Please tell me what you would think

System

I couldnt share a bed with a man who i didnt fancy for these reasons:

a) he might see more than he should
b) in case my hands (or his hands) start to wander in our sleep - EWWW!

If he had his own place why would he go and sleep in his ex's bed? If he was cold he should have put some more clothes on. Oh and i wouldnt be happy with his explanation that he was using her to keep warm. To me, that says he would cuddle up to her.

Maybe i'm just cynical but ive never shared a bed with a man i havent had sex with.

raven83

microme22 wrote: »

yes 3 months of getting to know each other and he was leaving my bed to go to hers ..... and yes he def def had his own place

Just sounds very fishy to me.......how long had you been together before he stopped "sleeping" with her?

Spendless

I wouldn't be happy with or trust a bloke who dates me for a few months and then as our relationship is taken to 'the next level' he is sleeping at his exes in her bed to 'keep warm', having left your bed to do so.

microme22

Judi wrote: »

I couldnt share a bed with a man who i didnt fancy for these reasons:

a) he might see more than he should
b) in case my hands (or his hands) start to wander in our sleep - EWWW!

If he had his own place why would he go and sleep in his ex's bed? If he was cold he should have put some more clothes on. Oh and i wouldnt be happy with his explanation that he was using her to keep warm. To me, that says he would cuddle up to her.

Maybe i'm just cynical but ive never shared a bed with a man i havent had sex with.

I know Judi ........ as I said earlier or think I did ... the ex is strange too ........ I could never share a bed with my ex .........
as I said earlier there is more to this tale but this was the first event that made me suspicious of all things to do with his ex ........ .....

I just wanted some clarification that I am not wrong to think this initial is worthy of feelings of concern about their relationship ..... his ex appears to have been very controlling when they were together ........ and still seems to wear the trousers now ........ and its beginning to get me down ....... as I said there is more to this

globetraveller

there is more to this. Yes, we heard you. I suppose this is one of those threads by installments- like a mini soap.

microme22

raven83 wrote: »

Just sounds very fishy to me.......how long had you been together before he stopped "sleeping" with her?

we got to know each other over 3 months then started sleeping together ......... I found out 5 months later for the first 2 -3 weeks of us actually sleeping together he was sleeping in her bed and not the sofa as he had first told me ...... as I said he was meant to be staying to help out with the kids ...... after 3 weeks he returned to his place ...... but during those 3 weeks he was leaving my bed and going to hers ...... tbh if I had found out then at the time it was happening I would have ended it !! but I found out after he had moved in with me and I had fallen for him

annie_d

I think u can share a bed and not have s e x

microme22

globetraveller wrote: »

there is more to this. Yes, we heard you. I suppose this is one of those threads by installments- like a mini soap.

lol I know you are taking the p*** but actually sometimes I think I am living in a soap ....... just wanted to hear people say that I am not crazy to think what he did was wrong as he said its quite normal ...... and apparently his mates would think I was crazy too

microme22

annie_d wrote: »

I think u can share a bed and not have s e x

Totally agree ........ but not when I am with a new partner and its my ex's bed I'm sleeping in ......... I'm damn sure I know what he would have done had it been the other way round

Lexxi

If you were the ex would you let him sleep in your bed to keep warm?
The way I'm reading this is they split up, he moves out gets his own place, meets you and gets to know you, then as your relationship moves up a step he starts staying at his exes on the settee to help out with the kids for a few weeks, except he isn't staying on the settee.

Turn it around, you split with the father of your children, he moves out then 18 months later the kids are really ill or you get ill unable to look after them (you didn't say why he had to go back) so he moves in for 2-3 weeks to help out and you let him back into your bed to keep warm. I've gotten into a cold bed, alone and with a partner the only way to get warm is to cuddle up.
I've also had unexpected night guests that have had to stay on the settee, they've had clean duvet covers or even towels for extra layers, I've never once offered to budge up and let them sleep in my bed