Weight issues

cottonhead

Wasnt sure where to post but would appreciate any advice.
I started to put on weight a few years ago. Im not massive but a bit bigger than I should be.
The main issue is that my husband hates my weight gain. I am actually happy that he is honest enough to tell me and he reassures me he loves me and everything else is fine - its just the weight. Also my mum keeps making comments as she sees it as unhealthy.
I do want to loose weight to make my husband happy as I think he is entitled to find his wife attractive and he wouldnt have started dating me in the first place if I was this weight. I know people say he should love me regardless and I know he does love me - he just doenst find me attractive and I think thats fair enough. I also want to loose weight to help with my health. My breathing has become bad and I lack energy.
My issue is I just cant stop eating. Whenever I am stressed or sad I eat and eat and cant stop. The other day a customer at work told me to F off and it made me quite upset ( usually I wouldnt be that bothered but that day it got to me ) and I havent stopped eating since ! I have tried diets and just cant stick to them and I have litttle time to excercise.
Would councelling be an option or would I just get laughed at ? Im getting bigger and bigger and its upsetting my family and upsets me that I am upsetting them. I just cant stop eating though and want to do something before I really do get massive.

daska

I also find that on a 'normal' diet I can't stop eating, doesn't matter how much I eat I'm hungry again within half an hour. You need to really want to lose weight in order to commit to a diet long term - exercise alone really won't accomplish much more than to make you hungry - but you also need a diet that suits you and which fits with your lifestyle e.g. will your family eat it if you must eat with them etc. E.G. I really struggle with low calorie, low fat diets because they leave me ravenous and bad tempered - so it's no wonder I can't stick to them really - but a low carb diet really suits me and DS2 is happy to eat with me at supper time.

AbbieCadabra

cottonhead - from my own experience i can recognise the patterns you've described there, being an emotional eater is a really hard thing to break & i think counselling sessions would really suit your problem. you've got to the point that you want to help yourself, so go for it! you definitely won't be laughed at if you explain how you're feeling. good luck

ktb

Sounds like a bit of a vicious cycle is in place here cottonhead. I don't have much to offer with the psychological side of things, but it sounds like if you could make some inroads with your eating habits your confidence & happiness would improve.

I second daska's recommendation of exploring eating low carb/high fat. You can google this LCHF website for more comprehensive info to see if it would work for you.

Personally I hate the dreaded 'D' word (diet!) as I think that this instantly puts up a resistance in your head & it also makes it feel like it is a short term fix - neither are helpful! But if you are going to eat when unhappy or to cope with stress, then eating things which don't constantly make you body produce insulin should help as it is the insulin which tells the body to store fat. In a nutshell this is bread, pasta, rice, potatoes & sugar (including fruit). Eating fats & protein don't require insulin to break them down - so they don't cause the weight gain (dietary fat making you fat is a myth, when you remove carbs!) you should be eating more of these types of food, so you don't feel deprived or hungry.

I agree that it is brilliant that your husband felt he could tell you his issue - although you feel down at the moment, it sounds like you have a relationship many would envy and is worth making some positive changes for. Obviously being a healthy weight has lots of benefits beyond the aesthetics. I eat LCHF to prevent diabetes/heart disease/cancer etc. Good luck hun.

sooty&sweep

Hi

Have you tried joining weight watchers or slimming world ?

Personally I'm doing weight watchers at the moment and its not just about being on a diet or an eating plan but its also about the support you get from the other members. Other people who do understand how you feel because they are in or have been in the same position as you.

I've tried to lose weight on my own and I know what I need to do but I do find it easier since I've joined.

Jen

Stephb1986_2

Atleast you have admitted you have a problem and you need to sort it out.

I'm in a similar boat kind of, I need to lose weight I've got just under 2 years till I get married, I don't emotionally eat and I don't eat a lot of food I just don't exercise the reason I don't exercise is because I am on my feet all day ironing (my job) so the last thing I want to do is be on my feet any longer because it really hurts. I've tried diets like slimming world, lighter life etc but I gain the weight afterwards.

I'm seriously thinking of paying for a gastric band or something along them lines.

I'm sick of it being on the tv every day about obese people and there should be a fat tax etc etc When larger people go to the doctors to get help they get shoved from pillar to post not knowing where to go or who to talk to I know because I've been there I'm still waiting for that help. Why is it no the same for alcoholics or drug addicts?? Look at George Best for example how many livers did he get before he finally died? He just couldn't lay off the booze.

Sad thing is you NEED to eat to live you don't need booze or drugs to live.

Steph xx

ikkle87

Counseling will definitely help. Speak to your GP and see if they can offer you some.

Are you drinking enough? Sometimes we think we are hungry when in fact we are just thirsty. If you feel hungry have a glass of cold water and then wait half an hour and if still hungry then eat something.

Also a good way is distract yourself. Take up knitting or cross stitch or reading, find something to occupy your mind other than food.

I would try Slimming World as it's not so much a diet as a healthy eating plan and learning what foods/type of foods to eat together etc. Plus you have the support of the group.

Gastric band wouldn't work if you can't lose weight without it unfortunately. Part of the criteria is to have managed to lose a certain amount of weight, also you can still cheat with a gastric band just like you can with any diet so it's not a quick fix.

gibson123

As you have a supportive husband why don't you start doing some fitness stuff together like romantic walks, or a couples dance class, this will not only help you get fit but will also bring you closer together, if you feel more secure with him and you do enjoyable things together, you may naturally stop emotional eating.

daska

Stephb1986 wrote: »

Atleast you have admitted you have a problem and you need to sort it out.

I'm in a similar boat kind of, I need to lose weight I've got just under 2 years till I get married, I don't emotionally eat and I don't eat a lot of food I just don't exercise the reason I don't exercise is because I am on my feet all day ironing (my job) so the last thing I want to do is be on my feet any longer because it really hurts. I've tried diets like slimming world, lighter life etc but I gain the weight afterwards.

I'm seriously thinking of paying for a gastric band or something along them lines.

I'm sick of it being on the tv every day about obese people and there should be a fat tax etc etc When larger people go to the doctors to get help they get shoved from pillar to post not knowing where to go or who to talk to I know because I've been there I'm still waiting for that help. Why is it no the same for alcoholics or drug addicts?? Look at George Best for example how many livers did he get before he finally died? He just couldn't lay off the booze.

Sad thing is you NEED to eat to live you don't need booze or drugs to live.

Steph xx

There is now evidence that sugar affects the brain exactly the same way - sugar is addictive. I strongly suggest going cold turkey and vowing never to touch the evil stuff again unless it's nicely wrapped up in vegetable fibres. (I'm only half joking.)

Marisco

cottonhead wrote: »

I do want to loose weight to make my husband happy as I think he is entitled to find his wife attractive and he wouldnt have started dating me in the first place if I was this weight.

Wouldn't it be better to lose the weight to make YOU happy? By all means diet but do it for you not for anyone else.

meritaten

hun - could you post your height and weight and your dress size? because quite frankly unless I know this I don't know what advice to give?