what would you do in this birthday party situation?

JodyBPM

Hmm, I'd wonder whether for some reason you/your son were being snubbed. My children often miss after school activities etc for parties, so I'm a bit suprised that they are prioritising karate or football over a birthday party! And I wouldn't think that many year 2s still go to bed at 6.30 and can't have a late night on one special occasion...My year 1 & 2 children generally go to bed at 7, but that wouldn't stop me taking them to a party that finished at 7.30 or 8 for a one-off.

I wouldn't rush round trying to change the date or time, I'd simply invite some other friends instead that *did* want to come!

fly_dragon_fly

they are meant to have a grading in a few weeks but my other half runs a judo club for kids and we aren't that stricted with them and when my son went to the said karate club he himself wasn't impressed so i don't get why its so important either its one bloody lesson!

Would it not seem rude to invite children now when the invites were given out the other day to the first lot? ( I'm thinking this may be the option I do as my son did write a long list of friends and said you could only invite 6 so he cut it down a lot)

*Louise*

I'm just wondering why:

a) They are expecting you to arrange a party around their wishes
b) You are actually contemplating doing it.


If they can't make it then as far as I'm concerned - tough.

I'm sure a child can miss one karate lesson if they really wanted to go, it's not the end of the world. I think you have to realise that the party isn't really that important to them - so is that the type of kids/parents you want to accomodate?

You have a couple who really do want to go - I think you should take them and your DS and have a great day. If you want to invite different people then go ahead - I assume that in the first place there wasn't a big display made of handing out invites in front of everyone? So I doubt others would realise previous invites had been sent.

If my children were invited to a party I can honestly say I would not have the brass neck to suggest it should be changed to a day to suit my child and I think the other parents have shocking manners :eek:

mishelly

We had the same thing happen last month for my son's 10th birthday. We had invited five on a weekend but only two could come as it was in the easter holidays and the absentees were either away on holiday or one boy was visiting his dad, so we held the party with the two that could make it (so three including my son) and we had a ball!

We started off with some food at our house then went bowling and the money I'd saved meant I could give them all a fiver for the arcade games in the bowling alley. They thought it was the best thing since sliced bread, as did I due the entire thing costing me no more than £50

I'd just go with who can come, I didnt try to rearrange as there wasnt time before the easter holidays but I dont think I would have had the inclination to, even if there was the time.

Hope it works out ok

fly_dragon_fly

So looking back at what I wrote last night, I have wrote a note to the mums who's children do the first session of karate offering to move Williams party back 15 minutes so they should hopefully be able to make it, but have also invite 3 more just incase, but am not doing the school run this morning can't face anymore mums telling me about karate lol

fluffnutter

I can understand why you're a bit hurt, fly dragon fly. These parents seem really inflexible. Surely it wouldn't hurt to miss a karate lesson or football just once for the sake of a birthday (which only happens once a year after all)? Or if they really didn't want to do that, couldn't they have relaxed the routine a little to allow for the Tuesday night do? Obsessively demanding that your 6 - 7 year old has to be in bed by 6.30 every night seems a bit over-the-top to me. Sure routine's important but so are birthdays and treats. Kids need a bit of slack now and then.

TBH, I'd get a bit frustrated trying to arrange something for all these precious children and their inflexible mothers and be tempted to invite other kids. However, I doubt that's feasible because these are your little boy's friends and I assume he wants these particular kids at his party.

Ungrateful bunch. Make sure you don't give them party bags!

JimmyTheWig

You could do the bowling with those that can make it and an after school tea for all of them?

I agree that it seems that the mums and/or the children don't seem that fussed about coming, which is a real shame. Do you think your son has actually chosen his closest friends from his original list, or has he chosen his best friend (or two) and a bunch of the "cool kids"?
But at the same time you must accept that having a party on a school night (other than a party tea straight from school) is unusual. The other mums may feel that you aren't making the effort to do it at the weekend (they may not know about your other time off from work, for example) so why should they make the effort?
At first I assumed you were a single mum, then later you mentioned an OH. Could he take the boys bowling at the weekend? At least something to consider for next year.

Acc72

fly_dragon_fly wrote: »

It's breaking my heart to think he might not have a party at all

You might be upset - but what about your son ?

This will be his seventh birthday - did he also have a party on the other birthdays ? (if not, why for this one ?).

It sounds as though you may be putting the "social pressure" on your son - why not just go out at the weekend and have a good time together ?

Also, although it may sound selfish it is understandable that the other parents are not as excited about your sons birthday as you are.

They are thinking "I just want to get little Johnny home from Karate and into bed" or they don't need the "hassle" of a mid week party on a school night (they too may have work commitments and other children to consider etc.).

I would just say be sure that you don't pass on your own disappointment to your son.

mummyroysof3

i was just thinking this morning that maybe 7pm is too early for bedtime now my son is 7..prompted by him keep wanting to get up at 5.30am argh

i would say its more important to do the activity your son wants..if only 2 can come along i dont see the problem...if its spending time with them that he wants then a compromise will have to be found i guess

bluebird

hey you sent the invites ,they can't come Tough,those than can will enjoy it.
I would Never change my party times to suit anybody.I think the other parents are taking the P*ss.