon_fly wrote: »

I'm just one of those parents who think its rude to decline a party over a activity unless it's for a competition or a once in a life time event ( which I'm sure at the age of 6 /7 it isn't going to be) but then again i also think about the fact that parents have to pay for children that don't turn up anyway so would feel rather guilty that they had to spend £10 a head for 5 children not to turn up over a hobbie as most kids don't have parties on a Friday I can't see it happening often.

As for being desperate it was more the fact that my son has only been at the school for the year so the friends he invited where the ones he plays with most at school so i was being accommodating rather than desperate I offered to change the time and then the day, that was it.

I hope it all goes well now with the extra invitees.

Fwiw, i do not think its rude to decline because of an activity. It is after all a prior commitment. Parents might feel allowing children to miss it for a party is not helping them learn routine or discipline or commitment. It might be that one or two of the children have aims set rather high in their activity, and yes, this kicks in...even if only from the parents or teachers pov, very young in some disciplines. It may even be that the prior commitment is more appealing to them than the party, it could be their absolute passion in life.

Still there was no need for the parents to be 'off' when declining the invitation.

I hope everyone now coming has a great time and your son has a happy birthday!

warehouse

All my 3 kids do lots of sporting activities and clubs like Guides & Brownies etc. I always ask them what they'd prefer to do, activity or party. Nearly always the reply is "party".

6.30 is ridiculously early for a 6 or 7 year old to be in bed IMHO. My 6 year old lad goes up at 8 - 8.30pm and even then he's usually awake by 7am.

OP, are there playground politics at work here?

DylanO

fly_dragon_fly wrote: »

I'm just one of those parents who think its rude to decline a party over a activity unless it's for a competition or a once in a life time event ( which I'm sure at the age of 6 /7 it isn't going to be) but then again i also think about the fact that parents have to pay for children that don't turn up anyway so would feel rather guilty that they had to spend £10 a head for 5 children not to turn up over a hobbie as most kids don't have parties on a Friday I can't see it happening often.

As for being desperate it was more the fact that my son has only been at the school for the year so the friends he invited where the ones he plays with most at school so i was being accommodating rather than desperate I offered to change the time and then the day, that was it.

So you think it's fine for you to expect those parents to have to pay for karate and football so their child can attend your child's party? Do you not see the glaring hypocrisy there?

lostinrates

warehouse wrote: »

All my 3 kids do lots of sporting activities and clubs like Guides & Brownies etc. I always ask them what they'd prefer to do, activity or party. Nearly always the reply is "party".

6.30 is ridiculously early for a 6 or 7 year old to be in bed IMHO. My 6 year old lad goes up at 8 - 8.30pm and even then he's usually awake by 7am.

OP, are there playground politics at work here?

I wondered about this when i read your post, because i didn't think it was early.
Google gave me this first http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/-/Routine-and-Teamwork/Bedtime-Routine.aspx


I think what suits different people will be different, but i do not think its too early, plus bath, and reading time etc, seems 6:30 is not that weird at all.

fly_dragon_fly

warehouse wrote: »

All my 3 kids do lots of sporting activities and clubs like Guides & Brownies etc. I always ask them what they'd prefer to do, activity or party. Nearly always the reply is "party".

6.30 is ridiculously early for a 6 or 7 year old to be in bed IMHO. My 6 year old lad goes up at 8 - 8.30pm and even then he's usually awake by 7am.

OP, are there playground politics at work here?

probably, it is a bit clique and as i never pick / drop off my son as I'm working i don't really interact with this group of mums.

I do think 6:30pm is silly time you have seen your child for all of 3 hours inbetween cooking dinner doing homework etc when do you get to spend quality time with your child if they go to bed at 6:30pm but thats a different story altogether.

DylanO

fly_dragon_fly wrote: »

probably, it is a bit clique and as i never pick / drop off my son as I'm working i don't really interact with this group of mums.

I do think 6:30pm is silly time you have seen your child for all of 3 hours inbetween cooking dinner doing homework etc when do you get to spend quality time with your child if they go to bed at 6:30pm but thats a different story altogether.

They have all weekend, you know, when you're too busy working to spend quality time with your children.;)

You've got a very self-superior attitude, haven't you?

fly_dragon_fly

DylanO wrote: »

They have all weekend, you know, when you're too busy working to spend quality time with your children.;)

You've got a very self-superior attitude, haven't you?

no i know i'm not perfect in the slightest bit, if i had the choice not to work at the weekend i would jump at the chance but i either worked weekends or i didn't get the job and as i can't afford not to work its something i do but i make sure i spend afterschool and evenings with him rather than send him to bed at 6:30pm just so i can spend time with my husband ( and before you say anything about the kid getting up at stupid o clock he doesn't his parent said they struggle getting him up in the morning as it is so that is not the case) so no I don't have a self superior attitude i just don't agree with a few things the ones I've mentioned being them, now I'm not going to argue over this it's just silly, I asked for advice and I am greatful for those who have replied with helpful advice now it just feels like some people just want to make comments for the sake of commenting so i shall now leave this conversation and you can chat between yourselves.